Husband says he wants a baby soon but says he will have no empotionat all n even more if doesnt get his boy

Question

my husband says he wnats a baby and is even going and buying a brand now crib, play pen bassinett, etc but he sias he onl,y wants a baby cause he knows i wnat one more and also that he wants a boy to carry his last name since he is the only chance to pass on his last name. he says he will not have any emotion to the baby and that he is not an emotional person. and that if it is a girl he will give her up for adoption and try again for a boy. i dont know how to deal with him. he says that he is there to be a sperm and money donor and not to change diapers feed or any of that. an that he will NOT get up in the middle of the night and will laugh at me when i am in pain having our baby. has anyone else gone through this

Answer 1

Do you want to give a daughter up for adoption?  Do you want to bring a child into this world who will have no bond at all with his or her father?  Do you want to be a--for all intents and purposes--a single parent?  You will need a lot of support, physically, emotionally, and financially from the father of your baby.  You've got a dud, not a dad!

Answer 2

Your husband is so immature i can't even believe it.

I don't know why people care about "passing on their name" -- as if they are the Rockefellers or something?  And your husband won't know the difference after he's dead anyway.   This is some of the most idiotic thinking i've ever heard.

Maybe you could avoid getting pregnant, hon.  I am sorry you're going through this stuff.

If you do want a baby, and he might only if it's a boy, maybe you could go talk with a marriage counselor first so you might find out what his issue is.  It sounds like your husband could use the "help" anyway...

Answer 3

How did you end up with a guy like him ?

Answer 4

That is horrible! I mean he should be happy to get a healthy child. You should talk to him about how rude that is, to be a father he has to help out he can't just stand around watching you in pain! He certainly cannot give up YOUR baby.

Answer 5

As a mother, to even imagine my husband threatening to put my daughter up for adoption is devastating.  Of course, she is absolutely his heart and soul...no less than my son is.  I truly feel that if you are a woman who has the desire and love for a baby, then this is not the right man for you.  Plus, any man who would laugh at their wife's pain during labor is not worth having as a husband.

I just really hope you follow your heart on this one.  

Answer 6

This guy needs to find some doormat woman to bear the fruit of his loins for him, not you.  He has not matured enough to be parent and does not deserve it.  If he has no emotion and wouldn't care at all for a baby, would put a girl up for adoption, then he shouldn't be a parent.  Carrying a last name is a stupid reason to have a child.  It's your DNA that matters more than the name, but even that doesn't matter if a person isn't grown up enough to do anything more than knock you up and buy the necessary equipment.  He will be a terrible father and is probably not a very good husband, either (there's more to it than buying you stuff).

Answer 7

umm seriously, why the h**l is he still your husband? Divorce his sorry a s s!  

Answer 8

Oh my honey dont get pregnant!  dont give in... Im a single mom of 3 and no help dont set ur self up! dont do it! It sounds like he still has some growning up to do!

Answer 9

weird. not normal.  he needs to grow up or you will be raising two babies, not one.

Answer 10

NO HIS ONLY CONSERN SHOULD BE IS HAVING A HEALTHY BABY

Answer 11

I think your both idiots.....And would be best not to breed!

Why would you even stay with a boy like that, he doesn't even deserve to be called a man.  

Answer 12

That sounds so cruel!  Worst case is that he is being honest and you would have to be prepared to raise the baby without him if you decide to get pregnant.   Best case is that this is just a strange way of expressing his fears about fatherhood and that he might come around and love his baby once he sees him/her.  Some men have a hard time attaching to their babies in the abstract, but once the baby is born, everything changes.The fact that he is buying baby furniture is interesting.  Would he do that if he really wasn't emotionally involved at all?  

I think you should try to talk about this some more if you can.  Try to clarify why he is saying these things and what his real feelings are before you make any big decisions. Hope you can work this out.

Answer 13

honestly, i would get a divorce that is terrible.

i probably didn't help much but i think that is a terrible thing.

Best of Luck :]

Answer 14

that is horrible ive never heard such a thing before. do not have a baby with this man, children are a blessing and should not be taken for granted. he has a lot of growing up to do before he even considers having a baby. if you have a baby with this man not only will it be unfair to you but it will be unfair to the baby. a child deserves 2 parents that love him or her and you should not settle for anything less than that, dont make the baby settle for a dad that only wants to be a sperm and money donar what kind of life would your child have with a dad like that.

Answer 15

that Is horrible I would get a divorce is your husband 16 or does he just act like it? I really hope you two do not have a baby sorry to be so blunt but please rethink this!!

Answer 16

I think you need to see a divirce lawyer now.  Get rid of the A**Hole.  He is only thinking of himself and no one else he is a selfish b*****d.  Bye the way he cannot put the baby uop for adoption without your consent.  You need to get away from him now.  In a few weeks  my wife and I will be celebrating 33 wonderful years together and I got up just like her in the middle of the night to change diapers.  My wife even collected breast milk during the day so I couls feed the babies at night.  You need to get away from the guy your with

Answer 17

First off he can't give the baby up with out your permission. Second if he even says that I would divorce him

Answer 18

I definitely do not think you should even entertain the idea of having a baby with this man if that is his attitude.  He doesn't sound as though he will be a good father no matter what the gender of the baby, because he doesn't seem to have a kind and open heart, and he doesn't intend to take equal responsibility in caring for the child.  His reasons for wanting to have a baby are very poor ones.  If you have a baby with him, you will be tied to him for a very long time, and you and your future child(ren) deserve to have someone who will listen to you and care for you.  Please DO NOT bring a child into the world under these circumstances.  The odds are overwhelmingly against any kind of happy ending for you or your family.  Anyone who has grown up with a parent like that can tell you how emotionally devastating it would be.  I am a school counselor at a high school for students with emotional disabilities.  Some of them are emotionally damaged precisely because of growing up in dysfunctional families and enduring neglect or emotional abuse, which is basically what you are describing.

I would strongly suggest that you ask your husband to come with you to see a marriage counselor, and that you use birth control consistently until these issues are fully resolved.  If he refuses, then that says something about the relationship.  Is this how you want to continue to be treated as a wife, and is this the happy family life that you envisioned when you imagined being a mother?  I hope not for your sake.  What he is doing to you is emotional abuse and I'm sorry for the pain it is probably causing you.  Please seek help, at least for yourself.