Husband keeps critisizing my housework?

Question

He's doing my head in! OK...so I am no perfect housewife...I never have been...but I play with our children and keep the important things clean...clothes, toilets, floors, cooking surfaces...and children! I keep the garden beautifully and I work from home earning enough to keep from asking him for any money for housekeeping or clothes for me or the children...I also buy all the presents at Christmas and Birthdays...I am a cheerful person...with ambition..run my own business from home and am doing pretty well...but he is moaning about the housework! My cupboards are not organised or there are piles of clothes waiting to be put away...I don't dry the dishes...I HAVE to cut some corners because of the business and I wont cut corners on spending time with the children...what can I do? WHy is he like this? I am really at the end of my tether now...it's gotten so bad that I keep thinking of leaving as I am not happy...he makes me angry all the time and thats just not me!

Answer 1

I'm sorry to hear this. I know i'm most certainly not old enough to be telling you what to do, but from where i'm standing - he only seems to be taking when he never gives. You do everything, yet he's still complaining? He thinks a woman's job is easy, a typical man who doesn;t have the slightest clue how difficult it is to raise children. One thing he most definitely should be doing is giving you credit for what you do as well as helping you out. Talk to him once more and make sure that you tell him that if he doens't sort his act then it'll be the last time you'll ever talk. Give him a little scare, he'll realise what he's about to lose. At least that's what i would do. Good luck:)

Answer 2

Oh bless you! Sounds like you are doing a brilliant job, there are more important things in life than housework! (although I should try to practice what I preach more, as I stress about what other people might think if my house isnt tidy!)

I work from home too, and know just how challenging it can be judgling the business, children and a household- some men have no idea what its like being a modern woman who needs to do EVERYTHING!

Fortunately my husband isn't fussy about a clean home at all (although sometimes I wish he was so he would pick up afer himself abit more!) but you really need to get it through to your husband that you are concentrating on more important things.

Is there anyway he could walk in your shoes for a day or two? Maybe go on Wife Swap! haha! He needs to realise just how much you do, and to help you out more if it bothers him that much.

Answer 3

You're doing fine - He's loosing control and he doesn't like it!

The question is what to do about it. It could be that he needs to be a bigger factor in what happens at home, so you could arrange for him to do some activities with the children such as taking them to the park, swimming or whatever. Another idea is to sit down with him to work out a scheme where he shares the housework with you, or maybe you could pool your money to get a cleaner a couple of times a week to take care of the 'problem areas'.

The thing NOT to do is to be browbeaten. There is an answer and he needs to cooperate in finding it rather than just finding fault.

PS I'd like to know what he contributes or does to help out too.

Answer 4

Well... if he isnt busy ask him to do it nd tell him to shuv a cork up his a**

:)

Im a male but.. yh i have to agree on females on things like this

Answer 5

Well done you !!!!....obviously you've got a lot on, and  managing to be a full time mum of under school age children as well, I sincerely congratulate you.

To me it sounds as if all 'your' commitments in your life are making your husband feel 'left out', and maybe it's time you both sat down not to discuss housework, but more important, what it is you both want from this relationship and what the 'goals'  are in trying to obtain a quality of life for you and your family.

Of course a system of providing a living standard within the home is important, but your relationship together can only flourish when you  'work together'......you really need to communicate more, and sort out a 'rota' that works for the both of you.

best wishes

Caramac x

Answer 6

tell him to do the housework,just lounge around like he does and see if he will get up and do it,and if he does he might take the time to appreciate the hard work and effort you put into it,and might think twice about criticizing you.

Answer 7

Tell him if he doesn't like the way you do the housework then he should get of his lazy **** and do it himself.

Tell him how he is making u feel.

Answer 8

1. Tell him to do it himself.

2. Show him the angry responses to his behaviour on this page

3. Divorce

4. ????

5. PROFIT

Answer 9

just ignore him...your children grow up so fast, its not worth missing time with them to make your house emaculate...I am the same way but I finally told my husband to kiss my *** or get out and I have no job lol God forbid one day something happens to my kids and I think of all the fun I missed by making sure the house was spotless....my husband finally got the point and he is cool with it...like you i make sure the important things are done and the rest can wait for later....if you make money too....hire a girl to come once a week to do the laundry and ironing and organizing while you play with the babies...

Answer 10

You sound like a really nice lady who could do with out a w****r like him.... go and achive your dreams ..... you would be much better with out him .... what have you got to loose

Answer 11

Unfortunately, sometimes men or women do not know a good thing when they see it. Pray that his eyes are opened.

Pray that he sees you and the children as the most valuable asset he ever will have. No amount of money can buy the peace of mind and stability that a loving family can offer.

The most s**y model or most s**y movie star can not give him the happiness, contentment, and peace of mind that you and the children can provide him. Tell him that a guy you met, (me), lost his wife and kids because he did not see the big picture and lost it all.

Perhaps ignore his rants or talk to his Mom or his Dad about him. Or at least get advice from your pastor or 2 or 3 pastors.

Answer 12

Just be like, alright then, I'll tell you what, I won't work anymore. I won't do the housework, I won't look after the kids and I won't buy all the presents. YOU can do it, and let's see how you manage, if you're so good at criticising let's see if you can do it better!!

I bet he'll let you carry on then, and had better shut up unless he's really ignorant.

Keep threatening him with the fact he's making you so unhappy that you'll leave, hopefully that'll shut him up, and tell him to stop being so bloody ungrateful....

Hope things get better for you ! x

Answer 13

Ask him if he'd like to swap places and see what he says.  It annoys me when (men mostly) criticise housework, it may not be 100% perfect but so what?  it sounds to me like he's nit picking.  As long as it's clean, hygenic and you can walk around then what's the problem.  You're both working but you're expected to run the house hold?? In this day&age you shouldn't be expected to do everything, ask him to lift a finger once in a while or if your kids are old enough set out a weekly rota for you all to follow.

Answer 14

Men...some are just butt cramps. I would tell him when he is done with his menses to talk to you....what are you martha Stewart?  Id tell him if he is so good at it then do it your self!

Answer 15

Id tell him if he wants it done his way do it himself and just ignore his stupid comments. Hopefully he will get the idea. Sounds like you are doing a great job for your family!

Answer 16

Marriage is about equality, friendship,love,trust,compromise, and support.

  He should totally respect your determination and motivation to better your household by doing your own business.

  

I would sit down with him and make a list of house chores and children activities. This list should be equally divided between the both of you.

  If he cannot give you the respect of doing this , then you need to think about moving on in your life.

You only get one shot at life, It is totally under your control on whether it is a happy one or not.

  If you cannot make him happy, perhaps he has not been happy for awhile and is already seeking other means of pleasure. Treating you this way to make up for his shortcomings.

Good luck with your situation, and remember good adult communication, and 100% honosty is the key to a good marriage.

Answer 17

Can I enquire what does he do about the house to help.  I was married to a lazy so and so always complaining and never lending a hand.  I couldn't stick him after 10 years so had to leave.  I do hope you can work things out.

Answer 18

Tell him if your way of doing things isn't sufficient enough then he's more than welcomed to take over. He sounds like a complete pig, no offense to you! Does he help you out at all? If not I'd be on him to pitch in more. It's his house as well as yours. Housework is NOT a "women only" job.

Answer 19

Tell him to do the housework himself if he thinks he can do better.  If he pays no attention, stop doing it all together, make him do it himself. Problem solved.  Some people just want to criticize but they never want to actually help out.

Answer 20

It seems that your relationship is going nowhere as he is so lacking in understanding of what your role involves.

Either you go for Marriage Guidance Counselling or you leave!

Deny him any s*x too!

Answer 21

if he is that worried about it tell him 2 do it himself! its not easy being a mum. if your really not happy then my advice is to walk away. you sound like you would do just fine on your own maybe then he will realise what you do for him and the children. no ones perfect and its great you dont cut corners with the kids they are what matter x*x