Husband doesn't want to see his children?

Question

I left my husband because he was cheating with his ex. He now doesn't want to speak to me or his kids (he says this on the phone and I can hear his kids in the background - the kids he has with his ex). I think he is definitely back with his ex, but, I don't care about that. What I care about is that fact that I went through h**l with both him and his ex for years, trying to make him keep contact with her kids, pay support, get visitation, etc. and now he cuts my kids off? WTF? I'm pissed and think about killing him and her on a regular basis. That's why I left, the creeping around was just becoming blatant and he felt I should just deal with it. Help, advice...something please. Now, he's telling me I'm the one who's crazy.

Answer 1

Sounds like he's cutting off the kids to punish you.  You're better off without him and so are your kids.  Kids shouldnt be used as a weapon.  Later on when he's sorry, the kids wont want to know.  When I got divorced, the ex didnt want anything to do with the kids.  Now he blames me for why the kids dont want contact with him - but its because they know I raised them myself.  Focus on your kids, forget him.  There are good men out there - hope you find one!

Answer 2

So sorry that you and the children had to experience this nightmare. However, sounds to me as though he is doing the children a favor by staying away, he doesn't sound like a very good role model. You will need to simply gain your composure, get a grip and continue moving forward. Obviously, you have what it takes to do so, you left him and this will have it own rewards in the end. You can do bad all by yourself... Good luck and God bless

Answer 3

You're not the one who's crazy, he is. So don't let him tell you that you are. I'm not saying you say that to his face, but know deep down inside that he's a pathetic loser so who cares what he says? If a crazy man who talked to invisible martians told you that you were crazy, would you listen to him? So think of your ex this way. No nice, decent man would cut off seeing his children. I'm sorry for your kids he's doing this. But they have you, and one loving parent is better than none. So just love them with all your heart, which I'm sure you're doing any way. And they will survive. Children are strong. Just stop caring what your husband says and thinks. It's not important. And you're giving him too much power when you do.  

Answer 4

First you claim you could 'care less' if he is with his ex. . . and yet the rest of your posting was entirely devoted to bashing him and his ex.   "Thou doust protest too much"  (in other words, if you didn't care, you wouldn't talk about it so much).

What about your concern for your children not having quality time with their dad?  Doesn't that concern you at all?  It should!

What advice do you want from us?  

You are too obsessed with your loser husband.  Focus on your children and giving them all the love and support they need and deserve.  They are the real victims in this mess and my heart goes out to them.

Answer 5

It's so sad, but so many of do this everyday...help him right out the door and into someone else's arms. Sometimes we can overdo the nurturing thing, making the jerks commit to something like their own kids, which should come naturally. He's a weasel. He just 'hangs' on to woman after woman. h**l, he's not even creative about it. If you hadn't pushed him to take care of his responsibilities with his 'other' kids, he'd still be hangin' onto you. Be glad she won the jerk back. You don't need the problems. Plus he's a horrible example for your kids.

Answer 6

Are they his kids as well..?

If they are, then tell him this isn't a 'when you feel like coming around' situation, the kids will be waiting. Tell him if he wants a relationship with the kids, you two can arrange a schedule. I.e. every second day every third weekend, whatever it is. and arrange that... and STICK TO IT, you can't use your kids as pawns in a game, etc... so if for wahtever reason you work M-F 5pm-12pm you can't just ASSUME that he will take the kids when its convienent for YOU.

If the kids aren't his...

Be glad, and move on.

Answer 7

if he was abusive to your children why would you want them to see him?  Visitation and child support are not related get the money keep the kids away from him.

Answer 8

He's very immature and I'm sorry for your kids.  If he ever wants a relationship with them when they are older, they won't want one.  Raise them the best you can and let them know at least one parent loves them

Answer 9

Cut him loose, if he is cheating on you then he is cheating on you, it is unfortunate that he was not a good husband to you or a good father to your kids, but now you must be a good mother and a good father to your kids, so do not worry about it.

Take care of your family.

Answer 10

WHAT DID YOU EXPECT????  Geez........... YOU have to MAKE him see his other kids.... but you have KIDS with him too??  So now that he's left... shocker!.... he won't see his kids with you.  Hmmm........ that is WHAT HE DOES......... if he does it with you, he'll do it TO you.  Get a clue....

And the sad thing is that your kids will now suffer from the bad choices in the past.......

I would strongly hope that you won't put your kids through this again.  No more men for awhile... work on being a good parent.  If your father can be more involved in their lives, that would be good too as they will need a father figure to help them.  

Sorry to be harsh........ but I hate when kids are caught in the middle of the c**p that adults do.  YOU should have seen it based on how he was with his ex and his other kids... now work on reducing the damage to your own kids and hope that at some point your husband gets his head out of his ***...

Good luck......... God bless

Answer 11

This guy sounds like an *** right outta the gate.  He sounds like he's TRYING to hurt you the only way he knows how since you decided to leave and hurt him.  It's ok though you and your kids are going to be so much better off without all that dis function.  You can find someone better than that and someone who wants to be a good father to your children.  Tell him to kiss your A@@ and drop dead.  He should be begging to see his children after how he acted to you and them.  Good luck!  Get strong girlfriend

Answer 12

If he was verbally and physically abusive, to you and your children, why would you want to leave them with him anyway. This just says you want him to come to see them while you are there under your terms. You need to stop all contact with him and focus on doing the best you can with your children. It is done everyday, a woman raising children on her own and doing a great job. Be that woman and leave the loser alone. He is no good for you or them and it will be horrible for the kids if he is forced to see them. Look into your kids eyes and know that YOU are their everything and he is not deserving of any of you.

Answer 13

Do yourself a favor, and stop all contact with him. There is nothing you can do to make it easier for the kids, but at least you can stop some of the stress you are going through.   The sooner you stop the sooner he will come to realize that you where the good one, and there was a reason that his ex was his ex.  You might be glad he is out of the picture when you finally realize that he was no good, and you can find someone that will be good to you, and your kids. Don't let him come back and forth like he did with the other one, or you might as well all move into one house.  

Answer 14

im sorry to hear all this but he is acting like a small kid

you should take him to cord for all this

you cant handle everythink on your own & you have to do somethink abou it!..today NOT tomorow!