I'll give you points if could you please correct my grammar?

Question

The relevant symptoms are to check their appearance in front of the mirror frequently, overly concern about others when they think of or look at his or her defect appearance, and regard their "defect" with embarrassment and loathing. For example, Mary constantly checks her b*****s in front of her mirror with believing that it's defect part of her body. She attempts to cover up the "defect" by adding tissues in her bra to make them seem bigger, and she considers undergoing a plastic surgery. This belief significantly causes her to be left out because many of her friends wear B and C cup sizes, not A-cup size like what she wears. She feels this "flaws" interfere with her ability to function at social events. Many of her friends have dated with more than four boys at school, and she has only dated one; but that lasted only for three days.

Answer 1

The relevant symptoms are: checking their appearance frequently in front of a mirror, concern about what others may see as a defect in personal appearance, regarding what they perceive as a "defect" with embarrassment and self-loathing. For example, Mary continually checks her b*****s before her mirror in the belief that her b*****s are her "defect." Attempting to conceal the perceived "defect," Mary stuffs tissue in her bra and considers possible plastic surgery. She feels insecure about her A-cup size when many of her friends wear B and C cups. Mary sees what she thinks of as a flaw in her appearance as limiting her social interactions.

She thinks that this characteristic accounts for her relative lack of success in dating when she compares herself to her peers.

Answer 2

The relevant symptoms are: to check their appearance in front of the mirror frequently, be overly concerned about  what others think of when looking at his/her defective appearance, and regard their "defect" with embarrassment and loathing. For example, Mary constantly checks her b*****s in front of her mirror in belief that it is the defect part of her body. She attempts to cover up the "defect" by adding tissues in her bra to make them seem bigger and she considers undergoing plastic surgery. This belief significantly causes her to be left out because many of her friends wear B and C cup sizes, not A-cup like she wears. She feels this "flaw" interferes with her ability to function at social events. Many of her friends have dated with more than four boys at school, but she has only dated one that lasted for only three days.