Husbands; why don't you have any feelings?

Question

My husband chooses to work over seas. He only talks about money or the bills, he completly ignores the fact that I'm a woman with feelings and needs, is somebody else getting all the sweet talk? Why does he treat me like a buddy? I need to talk about my feelings and our relationship.

Answer 1

The only way you can know the truth is by talking it over with him. I think it's better to know the truth than wondering what's going on. Express to him how this situation makes you feel. Talk to him...

Answer 2

First, let's spilt your question in two

"Why does my husband have no feelings for me?"

As presented, you paint all husbands are some kind of robotic automatons, interested only in making money and getting ahead at the expense of everything else. Not true overall, OK?

I am sorry you are in that situation; as I husband, I find myself in a similar situation, with a wife who feels that I am not much more than a piece of furniture.

Second, you now have to make decisions. Yes, it is hard to speak with a person who is not there. i suggest therapy or counseling to at least help you to be a stronger person emotionally. You need to grow and, perhaps, decide that this life is not for you

Answer 3

Maybe he was always the practical type, and not too romantic. Some guys act romantic to get the woman and then stop. Ask him what's going on bc you feel lonely. Is there any way to see him more often? Try to draw him out and talk to you. Keep up w/your counseling too.

Answer 4

my question is:  Why are you asking us and not him?  You need to stand up for yourself and demand that your needs be met. Men have to be taught.  They don't understand our needs at all.

Good luck.

Answer 5

Yes we have feelings, but often feel it's best to keep them in check and focus on the logical course of action.  

In your husbands case he's working over seas to make probably some really good money and trying to keep up with the bills and get ahead to build a better life for the both of you.  That is his goal, what good does it do for him to think about how much he misses you and how much he would like things to be different.  Dwelling on those thoughts would only deter him from doing what he knows he has to in order to eventually be able to come home and have the life that he is trying so hard to build for the both of you.

Quite honestly your going to find that the issue is he's not talking about the relationship the way that you feel he should be talking about the relationship.  In his mind when he is talking about the bills and money, he is talking about the relationship.  I can tell you as a man, that everything he is doing is motivated by trying to make you happy, and provide you with the life that he believes you deserve and putting his all in to that goal.

Problem is women don't understand this, they think that unless a man is telling them constantly oh i want to do this with you or that with you.  Or i want to do this and that to you, etc etc that the guy isn't interested and doesn't think about them.  

Men have one track minds, we pick one goal at a time and work towards it.  We don't multi-task it is near impossible for us to focus on more then one goal at a time and moving on to the next goal before the first one is completed is detrimental to our plans.

Answer 6

Why did you marry such an asss?  

My husband is great...sweet, caring, home by 5:00, helps with the dishes, laundry and other house work.  We have no children so no worries there yet.  But I have seen him work with all ages of children and he does great.  But he's also still a "guys guy" and can hang with the boys.

Answer 7

Sometimes i wish my man would just talk to me like a "buddy", not like oh your my woman i have to say these things but like a real friend just talking...  I guess the grass isn't greener on the other side!!

Answer 8

Marilyn, after reading your mean answer to one of my questions,  that made me feel worse, I read the questions you posted. Along with this one - you seem miserable!  It sounds like your husband doesn't treat you the way you want or deserve to be treated.  Don't you deserve to be happy?   With him working overseas it's like you're not married anyway - divorce him and try to find someone who will love and respect you.  I'm so sick of hearing about people staying in unhappy marriages!!  You only live once - why be unhappy?

Answer 9

Women are opposites of men in almost every way. Men and women weren't created to understand each other, but to love each other. So why should a man who is opposite of a women, have women characteristics. If you want someone emotionally on you level talk to your female friend or get married to a L*****n.

Answer 10

Are you the type of woman who wants money or love?

Did you make money the issue in the relationship? If you did then working to please you is what he may be doing

but this is dumb lol!

Maybe he wants to get away or dump you but dont have the guts. talk to him asap!

Answer 11

women why don't you think rationaly? your hubby doesn't know what to talk about because he is a GUY...i am a guy..this is the way i talk with my wife...its hard to think like a woman...he is not sweet talking anyone else...he just doesn't know how to be emotional...

i am trying to be better for my wife but it doesn't make sense to me...its something i am working on...you should talk with your hubby about it...but don't expect a huge or sudden change...instead notice attempts...don't nag that it wasn't good enough when he tries

Answer 12

As a hubby, I had the chance to work out of town, But never did cause One I would miss my wife, 2nd I don't want to see her lonely,  Many men don't like to open up or share their feelings, I've had people tell me you can't live on love, But I believe it's true you have to work, but with out love, you would truly not be happy, Everyone needs someone sometimes. And yes you being a woman, you need someone to hold you and listen to you, talk about your hopes, dreams, and little things like that, Tell your hubby you need more of him..