Husband all about him??

Question

I need some advice. I just dont know what to do anymore. Ok the situation is that all my husband cares about is him having fun. He acts like the world revolves around him. I am so fed up with it, Im starting to resent him.I have no problems with him doing things he enjoys, thats not the issue.The issue is thats all he does.He doesnt spend anytime with his family.We have a 15 month old boy and a 10 year old daughter(my step).And any freetime he has, hes out fishing, riding his bike, or whatever else he enjoys.Since our son was born, I have been out of the house once without the baby, and that was 2 hours for my birthday.His #1 priority is his fun and hobbies,not family.When I was pregnant, he was totally into it,but since my son was born, its all about him now.For example, one weekend I was so sick, everytime I stood up,I blacked out,I was sicker than a dog, and couldnt take care of our son, he was out having fun all weekend long.Thats all he does.And again, he can have fun, do things he enjoys,BUT, not every single minute of freetime he gets.Like I said since my son was born, I have been out once, and I really need a break,I have to get out of the house once in awhile, every Mom does for their own sanity. But he wont give me that option, he makes plans to go do what he wants.He spends absolutely no time with his children and does nothing for them, and its not like he financially supports us, i work too. He is 40 years old, a 40 year old kid is what he is, and Im fed up.I talk to him about it all the time, and nothing changes. We are having money troubles, and the other day needed diapers and food, well all the money we had, he blew it at the bar. So I had to borrow money to buy diapers.Im so fed up with it, so stressed, im about ready to snap. Im pretty much a single Mom, he does absolutely nothing to help with our son.Its his son just as much as mine.Its not like he makes plans for all of us to have fun, all of his plans do not include any of us. I need some advcie, what do I do?? How do I make him realize Im fed up, Im done, and Im not going to deal with this anymore, since talking to him doesnt work, what else??? I really need to get out of the house, even for a few hours, by myself, before i lose it.And I cant because hes never home.Im fed up with him blowing money we dont have on beer and his hobbies. Help!!! I do I get it through his head that Im fed up, and I had it, and life does not revolve around him???

Answer 1

Man, that's a tough situation. I would be furious. It's almost like he deserves an ultimatum: either he changes his habits or else. Luckily I told my husband (then fiance) that one of the reasons besides cheating I would leave him if he starts gambling more than once a year. However, your situation is different because he was involved before you had a baby, and now he is not. Is there anybody else who can talk to him? A brother? A pastor?

Do you have a friend or a relative who can babysit the kids for a few hours while you get out? That's probably what I would do. If you work, who watches your kids while you're at work? Maybe all you need to do is to take a half day off from work and instead of going straight home, take the half day for your self while your kids are being watch anyways.  

Answer 2

Do you have any family close by, that you could go stay with for a couple days, just so he can see how serious you are about things? I think you should spend sometime away from him. Maybe a family member or a friend could watch your son, so you could go out alone and do something by yourself? I understand where your coming from, since I am a mom too, you definitely need to make a little time for yourself. I am sorry your husband doesn't seem to get it.

Answer 3

First of all: He doesn't love and respect you. When you were married he promised to love and respect you. He should be thinking of you. Second divorce him, and have him pay child support and spousal allowance. There should be free attorneys in your town you can talk to for free.