I'll always be his little girl...why can't I be his little girl who dates?

Question

I'm 15 and it's just me and my dad(My mom left years ago). We're really close. He always said he'd support me. But now he's not.

I baby-sit and my charge's older brother asked me out for coffee last week. We did and we have an awesome connection! He's my first boyfriend, so it was a really big deal to me. And to my dad too.

When I told my dad about him he immeaditly said "Your too young." and I said "I'm fifteen. I get good grades and he's really nice. He doesn't pressure me." My dad was quiet and then said "I want to meet him." So they did. And my boyfriend was polite and kind, and then when he kissed me, my dad flipped and sent him home.

My dad is SO overprotective of me and I know it hurts to see his little girl grow up. But I'm fifteen, not five. If I talk to him about boys he'll say "Your too young!".

Please help! I love my Dad and I'm greatful to have him in my life and I'm glad he raised me, but how can I prove to him I'll always be his little girl, I'll just be his little girl that dates? I would never do anything irresponsible like have s*x, I'm trust worthy, I'm a good teenager.

HELP!

PS: I put this in Grade Schooler because I'm a teenager.

Answer 1

my dad used to be like that with my sister but she ended up moving in with the guy , now married for 4 years

Answer 2

every teenager says stuff like that.. he probably does know that youre responsible and dont have any wacky intentions but young hormones dont always control situations like boys very well.. he only wants whats best for you and while he cant control every aspect of your life, he probably hopes that he can advise you to stay away, stay unimpregnated, and stay his little girl just a little while longer before some jerk comes and takes your virginity and tramples all over your heart.

Answer 3

You're 15, in my house that's not dating age.  I agree with your dad.  

Answer 4

Aw, that is kind of cute!!

Your dad is probably just sad that you are growing up. Its a fact. He knows that once you start dating...then comes going out, then comes getting engaged then comes marriage, mortgage, babies and everything. He is probably just trying to hold on to the little girl he remembers. Its a tough thing for dads to have to watch their daughter grow up, especially when there is no mom involved.

Take it easy on your dad. Maybe sit down with him and work out a system that you can earn more trust as you go. When I was 15, I worked it out with my parents that the more I did things right (come home on curfew, do my school work ect) I'd get more time added to my curfew. I had a curfew of 2am by the time i was 16 because my parents knew that I was a responsible kid and I could be trusted.

So like I said, take it easy on your pops. It wont be long before you are having this conversation with your son/daughter. It seems by your post that you are a reasonable and well-mannered girl...use that to your advantage.

Answer 5

Urrm, why did you put this in grade schooler and adolecent?

Ask him if its any differnce when you kiss him, hes even older.

Answer 6

Well he doesn't want to see his little girl grow up. He may not have trust issues, but he definetly care for you. He just doesn't want you to break up with a guy and feel bad.

Answer 7

While I agree that your father is being a little stubborn about letting his little girl grow up your boyfriend was a bit out of line kissing you in front of him. You may be excited to show your father just how happy you are with your boyfriend but it's disrespectful to display those affections in front of your father. Holding hands and hugging are one thing but kissing is something that is best saved for a more proper time.

You can't expect your father to adjust over night. Watching you grow into a young adult is a bit painful for him I assume and given that your mother is not in the picture your father will try to keep you safe and close to him  as long as possible. My suggestion is that you approach the situation as an adult so to show him that you are in fact old enough to date. Prove to him that you can make the right decision without his guidance and that dating doesn't have to mean the end of the father-daughter bond you two share. If you can gain his trust and his confidence that you can and will make the right choices he will eventually become more comfortable with allowing you to date.

Take it slow, respect his opinion and ask him to respect yours.  

Answer 8

hes a dad im sorry. maybe you should sit him down and tell him what you told us

Answer 9

i am like that too i hate u just have to wait

Answer 10

Dad's are almost always protective over their daughters. Especially in a case such as yours. The best thing you can do is talk to him and both of you get your concerns out on the table and reassure him that you are not going to do anything stupid, and stick to your words.