I'd like to take my husband's last name without dropping my own, resulting in a huge mouthful- please help!

Question

I will be getting married next month- everything is settled except one issue. I haven't yet decided for sure whether I'll be taking my husband's last name or not.

My problem lies in that my full maiden name is Gemma-Charlotte Katherine Harper-Jonesburg. As I'm sure you can notice, my parents liked hyphens.

I'd definitely like to keep my maiden name, as I'm an elementary school teacher already known by my name (Ms. Harper-Jonesburg), but I'm traditional and I'd like to take my husband's name as well. This would also apply to any future children, as I'd like them to have both our names (and he agrees fully). Again, though, I'm just not sure of how well Gemma-Charlotte Katherine Harper-Jonesburg-Lee works, and in addition, I teach third grade, and "Mrs. Harper-Jonesburg-Lee" is just too much of a mouthful for the poor things to pronounce. I go by Gemma, but I'd also still like to keep Charlotte and Katherine as well, mouthful as they might be.

What are your suggestions?

Answer 1

just add Lee on, it is only 3 more letters, and tell the kids they can call you one of the 3 names.

Answer 2

If keeping your maiden name is that important to you than go ahead and do it legaly, but have your students just call you Mrs Lee.

Answer 3

You're having doubts about your name because you're worried about some school children having a mouthful.

Don't worry about it, you choose what you feel is right.

Answer 4

Ms H.J.Lee perhaps?

Answer 5

women who take their husbands name have no self esteem.  you already got a name...why on earth would you devalue yourself by using his?

Answer 6

Well I think you should drop the hyphen on your forename, making you

Gemma (Charlotte Katherine) Harper-Jonesburg.

I don't think you need to drop either Charlotte or Katherine, as you hardly ever use your middle names.

Then I think you should drop your mother's maiden name from your surname, replacing it with Lee. If you wanted to keep either Harper or Jonesburg, create another middle name, making you

Gemma (Charlotte Katherine Harper) Jonesburg-Lee

or

Gemma (Charlotte Katherine Jonesburg) Harper-Lee

So your initials would be a lot to remember (GCKHJ-L, or GCKJH-L), but you get all your names in.

So as to keep your children from the same dilemma, I would let them go by Lee as their surname.

I hope this helps!

PS- You're not the only one... at school I had a friend with the initials LMAR-P, and all of her names were at least 7 letters long!

Answer 7

I would legally change your name to Gemma-Charlotte Katherine Harper-Jonesburg-Lee, but just have the students call you Mrs. Lee. That is way too much for them to have to deal with if it's any more difficult than that! After a few years and new faces, everyone will be used to calling you Mrs. Lee.

Answer 8

as much as you love your maiden name, you should stick with changing your last name to your husbands.  Gemma-Charlotte Katherine Lee sounds a LOT better (and isn't so much to say).  As for your kids, give them your husbands last name also.  Some people like to give the maiden names as middle names to their kids, so maybe Harper and Jones is something you could work into a nice suitable name for a child?

Answer 9

Be known by Mrs. Lee! it will be a new year!

and as for the harper-jonesburg part... make that part of your middle name.

so you will be Gemma-Charlotte Katherine Harper-Jonesburg Lee aka Mrs. Lee

Answer 10

Just make things simple and take his name. The students will adjust. Gemma-Charlotte Lee is a million times better than Gemma-Charlotte Katherine Harper-Jonesburg-Lee. And your kids will appreciate their last name being "Lee" as opposed to Harper-Jonesburg-Lee. C'mon, that's just ridiculous!

Answer 11

Gemma-Charlotte Lee sounds great!  In thrid grade I remember my teacher got married halfway through the year.  She changed her last name and all of us caught on right away.

Answer 12

This would be why it's a bad idea to give your kids hyphenated surnames - because it effectively takes away their ability to do the same for their kids.

I wouldn't triple-hypenate. Too long and complicated. You can keep your name, take your husband's, or do a combination. Harper-Lee would be odd (I hope a teacher would know why), but Jonesburg-Lee would work. You could keep the other bit as an extra middle name.

If I were you I'd give your future kids just Lee as a surname, and your surname(s) as a middle name. That way when they marry they can do the same thing for themselves and their kids.

Answer 13

take your husbands last name but continue to use your name as it is professionally.for checking etc. just use the name you are called and your husbands last name only.many couples do this type of thing.that is why the phrase "also known as "or aka is for.good luck and congratulations!!

Answer 14

Some others may have suggested this, but I had a 4th grade teacher who had a hyphenated last name, and we used her initials.  Mrs. HJL?  haha, I don't know, the kids may find it fun.

Or you could stick with Harper-Jonesburg in school and use either Mrs. Lee or Mrs. Harper-Jonesburg-Lee outside of work.

You could also consider using you maiden name as a future child's middle name, although that would be a little bit of a mouthful , too.

I hope you find something that works for you, let us know.  I've always thought that when I get married, I won't want to drop my maiden name either.

Congratulations on your wedding, best of luck!

Answer 15

I think hyphenated names are silly. Be a woman and either keep your maiden name or take his. Stop being so wishywashy.

Answer 16

Your just lucky his last name is not as long. Lol. Add his name to yours...go with your first instinct. It sounds just fine! And it will be great for the kids...they will definetly remember you!

Good luck and Congrats!