Husband driving me insane?

Question

I am very happy that my husband is wanting to be involved in this pregnancy. I have a small problem though. He thinks I should go through this birth with zero pain medication, maybe do a water birth and he wants his mom, my mom, his dad and my dad, plus him, all in the delivery room. Right now I am just saying that I will think about it dear just so I am not starting any controversy. The issue is, I don't know if I want to forgo all pain meds. I would like to keep my options open just in case something happens. I also have no wish to have a water birth, or a home birth. I don't want a midwife, I am happy with my obgyn and I only want his mom, my mom and of course my husband, not half the family in the delivery room. I know I have time before I really have to buckle down and make a decision. Any advice on how I can go about making my wishes known without hurting his feelings? Help!

Answer 1

This baby will be his just as much as yours, he should be involved in decisions.... this said, there is one thing you have on him. It is YOUR body, not his. YOU have to carry this baby and give birth to him or her. All these decisions are really yours to make but you can give him a say and let him speak his mind. I wouldn't want my dad or my husband's dad in the delivery room. That's not for them to see. They can come in right after the baby is born when you are decent.

Answer 2

you are the one having the baby you will  be in tremendous pain believe me keep your options open do not agree on anything because you may change your mind and also i dont think i wouldnt want me father in ther i had an epederal and me and him was the only ones in there. in a water birth your shirt is also off unless you chose to keep something on but i didnt want anyone else in there but it is up to you dont do anything that will make you uncomfartable because you will already be in alot of pain. good luck and congrats!!!

Answer 3

WHAT??!! Your husband has a h**l of a nerve!!! It's YOUR body having to go through labor and deliver NOT his!! How dare he tell you that you shouldn't have pain meds or you should deliver at home with a midwife! YOU are the mother not him!! My friend almost lost her baby because she did a water birth with a midwife and the midwife took too long to call an ambulance when things went wrong and the baby's heartbeat was erratic and he couldn't come out, not to mention she was in HARD labor for 7 hours after 19 hours of regular labor. Her son almost died!! Luckily she got to the hospital in the nick of time and he's ok but there's a lot that can go wrong.

I'm pregnant and plan on having the most painkillers that they will safely allow me to. Have your husband watch TLC every day with the pregnant women who give birth. So many of them *think* they want med free childbirth until they feel the agony of labor, and then they've often waited till it's too late. Why torture yourself??

You need to stop worrying about his feelings because he obviously is not worried about yours. You should only allow in the delivery room people YOU are comfortable with staring at your innermost privates!! How would your husband like to be on display having his p***s, s*****m, balls and a**s on display for every family member, both male and female, to stare at for hours?? Oh man, if my husband said this stuff to me I'd be SO p*ssed!! He already tried to say he wanted to video record the birth and I told him no way on earth!!!  You need to stand up for yourself!

Answer 4

You are giving birth, not him. So give it to him strait sister. Say look, I am pushing something the size of a basketball out a hole only big enough for a baseball...sports metaphors usually work in the male mind. It is going to hurt, and if it does hurt to the point I cant take it I am taking some meds because I am pushing this baby out, not you. If he still doesn't understand that tell him to push a dime out of his pee-pee hole. lol. Then tell him, this is not a glamorous job, and I would only like the women in the room(plus him of course) that have had children and know what is expected. This is a big show you are about to put on but I understand that you don't want 3 men all staring "down there" when the baby is coming. Tell him that yes, he helped make the baby, but you are the one who has to to the hard part, he had an easy job. lol. I say tell him the truth, bluntly. That will get rid of a lot less stress that you don't need at a time like this. Good luck, and I hope you have a wonderful delivery.

Answer 5

What is he thinking?!He's not giving birth,you are.He wont feel the pain,you will.Tell him to get real.Girl,you do what you want.Don't let everyone in there when you give birth...That is a messy,embarrassing,private thing and you need to feel comfortable.Right after I had my son,my sister in-law and Mother in-law came in and I wasn't too thrilled with that.This is how I feel about it but you do what you want.Take care and God bless you.

Answer 6

In the delivery room is your time and your the boss. Whatever makes you feel more comfortable and at ease go for it but let them know ahead of time. Your not going to want to look at them all while your pushing trust me and you may say things in there that will hurt their feelings alot worse. Tell your husband that you are nervous and scared, no pain meds is insane!!!! Go for the epidural because that isn't actually considered a pain med, just numbing from the waist down see what he thinks about that. Pick a good time...you and him sit down and discuss all of it, compromise when possible but don't agree to anything that will have you upset on the day, it makes the birthing process worse

Answer 7

Sweetie, realize that right now he is just as excited about this as you are! My husband talked about taking up about 400 different activities, building a child wing onto our home and taking a dad class all before the baby got here! The further along I got pregnant and the more he realized that keeping it simple for me was best he backed off. Just let him brain storm for now, keep telling him what is in your comfort level and all should be well. It is a new dad phase he is going through is all. As far as who is in the delivery room, when it comes down to it, you are the boss. Try talking to your mom and his mom and let them know you only want a few in there. Coming from two women who have been there, they can explain to him exactly how important it is to make sure your wishes during labor go. Better for you and baby too! Good luck!