(Husband in Afghan.) Do you think I have trust issues?

Question

I didn't know where else to post this so that the people who really understand deployment could help me.

Ok.. well first off.. My husband is in Afghan..

I'm not juss saying this because he is my husband, but he is a really good looking guy.. He has a tone body, and the cutest smile. And I know the girls will try to flirt wit him.

(BTW a married girl flirts wit him and her husband is in Afghan also. But he says she is juss being herself.. There is such thing as girls with flirty personalities, and if that's the case.. try to avoid her as much as possible.. but he works wit her & thats his excuse.)

I trust my husband will never cheat on me. And wen we get into the topic of girls flirting with him.. i say "I trust u, I don't trust the girl" and he says its juss an excuse and what I'm really saying is that I don't trust him.

My sister-in-law said "Don't worry, both of u will grow out of it" (we will be married for a yr in December).

Ok so what I'm trying to ask is..

Is it really me with the trust issues toward my husband?? and If so, What do I do to calm my self down with the jealousy??

or

Do you understand what I mean when I say "I trust you, I dont trust the girls"?? and If So, What can I do to get him to realize that I trust him??

Thanks Alot,

Sammy

(Army Wife)

Answer 1

big time

Answer 2

I can understand where you don't trust the other girls.  However, realize when you say that the back side of it is that you really don't trust him, either.  He can't control the other women.  He can only control himself.  And if he's giving you signs that he's committed to you then you have to trust him no matter what any other women offer him.

Answer 3

Im so glad to see im not the only one who says "its the other girl im worried about", I tell him this all the time. I do have a trust issue but its my own problem. I know he would never do anything but I do worry about this. He is in the army too and he is older and works with younger guys who like to go out and party and are single, so that's one worry to the "peer pressure". But I let him know my worries and he respects that and I don't believe he would do anything. And don't let others fool you when they say its just because this is a new marriage because we have been together 10 years and it still bugs me but not nearly as much as before.Honestly, I think this is normal and the ones who say they have no trust issue yeah right,there has to be a certain degree of jealousy between both people if not then i believe you don't care what happens in your relationship.  

Answer 4

Don't be insecure but do be realistic. Some women go overboard with jealousy but as an Army wife with a young marriage you have the right to be suspicious to some degree. Lots of husbands cheat in Iraq and Afghan, especially if they have pog jobs or work with women. Qutar for leave can be rough on a marriage too, trust me.

I have friends whose husbands lived double lives in Iraq. One had no idea until the girl called her three months after they returned home.

Bottom line is there is nothing you can do to sop him from cheating. You could sit and worry or you could get a degree and or a good career so if h**l breaks loose you're prepared for it.

Don't put yourself in a position where you are away from family and completely dependent on him for income. You'll be sorry.

Answer 5

Yes. You do have trust issues.  

Answer 6

First relax a little about the other women.  yes he does have to work with some but there will always be a bit of flirting and such between coworkers.  So rather than worry about it, place some trust in the fact you won his heart and when talking with him don't bring up the subject of the other women.  Leave it alone and buried. Talk to him about everything else.  You expect him to trust you and other men around you and at work, so have the same trust in him and his judgement.  It takes a lot for a new marriage having separation so early but work at it.

Answer 7

jealousy is an evil thing that will eat you alive

if you don't get a handle on it it will destroy every relationship you have

I have seen more marriages destroyed by ridiculous fears, bad manners and immaturity, than by infidelity

counciling could help and its free to military spouses please go get some honey

9year veteran navy wife-new army mom

Answer 8

Grow up. Just who do you think he is going to mess with there?

Oh yeah. Try that spell check function next time. It helps to make your unbelievable story at least LOOK better...........

Answer 9

For a start, your husband is in a war. He has many many other things on his mind with the top one by a mile being to survive. you can be distracting him from his prime mission which is to come back to you. Do you know if he has similar trust issues with you? if you think that he has but that they are unjustified then give him the same benefit of doubt. For sure you will have far many more opportunities to cheat than he will. If you don't trust him then divorce him.... or grow up a bit and know that he loves you