Husband filed for full custody of our child?

Question

Separated for 3 months. I still love my husband but he doesn't (obviously) feel the same way. I am a excellent mother. That is why I was completely thrown off when finding out yesterday he filed for full custody, child support (of our 2 year old son.) and wants me to pay his attorney fees. I don't know what to do. We go to mediation in a couple of weeks. I would never want to keep him from his son but full custody is a bit much when I'm the one who has taken care of our child day in and out for 2 and a half years. I don't want to be mean to my husband either. Help please!!

Answer 1

A divorce is basically a lawsuit. It's common in suits to ask for the world, figuring to get less but putting the other side on the defensive. If there's no real reason for him to have sole custody, he's very unlikely to get it. Most of these things work out pretty much according to formula.  Joint custody.Child lives with mom. Dad has visitation, alternate holidays. Dad pays mom child support. They pay their own lawyers. You DO have a lawyer, right? Forget mean. You don't have to me mean, but you do need an attorney when you're in this kind of contest.  

Answer 2

for some reason he is choosing to be spiteful and wants to hurt you. speaking from expeirience, very nasty divorce 7 yrs ago, document everything ... everything he does wrong. document everything you have done till now.. being the custodial parent while he works.. hire a gardian ad litem to be your childs voice in court... and from experience, being nice in court does not always pay off.. I was nice and did not speak badly of my ex who abused me verbally for years, and lost my kids, I lost everything , litteraly... hire the best dirty lawyer you can get.. FIGHT FOR YOUR SON.. DO NOT LET HIM TAKE HIM..

Hes being mean to you, FIGHT BACK...  

Answer 3

Get a divorce attorney and give them full reign to do what needs to be done.  Usually the mother gets custody and you would have to be a very horrible mother not to get custody.  Let the divorce attorney do their work and relax.  

Answer 4

You seem to be a kind woman but you obliviously chose the wrong person to have a kid with.  I hope someday your future ex validates you as a mother. Although, you have to admit you were probably not a good wife under his judgment.  

Answer 5

Can he prove you a unfit mother? The court will not consider anything but what is best for the child.

Answer 6

I don’t think you have much to worry about. Courts rarely give full custody to fathers. Unless the mother is proven to be unfit and is not the best place for the child. It seems very unlikely he would get full custody. The judge would rule in the best interest of the child. Seeing that your son is only 2 years old and you have always been his primary caretaker I personnel would not see it in the boy’s best interest to have the father assume the role of primary caretaker.

I am afraid this feels more like spite which is very sad because your child will be the one to get hurt.  

Answer 7

His lawyer has him under his spell ready to generate maximum fees.

This is all that matters...

"I'm the one who has taken care of our child day in and out for 2 and a half years."

Unless you are a convicted felon, drug abuser, or physically abusive the whole system is designed for you to get exactly what he has filed for.

He will get a rude awakening, his lawyer will get to take his family to ARUBA on vacation this year with the fee revenue.

Get your own lawyer.

Answer 8

Honey, I am so sorry to hear about your  situation.  I feel awful for you!  All I can say is take it one step at a time and do what  you feel you have to do.  Remember, your son is in the middle of this.  He needs both of you.

Best of luck!

Answer 9

  I agree with retroranch.  Definitely get a lawyer.  You were wanting to benice and probably would have gone for shared physical custody, but now I think you have to go for full custody (ask your lawyer when you get one)(but get one now, now, now)  Be calm, but don't worry anymore about whether you are mean to him or not.  He's not worried about being nice.  Stay calm and collected around him at any proceedings, but don't give in to whatever he wants either.  And what the heck kind of audacity... He wants YOU to pay HIS attorney fees.  No.  And make sure that your lawyer knows that he's asking this.

Answer 10

Stay calm during mediation they are looking at every move you make. Tell the truth in a calm manner and the truth will show. Let him come off the liar he is in court. He is spiteful.

GOOD LUCK♥

Answer 11

He won't get full custody unless he can prove you unfit.  Generally judge will rule joint custody with primary residence with the mother.  Don't worry about your husband at this point cause he sure isn't worried about you.  Fight for baby and do whatever it takes!  Good Luck to you sweetie

Answer 12

He can't get full custody unless he has EVIDENCE that you are a bad mom, DRUGS, abandonment, police record?   You NEED an attorney and you need your attorney to counteract this action.  Get busy.  

Do you work full time?   It is best if you don't leave your son with anyone except a reputable child care provider, or better yet, your mom or sister.  Don't give him any reason to be able to prove that your son is away from you except for when you go to work.  

DO NOT be DATING until this all settled.  Don't go away for the weekend and leave your son with a baby sitter.  Don't move away, because that could be grounds for him to take your son... it doesn't make sense... but you have to prove you want your son.  He could have a private investigator watching you.  Where are your parents?  Be sure to have them come to visit and be a part of your son's life.. this will be important, too.