Husband is working our son to death for football practice?

Question

My husband is a very nice man, but he tends to go crazy over sports.

Recently he had our son join a peewee football team. At first it was good times with his dad, but then my husband's competitiveness came out. He started making my son go through "training" to toughen him up. He makes him excercise and practice all evening! He even has him running number of laps around the house while he supervises.

he doesn't understand that boys need time for freeplay! How can I explain to him?? He gets angry at me when I try

Answer 1

tell him that if he pushes to far then he could push away his son but if the son keeps playing then football coaches are going to get harder an tougher but it might be good for him

Answer 2

hes trying to live as his son

Answer 3

let him do it so when hes in middle and high school  he'll get  girls by being a jock.

Answer 4

If your son is complaining, it is time to step in.  But if not, leave it alone.

Your husband is trying to teach your son that if he really wants to be good at something, it requires a lot of work and practice.  This is a valuable life lesson.

Boys need unstructured play time, but they also need structured play time; time structured by adult males whom they would like to emulate.  Your son is way more better off than kids who's fathers don't spend any time with them.

Answer 5

I am sorry but I think it is all wrong. My husband pushed my son into dirt bike riding against my wishes. It started at 6 years old, he bought him a bike for his 6th birthday. My husband loved dirt bike riding, it was his passion. I was too weak to say NO! our son and family, suffers the consequences, he has a severe brain injury now. At 13 he was dirt bike riding with his father and went over a jump, landed on his head. ( he had a helmet on). We all suffer now and see no end to it!!! I think a mothers intuition should take over and protect their children. It is all we have.

Answer 6

Ask your son if it is making him tierd and if it is maybe let him somehow tell his dad that he is to tierd like if he dad says "Want to go ride our bikes?" have him say "No thanks dad..im to tiered from all that way to hard practice..could we maybe train a little less?" and that might work. I hope this helped.

-Tara

Answer 7

your son will thank him for that later on.

what if your son become a nfl star when he grew up?

Answer 8

i have seen this many times

ask your son how he feels about it and tell him to tell his father. his father will understand if it is coming from his son.

Answer 9

How old is your son?  

See, this is called living vicariously.  Your husband can't or won't play football but his son can so he's going to try to live through his experiences.  Sounds harmless but it's wrong.  

Perhaps your son could turn out to be some great football player and herald his success to his dad's pushing him as a child.  Or perhaps he could come to loathe football and put a rift between him and his dad.  More likely the latter, especially if he is younger.  

I'd talk to the son, with your husband in hearing range, and ask him how he feels about all the practice and the football.  Also, something I've done with my kids, between seasons, ask the child casually if they wish to sign up again for the next season.  Leave it totally up them and ask the question without leading their decision in either direction.  Kids change their preferences for activity many many times and you've got to let them choose what they want or they won't grow to trust their own instincts.  

If I suggested to my very un-athletic oldest son that I would love for him to be a super soccer player, he'd play and pretend he liked it, just to make me happy.  But where would that get him or me?

Answer 10

Well, you ARE the mom, right?  So just tell him to ease up.  You may have to be quite forceful.  If that doesn't work, have the coach talk to him.  If the kid isn't having any FUN, he's going to end up hating sports and never playing.  He may also end up resenting his father for living his (his father's) life vicariously (through the son).

Answer 11

You might want to leave that alone. He'll get angry and the sitch will get ugly. Sometimes it's best to let him be the dad and raise his son the way he sees fit.

On the other hand you mustn't let it turn to abuse. Hard work isn't bad. Keep your son hydrated and be supportive of both of them.