Husband cheating on the interent?

Question

Usually I'm the one who Internetone's advice giver, and listens to all my friends problems, and usually I know what to say, but I'm stuck on this one and I need your insight:

My best friend and her boyfriend had a child together back in Feb of 2008 and they decided to get married in July of 2008. I got a disturbing call from her last night, and basically she just found out that her husband has an incognito my space page, that no one knows about, he's listed as single, basically trying to pick up some ladies in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania... which is where he will be living while she is in Iraq. (She's in the military) He copied and pasted the same message to 29 girls basically saying, "I'm new to this my space thing, looking to meet someone new, you are very beautiful, hope to talk to you soon sweetie." He was sending these messages last Friday and Saturday. I'm sure it can go without saying that she was beside herself. She confronted him and asked him if there was anything that he has done that is wrong since they have been married... of course he looked at her like she was crazy and denied it... so she brought up the my space page, threw her laptop in his lap, and walked out. She called me hyperventilating, and freaking out. She is headed to the middle east in 3 weeks, and she doesn't even know if her marriage is going to last, and if she can trust her husband. This is probably an all time low. I told her she needs to seek counsel to see what her rights are, and she needs to get tested for STD/HIV, because she's not sure what he's done already, and seeing how they are married they don't have protected s*x. I tried calming her down, but I'm not sure what else I can say to her. I pretty much think the marriage is over, and she should file for separation, but I don't wanna tell her that. What do you think?

Answer 1

Only she can make the decision on whether or not to leave this man.  I think she should and you think she should, but she has to think she should before it will happen.  You can't help her there.  Just support her no matter what.  

Answer 2

I agree. The marriage is over-because 1) he lied,2) He didn't even come clean when confronted, 3)he violated his marriage vows.

I am so sorry to hear this story and I know how she must feel as just to weeks ago I found old email addresses that were "supposed to be" deleted, that my husband reactivated and used to sign up for p**n sites. Not just p**n sites but p**n myspace-type sites, with pornographic photos posted. He did this to me during the time my dad was very sick, and ended up dying. He said he was driven to it because I had changed. Of course I changed! My dad just died!

Then, when he returned to the site later...he said it was just a "test" to see if another girl could give him a *****. WTF?

We are married, right? What difference would that make? He still lies and pretends he didn't make one of the other sites I found, and some girl from his past keeps writing me to tell me how they messed around (another thing he denies). I moved from the USA to New Zealand for him, and for what? THIS? Now with my dad gone I have no home, nowhere to go. I'm stuck with someone I don't trust.

At least she has a way out, hard as it is to her heart. Cheaters don't deserve second chances.

Answer 3

I think that he's probably cheating. The request to pick up 29 girls was a tipoff.

Answer 4

Well, let me tell you this, i had this problem happen to me before, what she needs to do is talk to him without anyone else on the phone,the net, or anything else. She also needs to think about maybe someone hacked his myspace page (trust me it happens) if he say's he didn't do anything then she should trust him, if she finds something again then she needs to bring that to his face and if he denies it then yes i believe the marriage is over. Btw are these people teenagers b/c it sure sounds like it,to be honest with you.

Answer 5

OHHHH DIVORCE TIME!!!!