Husband no respect for family??

Question

I need alittle advice. Im so tired of my husbands disrespect towards my family. He had a pretty rough childhood, physically beaten most of his childhood. Well hes 40, and cant get past it. My family and I are very very close, including the extended family, and the family is huge. When we were dating, he wasn't around them very much. But now that we have a son and are married, hes around alot. He is very rude and disrespectful to them. He says he doesn't care what they think about him. I have talked to him numerous times about it. And he just doesn't see how its respectful to me. I love my family, and before him it was my family. I'm not going to push them away because he doesn't like the whole family thing. Because of his childhood, he hates families, besides his children. He will not show them any respect. He says very rude and hurtful things to them. They think hes the biggest a*****e in the world, because that's all they see of him. Its completely embarrassing and humiliating to me. And he will not let up. He wont get over it. It is so disrespectful to me, and he wont see it. He wont listen. They have been nothing but nice to him, and hes been nothing but rude. I'm completely embarrassed and hurt by it. How do I get it through his head how much hes disrespecting me, our son, and my family. He doesn't think its disrespecting me. But how isn't it? Thats my family, that I love dearly. And because of his childhood, not everybody in the world should have to deal with his anger. Im fed up. What do I do? Do I start blowing him off when there is family functions and not allowing him to come?? How do I get it through to him?? How do I make him realize how direspectful hes being towards me?? Help

Answer 1

Didn't you know his past and his attitude towards families before you married him? As things are now, the only thing to do is fob him off and not include him to family functions. Once he spends, say, Christmas day by himself, he may straighten up. If that doesn't work, nothing will, and you will have to live with this.

Answer 2

I know how you feel! My husband is the same way..at one point it was so bad that i always had to go over their house to see them because he didnt like them and never wanted them coming to the house! Same with my brother..he hates him. But once i got pregnant he started being alright towards my mom. Then she was at the hospital the whole time so they got use to eachother and now its "normal" between them. But he still dreads when my dad comes over. I would just go to family functions by yourself then! Then he can sit there and miss you while your gone

Answer 3

He may have been beaten as a child, but that gives him no right to hate your family. he's probably afraid of being rejected by your family like his family rejected him growing up. or he could have a mental issue he isn't aware of. you might want to get him to a doctor and have him checked out. try this page and compare them to his behavior. if all else fails, you have to leave him. it will make it worse for your family and your child if you keep him around. he could have sociophobia like I do.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dependent_p...

Ta ta,

C.R.

P.S. I wish you the best

Answer 4

Tell him he has to straighten up or lose what he has,  ie: son and wife