Husband wont work, but cleans the house is this wrong, as we have no money?

Question

He hasnt had a job now for two years, we have two kids aged 4 & 6 and I look after them. I cant get a job as I have no family or friends to help with looking after them for me. He has had jobs before, but chucked them in and is content with claiming benefits, which makes me feel like scum. He has worked at a bar some evenings for pocket cash, but I found texts on his phone to one of his female work colleagues, nothing too bad, but he shouldnt be texting her all the same? My little boy and girl dont know what daddy does as a job, its embarrasing as we live in a small village and no-one knows we are claiming, and Im fed up with lying about what work he doesnt do! Please help anyone!!!!

Answer 1

First...  if he wants to stay home, why cant you get a job and he watch the kids?

Second, texting friends is just texting friends.  Do you seriously expect your husband to never speak to another female again?

Third...  there is nothing wrong with working in a bar, but there is something wrong with working under the table while claiming benefits.

Basically, you need to make some decisions.  You clearly are unhappy living the way you are.  Its time you as a family sit down and agree to either change, or seperate.

Answer 2

Tell him that you do not want a house husband.  Tell him that it is time for him to go to work, or you will find a man that will.  Tell him that if you leave him, he will have to go to work anyway to pay child support, or he will sit in jail for not paying.

Answer 3

1. marriage councelling

2. maybe let him raise the kids for a bit and you get a job? then he will appriate working more and would be willing to swap for the original agreement?

3. pray.....he shouldnot be txting women period, unless it it a relative.

4. be ready to get a lawyer if he doesnt shape up..... tho, also consider, maybe he is depressed. I'd hate to see a marriage thrown away b/c depression was never considered...

Answer 4

I dont understand why you dont go out and get a job?? If he is going to be lazy and do nothing than he can watch the kids and be home with them all day.. you can go out and get a job. I mean ya he should be out there looking.. and you really need to talk to him about that.. if not i would leave his *** for being so d**n lazy and not even trying to support his family.. but ur best bet.. make him watch the kids and do the house work all day and you go out and get the mula...

Answer 5

Ok I read about 2 lines of that, you say you dont have anyone to watch your kids but your husband is home all day? Come on now, if your husband is not going to work, then hes going to do something. Tell your husband straight, "im going to look for a job to support us so watch the d**n kids." thats all you have to do. There are a lot of different jobs for you to do and yes you would have to start at the bottom, but you need to woman up and take care of your family. Get two jobs, work them both, and move on with life. If your husband continues to be a loser, get a divorce. I would never stay married to a man who is capable of working yet "doesnt want to" good luck!

Answer 6

Personally, I would tell the hubby that he at minimum needs to take care of the kids while you work and take care of the house or I'd kick him to the curb.  

It's not fair to you or your children and quite frankly you should be able to work if he's home.  There just really is no reason for both parents to not have a job.  

My adivce to you is to tell him things are going to change and he either needs to step up or step out.

Answer 7

put your foot down .. it a job or you .. dont let him win ..  

Answer 8

You could take advantage of the opportunity and better yourself by getting back into school or just taking a course to get you a better job.

You don't need to hire a babysitter.  It seems like you've already got one. Get yourself ahead. Do it for yourself and your children. Once you've gotten your education, then you decide how high the frog should jump.

Answer 9

Waiting for him to get a job is going to cost you. If he is home mostly, perhaps you could go out to work. If you can't trust him to look after your kids, then get help from neighbours, siblings or anyone you can trust who understands your situation.

Good luck.  

Answer 10

if he likes cleaning, he should start his own business cleaning houses.. :D

Answer 11

Many people have no family to look after their children. DAYCARE. My parents put me in daycare and preschool because they were both hard workers. It was fun for me! If your husband can't get a job or won't and you want to, why can't he keep the kids at home with him when you go to work?

Answer 12

Of course you're tired of money problems. Do you want to go on like this forever? Get qualified (go to college) for a new profession (your on benefits anyway) and get out! Don't you want your children to see a man (their father) take pride in supporting his family? I know you want better for your children, so do it!!

p.s. You should care who he's texting because he isn't even giving your family 100% attention (to their needs) so why give anyone else any?

Answer 13

The guy needs to provide for his family and that's that! He's also setting a poor example to his children by not working on a regular basis. Tell him your not content with the way of life your living and steer him to the classified adds in the newspaper if you have to.