I'm 13, and my mom and me got in a huge fight.. help!?

Question

Okay, so me and my mom fight all the time.. and me being a 13 year old almost 14 year old teenage girl i have a "smart mouth". Anyways me and her have faught ever since i was 11.. my dad lives in alabama, and everytime we fights she threatends too make me live with him.. but i am really involed with sports, and im really good. i play softball and soccer and i run track all for my school and all the coaches and teachers love me. i just dont understand what my moms problem is. She takes my phone all the time and "spanks" me with a belt.. but recently she tried too spank me and i wouldnt let her (i'm really musclar and stronger than her) and she hit me on the leg and left a big bruise on it.. im just scared its going too become worse.. i really need advice..

Answer 1

im 13 + i fight with my mom about lots of stuff. If i get too mouthy i get sent 2 my room 4 a while. I learned when i was 11/12 not 2 yell + stuff at her bc it only got me a sore behind, so i know sooooooo much how u feel. spankings suck major i know

Answer 2

A smart-mouth does not need a bruise left by a belt.  Tha tis battery upon a minor, as well as general child abuse. If she put liquid soap on your toothbrush and made you wash your mouth out, i would still be abuse, but the belt is waaaayyy over he line.  You need to get some help soon sweety.  I am loath to say this, but what you are describing is the famale version of 'lion pride syndrome', where the young makle tries to test his authority  against his father.  However, child abuse is child abuse, and she is committing that felony.  You need to get to a school counsleor or CPS (child protective services--CA..in TX its DSS) peson FAST!.  Your safety is in serious jeopardy, so don't blow my response off please.  I vounteer at my hospital's pediatrics ward, and I have seen some of the most horrible things that children have had done to them.  Some of them wre released from he hospital only to end up in the psych unit...or worse.  Yes, you are wrong witht he smaprt mouth, but you need to know your mom's behavior is only going to get worse.

Answer 3

Others have brought up a good point. If she is other wise a good mother and not into drugs or drinking and doesn't abuse you in other ways then here is what I suggest:

Talk to her. CALMLY and respectfully when tempers are not high. Sit her down and tell her that her threatening to send you away and spanking you scares you. Tell you that you relize she has to have be a parent and issue punishment when it is due because yes that is her job but that you would feel better if she found other ways to do it. You are a teen and bound to rebel. Talk to her maturely after both of you have calmed down. If you are unable to face her write her a letter respectfully explaining your feelings and ask her to write one back to you explaining her view point. While you my not see something as a big deal to you to her it may be a very big deal. She is your mother and you should respect her but you also deserve respect. The more maturity you show in the matter the more chance you have of being treated like an adult.

If your mother is abusive in other ways then yes talk to somebody that you trust a doctor or a teacher. But be careful if all you are wanting is attention. It can back fire on you.

Answer 4

I have the same issue except it's with my dad. It's like he thinks just bcuz i'm a kid (me and u are the same age) , anyways just bcuz i'm a kid he can boss me. He's threatened to body slam me one time, i was so angry that I started being just as rude I told him if he laid a hand on me when I got back up I was gonna kill him. Maybe u should try talking to ur mom, I told my dad if he didn't scream and threaten me I would do the same. Sometimes parents are stressed and we teens are the ones that they let it out on. Just tell her to calm down. The way i see it is no matter the age u gotta give respect to get respect. BTW since we are the same age maybe we can be friends?

Answer 5

im sorry hun):

i get the 'smart mouth' comment too. If your mom get worse you really sould tell someone (teacher, coach ect.) Just really think before you speak.

Dont get the 'attuide', stomp your feet, click your tounge or roll your eyes.

Answer 6

omg hun im sorry to hear. yeah ive been told bout the smartmouth thing by my mom too.  but the belt hitting buisness is unnecessary!! i think if it gets any worse, call the police. or call a toll line on child abuse. see what happens from there. you can even call your father as well. hey, if she wants u to go to him, u might as well. u might have a better life with ur father. good luck.

Answer 7

Try not to have a "smart mouth" around her. If that doesn't work, tell someone.

Answer 8

i have that "smart mouth" problem sometimes, but my parents wouldn't dare spank me.

All you have to do is think before you speak, if she says clean your room, don't say something back, be like, Okay, and go clean it. She may have something going on that you are unaware about and she is taking it out on you.

A lot of parents don't like the whole talking back thing, also, try to help her out around the house, she may come around shortly.

Answer 9

call this number- 1 800 448 3000, it is for teenagers who need help, i forget what its called

Answer 10

The same thing happened to me, and I didnt report my mom or talked to a counseler because it wasnt a big deal to me. I didnt think I was in mortal danger or such. My mom was just fustrated because I talked back, and yelled, and was not exactly an angel child. I understood that.

What I did was that I tried not to smart-mouth, no matter how hard it was. I'd bit my lip, do anything so I wouldnt say something back to her.

Then after she was finished shouting, and she was calmed down, I'd come up to her and tell her what I wanted to say before. Just in a nicer way. And the slaps and yelling stopped.

Also, talk to her and tell her that your confused and dont know why you and her fight all the time, maybe she'll tell you and you could solve the problem.

If your mom really just hits you and fights with you for no reason at all, then you should tell someone. A counseler, a teacher, anyone, and get more help.

Answer 11

Is there an aunt or someone you can talk to that might help you and your mom get closer?  It's very hard and stressful being a single mom and having a child with a smart mouth.  She doesn't realize how hard it is to be a kids either.  When you are both calm, you might leave her a note that says you realize what a rough time she's going through, and that you have problems too, and could the 2 of you try for some counseling (a lot is free, call your mental health clinics).  Try helping her with some chores, which will get her attention that you're trying hard to help, and maybe, just that hour you save her might be the break she needs, and that gesture can show her that you care.  You are at the stage where you're too old to spank, and too immature to not need it.  Show some maturity, and maybe the 2 of you can get along better.  Good luck!

Answer 12

I suggest you call your dad and ask for his advice.  Do you know him well?  Maybe he'll move closer to you so you can live with him and stay involved in the sports.

Answer 13

call cps when your mom isnt around

Answer 14

Go to the police n get her arrested n go live with ur dad.. I rly feel sorry 4 u.. Gd thing that ur standing ur 4 urself.. Dont let her treat u like that.. But b4 going 2 the cops go tell a teacher.. Hey i rly hope evrything works out.. Gd luck and take care..

Answer 15

I'm sorry you are going through this. Your mom is obviously under a lot of stress and she is taken it out on you. You do not have to take it any longer. Try to talk to her without mouthing off it will only make you seem like a young child and you want to be a strong mature young adult for your mom to understand why this has to stop. Unfortunately you are probably going to need to get help involved. School counselors are great and it seems like you have a good connection with your school. Talk to anyone you know can help. You both probably will need to see a therapist together and each have separate sessions talking about where the anger is coming from. You should never be afraid of your family and you will feel better after you seek help. Your mom needs to know how this is effecting you. Never stop doing sports it will be the best gift you will ever give yourself after high school and college. Best of luck!

Answer 16

Gosh I feel bad for you - yes you should not have a smart mouth to your mom but she shouldn't hit you with a belt or anything else.  Are you worried that she is going to hit you more?  Can you talk to a teacher about it?  You don't need to have physical violence in the house.  Does she apologize after or is she always mean?

Answer 17

if she spanks u w/ a belt then thats abuse... tell ur mom that u love her but what she does really hurts u and if she doesnt stop u will tell somebody b/c its not legal to hit/ spank a child w/ a belt... hope i helped and good luck!

Answer 18

Talk to an adult you trust at your school, one of your coaches, a teacher or a guidance counselor about your mother's "spankings".  They can help you get your mom to stop hurting you and can be very supportive.  Good luck!

Answer 19

Is she an alchoholic because of you fighting and because your dad lives in a whole other state?

It might be.

This is physical abuse of what your mom is doing!

I suggest going to a phyciatrist for your mother and for you too to help you with your problems, or even calling the police on her because of the abuse!