I'd like a new way of looking at this?

Question

I'm know that this is probably childish but I'm still curious enough to ask. My older sibling is not someone I appreciate and has nothing I want. I thought this would make me feel good when I first realized it but something still wasn't right. So I thought about it and figured it out. This person has nothing I want except for myself. Ever since I can remember this person has been able to follow me to places with my friends, impose on my space and boss me around. I have felt like this person is treating me like they have a right to me just because I'm their younger sibling and they could get away with it. It's a scary thought when what you want to get rid of to make someone leave you alone is yourself. I didn't feel that it was fair that I had to be myself in relation to this person. Again, I'm aware this is probably a childish issue and will get better when I can have my own place. But until then how can I view this in a better way? I'm hoping an outsider's perspective will help.

Thank you for your thoughts.

Answer 1

Siblings can be a pain, don't think I don't agree with that; but I believe that God puts us in places that we don't understand, but are probably for our own good.  I know, you're probably thinking "my own good?!  He/she drives me crazy!"  People like that are what I like to call "Grace Growers".  Someone like that who is in your life can exercise your Patience and eventually make it grow stronger.  You can take this experience and learn from it, and practice patience, and practice unconditional love, or you can waste it in anger.  If you had absolutely no one early in your life that tried your patience, you would break down on you first encounter with, say, a mean boss.

Also, your sibling should know if you are this bothered by him/her.  I'm not saying you should walk up to him/her and start yelling and pouring out all your bottled up hurt; but tell him/her how you feel in an open-minded and respectful way (you may be also unknowingly bothering or hurting him/her).  You may just blow their mind if you approach them this way.

I do not think what you said was childish and I will definitely be praying for you. ; )

Answer 2

well, have you tried talking to your sibling? it seems that maybe he/she is unaware that they are disrespecting you.

i think that since your sibling is older, you should try talking to them and explain how this is making you feel. it isn't good that you don't respect this person and that you feel such anger towards them. if he/she just left you alone and let you experience life, you would have a lot more respect for this person.

maybe you could talk to a parent or aunt/uncle or someone else in your family about it. since they know both you and your sibling, they may have some better advice.

i would definitely recommend talking to someone about it, preferably your sibling. but if you think that would just make things worse, explain to a close relative that you feel like you need more space and distance from your sibling, and that he/she is not allowing you to be your own person. (hanging out with your friends and bossing you around is NOT what an older sibling is supposed to do. i have one younger brother, and i am protective of him in certain situations, but I by no means try to control his life or follow him around)

Good luck!

Answer 3

this is a normal interaction between two sibblings in close ages and for you as a younger sister. don't panic and talk to your older sibling about your ideas, limitations, rules and privacy. you may find talking to your older sibling awkward but it's the best way to solve your problem. you are younger and being asked for something by your older sibling is normal but, not always and the intensity of the task should be on your capabilities.

Answer 4

Just wondering if this person is jealous of you for having the strength of character to be your own person and is trying to learn from you how to be that way themselves.