I'd like your thoughts/experiences on a second child after scary first pregnancy?

Question

I had a very routine pregnancy.

However, a week after delivery, I developed postpartum hypertension and almost got extremely sick. Like I almost had a stroke. The whole experience has scared the h**l out of me...I'm 11 weeks pp now and still on blood pressure medications. It wasn't preeclampsia, but I know existant bp conditions put you at risk for developing it...while I was going through everything weeks ago I remember thinking "if I would have known this was going to happen..."(I know its ounds terrible, I love my daughter but it's hard not to think that way when you think you may die). So why would I put myself at risk again? I want another child I'm just terrified. Has anyone had a difficult pregnancy/postpartum period and gone on to get pregnant again or decided one was enough?

Answer 1

Yeah, it was scary at first,  I didn't know how to love 2 people equally, but it is a different experience.  And yes, even though you already love your first child to death, you'll have room for as many more that you have. You'll love the dfferent personalities, and you'll be shocked once you realize it.

Answer 2

If you wait a couple of years you will forget how awful it was, most likely! I did, a couple times!

Answer 3

Its usually a lot easier the second time around because you and the doctors are aware of the complications that happened during your first pregnancy.  If you want another child I would say go for it because this time you'll be intensly observed and any complications will be caught and treated immediately before they escalate to where you're terrified.

Answer 4

I had a bad experice with the 1st in 2006 my daughter was still born at 37.5 weeks due to a cord knot (very rare to cause death now a days they can catch it save the baby but in my case it was just too late). I tried to have another baby and had 3 m/c's went to a ferility Dr. for treament my cycle was just messed up I got preg. right away and I was afraid the whole time I was convenced it would happen again even with weekly ultra sounds they even looked for the cord this time to make sure it was not around the baby's neck. I had non-stress test 2 times a week from 30 weeks till I delievered they even gave me steriod shots and delivered me at 36 weeks along to make sure nothing would go wrong I was induced to make sure they could controll my labor and 12 hours later my son was born 6lbs 12oz and breathing fine did not need to go to the nic u or anything we took him home 1 day later and he's 7 months old today and I'm 5 weeks along with another baby ( i know!) Maybe try talking to your Dr. to find what preventitive measures he can take. I talked over my preg. plan with my Dr. he told me that he would offer me as much monitoring as I needed to feel comforatble (sometimes I would just call and come in if I felt like I needed to). Also may try going with a high risk OB they understand how crazy and worried moms who have had hard pregnancy's can be and they don't make you feel dumb they know you need more reasurance because your high risk and all the nurse and staff will be extremly supportive to you and your family because they only see high risk moms.

Answer 5

Ah, I had one of those.  My first was gestational diabetes, pre-eclampsia, a god awful labor and delivery.  After 3 hours of pushing I ended up with a c-section on top of him being born 4 1/2 weeks early.  He's had some difficulties thanks to the birth trauma and here's the kicker: I got a staph infection from the c-section and ended up back in the hospital for a few days.  

I still did it again, lol.  This time was even more complications, 2 months of bedrest, preterm labor (a week in the hospital with that basically) and then he was still born 7 weeks early.  He spent 4 weeks in NICU.  

Hubby says no more.  I say just one more.  I always thought we'd have 4 and although I love my 2 bubs more than anything, I know I can handle it just one more time.........someday, lol.

Answer 6

I would give my life for my children, so I absolutely think it is worth it to try again.  It is a very difficult experience, but it is SO worth it.

Answer 7

honestly I don't think there is anything wrong with what you are feeling or worrying about.  It would, I assumem be very normal to be that concerned after something so tramatic happening.  I didn't have REALLY bad first two pregnancies..by my current pregnancy is very difficult and honestly kinda scary.  I am only 12 weeks and worry about being able to make it to the end and still be well enough to take care of my two kids that I already have.  My husband and I have talked about whether we want to stop here and have this be our last and my answer is absolutely YES.  I realize this is a different situation..but if my first pregnancy had been like this one I am not sure I would have gotten pregnant again.  I would say don't worry about it for now..give yourself time to recover and then talk with your doctors about what makes sense for your health.  Have you considered adoption if having another child is something you would really like?

Answer 8

Put your mind at ease.  In 2004, I did have a stroke due to stress and the Pill.  I was 30 years old, had no children.  It was advised that I not have children as I had a blood disorder that would cause clots due to the hormones involved, putting me at risk for a fatal stroke (not just symptoms that cleared up in two weeks).  In 2006 I was told that I could get pregnant if I agreed to the follow exactly what the doctors and hospital would advise me to do.

This included lots of medical / medecine changes, doctor appointments every week, time off work, an induced labor and an emergency c-section  and other post-delivery complications.  

Today I have a beautiful five month old baby girl.  The beginning of the pregnancy was stressful (after several miscarriages).  But sometime during the pregnancy I forgot about what *might* happen and started living in the present.  It might take you a few years to forget about what happened and start living again.  Make sure you really want another baby.  If not, it will be more of a burden than a joy.