I'm 11 week preg and my boyfriend dont want to deal with me

Question

we were both excited about having a baby and he told me everythings going to be fine well everything was fine for the first two months now we fight cause everything he has promise me he was going to do like get a house get a job he hasnt even made in attep at all too do it he sleeps all day and stays up all night with his friends . he dont ever hug or kiss on me any more and just comes too see me for like 3 hours and goes back home or whatever . soo now everyday im mad at him we cant get along and thats why and he acts like it not a big deal . soo today he told me this wasnt going to work cause we cant get along . soo now my heart is broke . and i did try many times before to talk to him ab whats been buging me and upseting me but he acts like its just me . soo now im alone scared and just dont know why he walk away from this. when he has told me many times hes not going any where. =(

Answer 1

it's not your fault. the duration of pregnancy can be a very emotional time, and no matter what, your boyfriend should have been there, supporting you. it seems like he doesn't want to take the responsibility for your child.

there are many men out there who WILL care for you and raise your baby with you :) just be patient and things will flow right into place :) as for now, relax, and just think about all the people you have around you who will help and support you.

Answer 2

Sounds like you got impregnated by the wrong guy. Maybe you should have known more about him before you got knocked up. Likely he will not be around much in the future either. He is not ready to be a boy friend let alone a dad.

Minimize your damages and move on... you deserve someone that truly cares.

Answer 3

Thats just life...you need to hit the "DEAL" button soon.

Answer 4

well its nobodys fault except his. He should be a man and deal with the child. I dont think he has to be with you, but he should help take care of the baby and be a father, its as much his responibilty as it is yours. Now if your wondering whos fault it was that broke up, i think it was his as long as what  you said was true. It also seems as if he didnt want to take care of his respondility like working to have money for the child and you. You shouldn't of trusted him so easy and mabye you wouldn't have to dealt with this, but still good luck and hang in their, it may be hard but you cant give up.

Answer 5

since you are asking in the adolescent section.. Im going to assume that both you and your bf are teenagers.

In all reality..  he may be able to pick up a part time min wage job..  but its next to impossible for a teen to get a house.  Many adults cant even get a loan for a home.

There's things he could and should be doing..  but in all truth, he's young and wasnt as ready to be a father as he though he'd be.  Reality of what parenthood is like has probably set in, and he's scared too.

Its not your fault.  He's just as responsible for this life, he needs to get off his butt and take that responsability.

Your best bet is to forget about him..  you have your family.  Talk to legal aid to see if you can take him to court for child support tho.. he owes you at least that much.

Answer 6

well sounds like this bf is a jerk so no not ur fault if he can't help u out then why should he even say that he will ur better off without him anyway  

Answer 7

NO, it's not your fault. It always takes two. I don't think you want this kind of relationship and you are probably not well suited for each other. I wouldn't expect him to change.  

Answer 8

Oh baby... It is a hard thing to deal with. You need to find the strength in yourself somehow, you have this baby and from now on you need to find a way to survive for the two of you. You can't rely on someone else for your stability or your safety or your happiness, you have to make it your own. There is a reason why we should wait to have our children at a later time, when things are more right. But that doesn't change a thing about what has happened. And this child? Will be the biggest blessing in your life and the best thing you will have ever done , if you let it. Don't rely on a man baby, there are a few good ones out there but few and far between. This time in your life will either make you or break you. Make it! I speak from complete and total experience.  

Answer 9

You sound very happy to be expecting a child, how old are you?

This guy doesn't sound like he's worth caring about, but he might get a smack in the face and realise that maybe he is being a twit...

Personally, I'd say its more his fault, if he can't handle this then maybe you should look for someone else who will care enough to stick around for both you and your child.  At the end of the day.. its his loss.  Just think of everything he'll be missing out on that you'll look forward to and enjoy.  =]

I don't know my dad, I'm 17 got quite alot to say for myself, but my Mum has a great boyfriend thats stuck around for 4 years and has gotta be the best guy I've ever known considering his mates all said "he doesn't do kids very well..." and my mum loves the guy to bits.

So thats just a bit of reassurance to show you that there are guys that care and will be with the person they love even if that does mean theres a package to take on.

Answer 10

Its not your fault! you didnt get pregnant by your self.. he is probably stressing that he is going to have a baby come into the world.. He probably wants to make sure that you are both taken care of well enough so that he doesnt dissapoint you..

sometimes the reality of having a baby is hard..even for us girls who have to carry the baby.. we go through the same altho our hormones are going crazy we tend to be a little more emotional..

try having a talk with him.. tell him how you are feeling.. ask him how he is feeling.. tell him you want him to share this experience with you..

Answer 11

No.....if he wants to be a twit, then you are better off without a dead beat boyfriend and your baby is better off without a deadbeat dad...gl

Answer 12

Having a child is a HUGE commitment which is why it's best to know someone for at least a year before deciding to start a family.  And then, you should first decide to get married, and then have children.

This is so backwards...  I would advise my child to have an abortion and hit the books before hitting the streets again.  Life is a very, very long journey, why start a family so young.

Maybe you should consider that your boyfriend is probably waking up to that reality.  He's not ready for a family.

Answer 13

There are many women around the world that have raised their kids by themselves.  If they can do it, then that means that you could do it too.  If he decides to leave you, then I doubt he will be happy knowing that he left you.  I do think part of it is your fault but it's also his fault.

Answer 14

no its not your fault! HE IS A JERK! everything will turn out alright! doworry hunn! its alot of stress. try having a friend with you alot. and have company time at the house chilling watching television. anything to keep your mind of that D*uch bag

Answer 15

no girl , its not ur fault at all , it looks like this dude is not ready to be a father , he likes going out with his friends and maybe his friends have something to do with him leaving you like this , i know a lot of guys who tell their friend what best for them , well not really but they like to think that way , and the worse part is the insecure dude like yours goes by the words of his buddys , just dump him , the kid dont need a father who cant make up his own mind , you can find someone who loves and respects you , remember to be happy so you can have a healthy baby :) i wish u all the best of luck  

Answer 16

He is just nervous and feels like everything don't matter right now but don't let that get you down be happy you still have a growing person inside of you that needs you right now. We say all time men can't handle it so why make promises. Take care of yourself!

I'm seven months and my boyfriend gives me too much attention.

Answer 17

the first thing is.. dont put it as "deal with you" .. it's cooparate with you.. and respect and raise up to his responsibilities.. i think maybe he may be afraid that its time for him to grow up.. and he may not be ready for that lifestyle..

the issue is you'll come across ppl you fall for.. and it will either work.. or it won't.. i think u should let him know u need a hand and support.. and u aren't the only one in this pregnancy!! maybe you could go out to a nice restaurant and talk things out.. maybe rekindle some flames..

if not.. unfortanutely, things either work or dont.. and if u clash.. and he isnt ready for responsibility of a kid, you obviously won't work out.

i understand you have already talked to him.. but maybe u should try getting him to face reality..

i think u need someone to lean on.. b/c its ok to hurt.. and its ok to cry. but dont let it affect you as a person, or ur baby!

ur having a baby!!!! this is a moment where u celebrate!

many daddys aren't ready to face it.. but maybe he'll come around..

if not.. i think you should just try to enjoy your pregnancy..

maybe have a friend or relative help you and support u thru it..

it just happens.. and i would say talk to him.. but i realize he isnt budging.. but u really dont have control over it..

just try not to worry about it.. and think about ur babyy!

im sure he may come around to it.. and realize its the right thing to do..

my father and i were very very close when i was younger.. but he left when i was 13 because he hadnt paid his taxes.. i havnt talked to my father in 3 years.. i know its tough.. but u have to think of the positive things about it.. it has made me a stronger person.. sure it took time to get over it.. and im still not over it.. and yea there were plenty of nights where i cried myself to sleep .. but u have to be strong!

be strong for your baby and for you!

congratulations.. and i pray that he does come around and help you out and come to notice what he needs to do as a parent.. and a boyfriend.

Answer 18

aww everything will be fine its just a  lot of stress

Answer 19

OMG...s***w him! You don't need him...just stay where you are...and do what u do...he'll come back trust me

Answer 20

first I would answer your "is it my fault?" question..

when we play fire, we KNOW that we might get burned.. when we play water, we KNOW that we will get wet.. you can't blame on the fire or the water.. coz GOD makes the nature of fire and water to burn and make you wet.. you just didn't use them correctly.. you could stay away at that time and play with them when you're ready with the consequences.. we can see a lot of teenager took wrong decision and regret it later.. don't know where to go.. and we, as the parent, have to listen to all stupid excuses and take their burden.. when I was young I knew exactly what will happen if I play fire & water when I wasnt ready yet.. coz I can see the consequenses everywhere.. so I didn't play with them at all.. and he CANT force me at all.. i can tell you.. I'm happy and I know where to go.. it's not both fault either.. coz it's your own vagin.. your own body.. you should take care of it by urself.. so now you know who's fault it is.. and you can move on with ur life.. coz when you keep blaming on the fire/water you will be stuck and waiting for his responsibility.. just DON'T..

you might get BEST guy in the future.. but that will be another story..

second.. you know what to do when you get burned and wet, right???

you can take it as same as ur case.. you're just afraid and can't make a decision.. but you need to make it as fast as you can or you might get "infection" or "fever"..

1. Save the baby..

I think you should take care the baby.. it might be very hard for you.. (even for normal parents..) but the baby is NOT WRONG.. a lot of ppl want to have babies for many years but they just can't.. why do we kill babies when we get it so easily.. right?? If you don't want the baby.. find a good family to adopt him/her.. but don't expect to get thank you from ur own baby in the future..

2. You might need help..

Ask someone to help you to get "medicine" or "towel".. you might get it from your family or your friends to support your decision.. and when the fire/water come back to burn/wet you again.. ur strong enough to "kick" his butt.. if you can't get it.. then ur out of luck..

I wish you have a beatiful life with ur baby in the future.. be TOUGH!! maybe in the next few years you write down here again and tell us that ur HAPPY with ur life..

Answer 21

let him go. stress would only hurt the baby.

Answer 22

"soo is it my fault"  it's not your fault.  He was probablly sincere, but then got scared, or his heart was not in for it anymore.  Listen, there are men out there that will take up where he left off.  I am not saying you will meet one, but giving you some enourgment.  Trust in God to supply for you.  Call on the name of Christ Jesus, ask him to help you.

Answer 23

It's both of your faults. You sound very young, and you should have thought about how s*x makes people have kids. But I'm not going to preach to you about that NOW since you already are. However, you need to start thinking about the life you and your baby is going to have to live. Is it going to be a decent one? Probably not, because you can't get a decent paying job to care for the baby and yourself, as you probably aren't old enough. Now, the decision to be made is: Should you keep the baby, or give it up for adoption? I vote adoption. If you love and care about yourself and your baby enough, that would be the best, mature way to deal with this. The baby needs someone to care for it properly and love it, and many couples out there fit those categories. You would do yourself and the baby a favor by choosing adoption.

Answer 24

Tell him to man up and stop crying like a 4 yr old

Answer 25

i dont think its your fault at all.

Answer 26

get rid of him. if he's not going to help raise his baby you shouldn't have to deal with him. just stay close to your family and friends during this tough time and lean on them for support. it's important you raise your baby in a loving environment without negative influences. hang in there and it will get better!  

Answer 27

thats soo sad!!!!! you need to stress it on him that he needs to get a job and all that or else your not going to be able to stay w/him. (if hes like that durring your pregnancy then what's he gunna be like when you do have the baby) but dont take that like you have to leave him right now, maybe hes still getting used to the idea and all.

no its not your fault, your bringing a beautiful new life into the world, theres not problem w/that exept the fact that your bf is being ignorrent.

good luck w/everything.

Answer 28

Judging by your question, you seem very young.  It looks like you are learning the hard way about s*x and pregnancy.  Fact is, it sounds like he's not ready for this.  Too bad for him.  He should have thought about it before engaging in s*x with you.  Sounds like you are going to have to take the initiative and worry about YOU and your baby.  He sounds like nothing more than a deadbeat.  It's pretty pathetic that someone won't even try to get a job, knowing that they have a child on the way.  He sounds like a loser, and while, unfortunatley, you will be stuck with him as a parent to your child for the rest of your life, it doesn't mean that you or your child have to live like this.  If he doesn't grow up, then it's time to move on.

Answer 29

it's NOT your fault.

he's scared and doesn't know how to deal with it. He also may be realizing that he has to grow up now that you are knocked up but he still wants to have things the way they were- hanging out with his friends, all sorts of free time and no responsibilities.

sorry you have to go through this when you really need him the most. :(