Husband/Boyfriend in Army Basic Training/ How Did You Handle It?

Question

My husband is in basic training in Fort Sill right now. I have only gotten one letter in the four weeks that he has been there. I miss him terribly. I can't sleep good at night. Has anybody else had a loved one in Basic training and how did you get yourself through it?

Answer 1

He must of wanted to go to Iraq or Afganistan, wow. We'll just get used to alot of separation time cause it's coming your way. And when you are together, its a beautiful thing.

Answer 2

My husband just left for BT at Fort Sill yesterday! To make it worse I am 18 weeks pregnant and it makes it harder for me. He was at MEPS last night and actually flew out this afternoon and got there this evening. Yesterday I cried NON STOP! Today he called twice since he wasn't officially there yet, but now I wont here from him for a while. There is a VERY good website.. www.marriedtothearmy.com. I am on it all the time. It gives information on everything and also there is a section where the wives/girlfriends filled out a section about their soldiers being at Fort Sill for BT. It helped me a lot and gave me a good idea of how often I'll hear from my husband. If you want to talk just e-mail me... [e-mail]. But otherwise just write to him every day telling him how proud you are of him and just find ways to keep yourself busy. I spend a lot of time online and shopping and spending time with my family. (So far, its only been two days)! We just have to be strong and it will get easier as it goes on, my husband is Cannon Crewmember 13B so I know he will be deployed shortly after getting back. And dont listen to these women who tell you to grow up, suck it up, get used to it and be secure in yourself... it's 100% okay to miss your man!

Answer 3

My husband is doing his 2nd tour overseas. I miss him like crazy. As far as the sleep thing goes, buy pillows! I know it sounds silly, but once you get like a dozen in the bed the bed doesn't feel so empty. He has been gone for 8 months, and I still sleep bad, but the pillows really do help.

Answer 4

It sounds like your husband got there pretty close to the same time as my boyfriend did. My boyfriend has been there and only gets to call on Sundays also. We talk for about 5 minutes each week and write to each other as much as possible.

I write to him daily, it's my way of staying close and letting him know what has been going on at home while he's away. He usually sends me a letter once or twice a week.

Thankfully my boyfriend is in the National Guard and I know he will be coming home after AIT in mid-October.  I am lucky enough to have my kids and family to keep my busy as well as my job but fully understand being lonely without my best friend. Dave enlisted before we met and for me to be with him, I have to accept the military as part of him now. I know that it's hard and the nights are the worst, but try to find something.

I have also started working out in the evening after I put my kids to bed to keep me busy and it has helped also. Plus when I get to go see him for Family Day and Graduation, I am already 10 pounds lighter!

Answer 5

my fiance was in the marines and went to VietNam back in 1967....it was tuff but we made it, my son has been to Iraq twice and now is taking his company back in 1 month....you step up, you dont complain, you support him in whatever he needs, you have no idea what he is going thru...just be there and pray

Answer 6

Not in basic, but my BF has been in Iraq for the past 12 months.  It sucks!!! Stay busy, honey.  It makes the time go by faster.  Find a hobby, join a club, take some classes, etc.  Just know that even though he doesn't get to talk to you all the time, he's thinking about you like crazy.  Stay strong:)

Answer 7

first of all dont mess around on him. you think if you only got one letter how many has he gotten?

its way harder on the soldier than you.

just hang out with your girl friends and family. keep your mind off it. he will be home sooner than you think.

Answer 8

when my hubby was in basic training, i focused on using that time to prepare myself for the upcoming move/changes in our life and also to prepare for myself for what it would be like during future deployments (which is what we're in the middle of now). stay busy! i worked, then after work i went to the gym for 2 hours, then i came home and ate dinner. by that time it was time to go to sleep, my body was exhausted enough to actually sleep. keep busy not only to keep your mind off obsessing about the separation, but also to physically exhaust your body enough to be able to sleep at night. plus, i wrote him every night and mailed it before work in the morning. helped me feel like we were able to have some daily connection (even though it was one-sided! :) good luck and remember, basic doesn't just prepare the soldier for the military life, it prepares the whole family!  

Answer 9

yes, and it was tough at first but then you get used to it...of course i was kind of a lone wolf to begin with but i can tell you matter of factly that you're not alone and other people in your situation(like me)are here to talk to to ease the lonely. i've got two kiids and one on the way, i'm not going to say i don't cry sometimes ar that it is always easy to sleep at night without him...but it gets better...

i'm using the time to learn french, read more books, leran to cook, and i want to learn how to fix cars to, i find if you stay busy, it gets easier..you just have to cherish the letters you get(and send him lots, he's going thru h**l)and cherish the little time you get together.

hang in there it's only 4 months as apposed to a year or so when he goes to war...

Answer 10

My husband is a former Marine and now in the Army. I have been with him since before boot.

i went through this.

i meet my husband (then boyfriend) in hs, i was a junior he was a freshman in college. we dated for a week and then he told me he had enlisted in the USMC and was leaving for boot a month later. then he told me he would marry me one day. i thought he was crazy.

then the came and took him a month early. we were only dating for a week, only knew each other for a week. he asked to promise him to write him. he knew the mental stresses they would put him through would be tough. he said he didnt care if we didnt date anymore, but he wanted a constant in his life.

so i wrote him. we dated through letters. we poured our hearts out to each other through them. more than we would have said in person.

when he came home from boot on his 10 day leave. he gave me a promise ring. three years later we were married. and three years after that we have our first son.

it was hard, so hard. i have been through everything with him. experienced harsh raw emotions with him through boot, training and deployments.

so you are not the only one going through this. it might seem like it because there are a lot of people who go from one given area at a time.

at the time i was the only one i knew going through it.

there are a lot of support groups online you can join.

www.armywives.com is the best i have found. i am on there. flyboywife so you can look me up. you can post about anything there and there a ton of ladies in your position. so you dont end up feeling so alone.

www.militarywives.com it is the main site. they give a lot of support and advice when you feel alone.

Answer 11

yes my husband went in ....if you seriously cannot handle this how are you going to handle him being deployed? because right now he is in a safe little world...when my husband went in there wasnt a conflict going on anywhere in the world...so when it did happen almost two years later and for the last 18 years continued..anyone who has went in should expect to leave family behind and go....you are going to have to grow up and get secure in yourself...or you will never make it when he gets deployed....im not trying to sound mean but i wont sugar coat it for you either..it can be a rough life if you think they actually care about your relationship...they dont..they care he is where they tell him to be...