Husband with another family outside! what should i do?

Question

well i figure this out about 2 years ago that my husband has another family outside and when i look through his cell phone he constantly called the number of the mistress i know because of "extreme" research. what should i do now and i have two kids. but they agree with getting a divorce should i do it? what should i do now?

Answer 1

This man sounds like a very untrustworthy individual. I feel sorry for both you and the other woman because he probably told her all sorts of lies to get her in the situation she's in, just like he lied to you. If you want to divorce him, I wouldn't blame you a bit. I couldn't be with someone I couldn't trust. Only you know what you can live with and what you can't.  

Answer 2

Does his mistress know about you and the kids?  If they've been together for 2 years, she probably does.  Start by making sure all your ducks are in a row.  Have an open discussion about finances, including your investment activity.  Then privately look at your finances.  Can you afford the house by yourself, or will you have to downsize?  

Go see a lawyer.  Have them fill out all the proper paperwork, but don't file it just yet.  Take a day off of work, pack all his clothes, change the locks to the house and have a large number of family and friends there to protect you when he gets home.  Give him his copy of the divorce paperwork, and tell him he can go stay with his girlfriend.  

I'm usually an advocate of making the divorce simple and uncomplicated and to not fight for stuff, but take this man's *** to the cleaners.  If you can clean out investment accounts, clean out the bank account or whatever- do it.  He can leave with nothing but his clothes.  He can get the rest of his stuff later.  You'll be happy to pack it up for him.

Don't be cruel, or vindictive- but don't let this go on.

Answer 3

The fact that you have lived with a man who you know to have an outside relationship that has resulted in a family concerns me. Is he married to this woman, because you said they agreed on a divorce? What is it?

Either way, you should decide if he really means so much to you that you would allow him to stray like this. If your answer is yes,then you have to accept that he will probably never respect or be faithful to you. If your answer is no, then get the h**l out of there and cut him off!

Answer 4

Another family outside - your town? The state? The country?

Has he 'married' her? Is he a bigamist? Does she know about you?

Your wording is unclear - did you mean you have discussed this with your children and they agree that you should get a divorce?

Could you live with sharing him? Can you forgive him for the lies? Do you want to carry on as if nothing has happened and you know nothing? Or do you want to, not rock the boat, but blow it out of the water? Knowledge is power and if he doesn't know that you know, then you are the one with the power right now.  

Answer 5

1.  Get a counselor and one for your children as well, this must be devastating news for all of you.

2.  Get an attorney

3.  Make sure you and your children are protected and that your marriage is even valid - did he marry you, or her first?  That would be one of the first things I want to find out about.

4.  Confront him - he needs to choose between families.

Answer 6

Sweetie, he's not YOUR husband if he's sleeping around. my thing is if the kids give you consent to divorce, do it! why would you want to stay with someone like that???? I don't get it!

Answer 7

LEAVE HIM

Does she have kids too? You cant let him do that to you! If you take it your kids will end up thinking its ok!  

Answer 8

I bet he changes his tune when the money starts walking and she freaks out when his money starts walking...

Forget what the kids say, do what you need to do.

Answer 9

Holy c**p, divorce him, now.  

Answer 10

I agree with everybody here, LEAVE, LEAVE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!!!

Listen, what stops most women from leaving their husband when they're cheating is the kids... But yours have already agreed that divorcing him is the right thing to do, so you have green light, go ahead and move on to a better life!

If the other woman wants that scumbag so bad, let her have him! Anyway, what she's getting is not a great husband, but a great CHEATER.

Sue his ***, get a lot of proofs about his mistress and get good child support. I would take everything away from that *sshole if I was you!

Stay strong!

Answer 11

Get a divorce and move on with your life.

Answer 12

Have you spoke with him about the situation? If not you should. Divorce him and let him be with the other family sounds like that is where he wants to be. Your kids seem to know what needs to be done. Listen to them and leave him.