Husband wants divorce, he cheated and we have a newborn girl.. What can I do?

Question

So yeah.. he cheated.. lied about everything the whole time we have been together.. and sent nude pics of himself to other girls. He asked me for the divorce saying he can't change what he does and he doesnt want the responsibility for our daughter, who he has never seen or held. I am 19 and he is 20. He asked me to marry him after everyone including me told him he doesnt have to. He told everyone he loves me so much and blah blah blah. Now, he wants a divorce.. and im srewed. I need to know what I have to do to get the money he owes me and the money for our daughter. He is in the Navy and will be stationed in san diego in a couple weeks. He is home now. I picked him up at the airport and then he told me. How low is that?! But yeah.. What do I have to do? What should I do? I'm so lost and confused and depressed..

Answer 1

What state are you in?  See a lawyer to see if you should file where you are before you move.

California is a community property state and has good educational benefits.  Run up some debts so he will be half responsible for them.  Child Support and Alimony are found in a chart.  You will be able to take out an alottment against his pay.  The Navy is not going to let him out of paying child support.

Answer 2

his being in the military has zero bearing.  what you will be entitled to is based ENTIRELY on the laws of the state you divorce in.  your child, however will be covered under TRICARE until she is 21( or he gets out of the militray) as long as you get it written into the divorce decree that he is responsible for proving her with medical insurance.   Child support will be up to the local courts.  

No court order for child support,the Navy can do nothing.  

Answer 3

Get a good lawyer.  As crappy as it sounds, you want him involved in someway because the government provides excellent benefits to the children of Veterans, doing this would free you up from worrying about her insurance.

You are right though it was a scumbag move on his part.

Answer 4

1st off, shake off your depression. Don't transfer any of that negative energy to your daughter! All of the love you were wasting on him, turn it around and direct toward your baby. Give him the divorce, move your life forward and make this a learning experience.

As for the money, it's a good thing he's in the military because they will make him pay child support and your daughter will still have medical benefits. He's young and stupid, you're young too but don't be stupid. Keep your daughter first!



BTW, I live in San diego, tell me what he looks like and i'll kick his butt if i see him :)

Answer 5

Sue him for divorce NOW before he leaves the area.  You need to do it so he is served with the divorce papers before he leaves.   If you wait for him to leave for San Diego he can invoke the Soldier's and Sailors' Relief Act and you will be screwed.  

Ask for alimony and child support. Go for the maximum you think you can get.   Most states have a statutory minimum child support that the father has to pay.  When the judge so orders,  you simply present the court order to any military pay office and they will garnish his salary and send you the money.   He will not be able to do a thing about it as it is an official court order.  If he wants to fight it,  he will have to come back from San Diego to do it.  

FILE NOW!!!  Do not wait for him to leave!!

Answer 6

Being that he is in the military can make some difference.  If I were you I would contact the JAG office.  They will start investigating the situation, especially if he used the internet for elicit purpose.  I would also try to contact his commanding officer about the information.  The military will help if you use the correct channels.  Good luck.

Answer 7

This happens to many people in the world. For instance my mom. You should sign the divorce paper and file for child support .  You'r young and stilll have time to go to college. Take out loans and go to school even for twwo years. Karma's a ***** and if everythings in your name your allowed to take everything from him.  Be strong, and stay strong and don't trust every guy that says he loves you. Give yourself and your baby a life. Trust me people kill to go to college in these days u need it or ull end up in a 1 bedroom apartment in the ghetto struggling to get by.  Live with a family member for awhile if you have to take out loans go to college and save all your money.

Answer 8

What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger.

  

Answer 9

Get a good lawyer  

Answer 10

Yes, divorce him and take him for every single penny you can wring out of him!  

Answer 11

You can divorce him and file for child support for your daughter.  I usually don't consent to trying to clean out a service member but he still has a responsibility for your daughter.  He will be forced to pay child support by the military and even if he divorces you and moves into the barracks he will still get partial BAH which will go towards the child support payment.  Your daughter will continue to be eligible for DEERS enrollment and Tricare as long as he is uniform.

DO NOT try to rack up a lot of debts to ruin his credit as revenge before you divorce him.  If they are joint debts it will ruin your credit too and it's possible you can be held legally liable for the debts as well if he disputes them.  Alimony is another story, it depends on the state you divorce him in.

Answer 12

i heard army guys can get in big trouble if they cheat on a spouse and he would get in trouble even if you cheated on him as odd as that sounds, idk but some drunk recruiter told me that in a bar one night. so you can have his balls if you want them, he would get in some sort of trouble like a court marshal and may owe you money.  

Answer 13

Get a lawyer and get him or as much child support you can possibly get.  Don't back down one iota...His mistake, he needs to man up.  Think about the future of your child...not just wanting to get over the present pain.