Husband threatens divorce after 2 months of marriage?

Question

We’ve only been married 2 months. We really never argued that much. When we were engaged I almost felt like he was frightened that we wouldn’t make it to the alter. If we ever had a problem he would always make sure to ask if the wedding was still on. He never ONCE said to cancel the wedding or anything when he got mad. It was the opposite. He would always come back apologizing & asking if I would still marry him.

Now that we’re married we’ve had 2 arguments. The 1st time he said he would leave & we could get an annulment. Yesterday he said he was over it entirely & we can get a divorce.

I don’t know why he was walking on eggshells trying to get to the wedding & now he’s threatening to leave. The arguments were pretty stupid by the way.

I’m going to talk to him in about an hour once I’ve taken a shower & regrouped. What is the best way to let him know that he can’t threaten me like that. I want my marriage to feel safe & secure even if we have a problem here or there. I don’t want to feel like he has one foot out the door all the time.

Answer 1

hon you can't make him stay in the contract if he don't want to . call his bluff, but when you do be ready to except what comes's back maybe he just didn't want to hurt your feelings before he married , i know hon most men are just slow. good luck

Answer 2

that's sad, he needs to grow up, e mail me some time, [e-mail]

Answer 3

When you talk to him tell him how you feel.  Remind him that when you took your vows, you meant them and thought he meant his as well.  I would go on to say if this is how he plans to play it - as in every time you two have a stupid disagreement and he is ready to get a divorce - it is going to stop.

I would be inclined to tell him if it's drama he wants then that is what he gets at least until the divorce is final.  If he is going to threaten you with divorce every time the two of you have a spat, then maybe he isn't the one for you.  That is ridiculous.

Answer 4

I don't  know how old you are your husband are, but actually it is not uncommon to want out of the marriage because of some silly insignificant argument. Trust me when I first got married I told myself to get out over a dozen times. The different is, I never told my wife that.

You need to let him know that he just can't threaten you everytime the marriage hits a bump in the road, if that was the case no one would be married. Sounds to me he has some maturing to do.

Answer 5

Tell him, "Ok, sure, you want it over, then fine. We can get a divorce."

A lot of times, a man will get fearful, when you agree with their threats. Once he calms down, then talk to him rationally. Ask him why he keeps making the threats, yet he wanted the marriage just as much as you did. Ask him if arguing over something small and stupid, is really the excuse for wanting to end something that is suppose to be for a lifetime, only after two months.

Then come to agreements. Write them down if you have to. My husband and I have rules for each other, and they are listed and posted on the refrigerator just like the kids rules are. And we punish each other if we break a rule too. If he breaks a rule then so do. That was our compromise. However, we only made that a compromise because of the rules we have together. So please, go based upon your situation when making the punishment part.

A marriage is a job of it's own, that you HAVE to work at everyday. Being happy is not easy, and especially when only one person is working to make it that way.

You have to listen and talk to each other, and with saying that, that means hearing each other out.

Answer 6

Just so you know, my husband said similar things to me when we first got married. We were both virgins when we got married and had some pretty big expectations about the honeymoon. Let's just say it was really stressful! He would say, "Maybe this whole marriage was a mistake."

Guys don't seem to realize how painful their careless words can be. We've been married now for five years and things are going great for the most part (we have our ups and downs like everyone else). I just wanted you to know that the first whole year of marriage is well known to be one of the hardest.

My mom calls her first year of marriage "The Bloodbath." They've been married for about 15 years now. You learn about each other, communication, conflict resolution as you go, so every year gets a little easier. But there is always something to resolve, that is just how relationships are.

Answer 7

Welcome to marriage(: We spent our first year married fighting, figuring out how to live together, who we were now, how our expectations might not have be reality, etc... and we lived together before marriage. Hang in there, explain how you feel, forgive and love him.

Answer 8

Just tell him he's either wants to be married or not.  He can't be threatening that everytime you two argue or something goes wrong.

    Tell him if he's ready to throw the marriage away every time a problem occurs, you want to know now and that you thought he knew and understood the vows he took. Because the hardest thing to get over is living with someone, friend, roommate or otherwise, relationships take work.

Answer 9

IMO it is best that he leaves now before you do something like buy a hosue or have a kid that will make it much more diffcult to split up. Couples argue all the time; if he can't deal with that just let him go.

Answer 10

That is a techniques for control that is all he wants to control you.  Let him leave...  He will think twice and if he does not think twice then you don't need him.  If I am right letting him go will change it...  Better yet next time he says it pack his **** and put him out.