I'm 14 and I'm so confused about my life! please help me :( ?

Question

Hey. So..umm.. my names Jess and I go to a school where all races are separated. I'm white and blonde so that means, in my school, i "have" to go around with the other white blonde kids... There's a girl in my school called Lilly and she's black so we're not meant to hang around together, really. She lives on my road so we get the same bus home. One time, we both missed the bus home so we both has to ring our parents to ask them to come n get us. Whilst we were waiting, we we talking so much about everything and i grew to really like her and we had soo much in common!!My friends had always told me that the asian people n blacks were different to us but talking to Lilly it didn't really feel that way. The next day, me and Lilly hung around together in school and no all my friends are being so horrible to me..When we need to get into groups for things, for instance, they all will completely ignoor me and say things like " oh hi stranger - why don't you go with your new mate!?" and one of them put juice in my locker and a note saying " go with the blacks then *****!" and now i'm so sad. I don't know whether to just ditch Lilly or not... or go with them again.. Its summer hols now and i havnt seen ANY of my friends except lilly over the WHOLE holiday :( they all ignoor my calls and they will do until i stop being with lilly. I really miss my friends but i REALLY lke lilly. help x*x

Answer 1

i think this is a good ting for you,stay with lilly,she sounds a good friend because she has obviously made friends with a white person and she probably has been told to stay away from them,just like you have been told to stay away from the black people.your other friends arnt really your friends if they cant accept that you are allowed to be nice to people that dont look like you,black people are not dangerous,i live in a place that has quite alot ov black people and also i have been on holiday in africa and might be moving to an island just off the cost of africa that my dads company owns and will be teaching little africans maths and things.they are mainly friendly lovely people just like lilly,and i think that black people are no more dangerous that white people and to be honest i think white people are probably more dangerous some times.i think that if you cant tell your mum about your friend now then its is fine just wait untill you are older and a bit more confident and then tell your  mum that you have had a few friends that are black for many years and they are some ov the best friends you have ever had.also about the no other friends thing,talk to lilly and see if you could make friends with some ov her friends,then you are less likly to fall out for long because you both are in the same friend group.

i do think that your school arrangment is a bit odd or different but that is because i have been raised were people are all mixed together and we are taught that it is wrong to judge people by  their race and are taught to like them and not notice the clolour ov their skin,so i also think that it is wrong to judge your school by the way it runs,i am sure that it has its reasons,

you sound like a lovely girl and you deserve better than the friends you describe that now mock you and have ditched you....stick with lilly she sound lovely

x

Answer 2

THAT'S SO FVCKED UP! Racism is for fvckers. i think you should stick with Lilly, she sounds like the best person there. If your friends were true friends they wouldn't care who you hung out with with or the color of the skin.

Answer 3

You should do what you think is best. Is this a public school? If it is, they aren't allowed to seperate people like that. I personally have great friends that are other races and cultures, my best friend (I'm white) is asian and she is the most awesomest person in the entire world. But I bet I am a little biast 'cause she's my best friend. If your other friends won't be your friend anymore just because you found a new one that is different, I don't think they are true friends no matter what they try to say to you. If I were you, I would try to stay with lilly, she seems like the most true friend, and the one to stay behind you nomatter what is up.

Good luck

Answer 4

what strange school do you go to?

well its either lots of mates or 1.. make your choice.

Answer 5

Your mom thinks theyre dangerous?

Well tell her you have a new friend and shes not bad at all. Shes extremely nice and we have so much in common. We've been hanging around a lot. Stuff like that. She'll believe you. I had a friend like that. It was hard :[ but in the end my friends believe me. So say that to your friends and ur mom.

I feel bad for you. D:

But your friends dont sound like friends. Oh hey stranger. I mean WTH??

Just convince your friends and ur mom shes not mean or bad at all. Tell her how much u guys get along. Ah i wish i could help.

But good luck.

Answer 6

Maybe lilly is going through the same as you, if you stick together things colud work out for the best. Sounds silly but maybe you will prove to your classmates that it dosnt matter what colour you are.

Good luck too you.

x

Answer 7

obviously they really dont value your friendship otherwise they would have joined you in talking to lily. stick wither her for now and make new friends who accept who you want to be with.

Answer 8

Dont think about it!

GET A XBOX 360

Answer 9

Kids who do horrible things like that are not your friends, sorry to say.... but hey, all bad things are always happening for the good.. x

Answer 10

girl...that is pure racism...this really needs to be reported, this Is super serious. She's your friend!! This isn't the 1940s...racism should be gone, zip, done. they are not your true friends; Lilly is.

Answer 11

You just need to tell them that they are being shallow and that just because the school rules say that different races shouldn't talk that it is no reason that you still can't be friends with them.

Just to let you know you should get your mum to report the school, because what the school is encouraging is racism and that was abolished years ago.

Answer 12

Good LORD!

What kind of n**i school are you going to?

Tell the others hating someone because they are black is wrong,we are ALL created in GOD'S image and you will be friends with whoever you want to be friends with and if they don't like it, go pray and ask the LORD to forgive them for their ignorance.

Answer 13

What?? Where on earth do you live?? You have the right to be friends with anyone you want to, race shouldn't even come into it.  

Answer 14

the way i see it they are not your friends. if color, race, or place of origin is the cause of not being friends well that is just stupid!!!

your friends are racist. every person is different we may have something in common and then we have our differences but that's the beauty of life,it allows us to communicate with other people and interact with them.

if i were in your shoes i would continue hanging out with Lilly, obviously you've tried your best to reach out to your friends but to no success. try to explain that Lilly is no different from anyone else. just because she has different color skin doesn't mean she's like totally different. she's human too with talents and hobbies just like everyone else.

i know it's hard because of all the horrible things people do to you at school, but think about this you're happy when you're with Lilly and your not even doing anything wrong. continue being her friend and maybe just maybe you can introduce Lilly to your buddies gradually...

and if people will see you in school being friends with someone with different skin color, maybe they will copy you and be friends with other people as well.

separating people just because of their race is stupid!

be the better person Jess. Good luck.

Answer 15

Tell your friends that they're racist dorks that should go off and do a 700 page report about Martin Luther King Jr. Hang out with Lilly, why should you care what "color" of skin Lilly is. Why should they care either? Does your school make you learn about Martin Luther King Jr.? Do your "friends" know what he did?

Answer 16

First tell your teachers cause this is bullying. I'm sorry that you are in such a race divided school it's quite sad. In my school everyone mixes with everyone. You have to stay strong and hang out with Lily, then they will get bored of it and you never know people may start mixing. Never let them tell you what to do and who to hang around with. Just cause they are a different race doesn't make them any less human. If they can't be happy for you making a new friend then they aren't your true friends. I had the same situation, well kinda. A new girl started and no1 like her cause she was pretty and they were all jeleous of her, so i decided to become her friend and we became the best of friends. Everyone used to talk about us and be horrible to us but you know what we ignored them and after a while they got bored and joined our group and now we are all friends and have put that behind us soo yeah. Well I hope I helped x

Answer 17

Stay with lilly.

there is nothing wrong with being mates with people of different races. - atleast lilly is nice and not racist two faced little brats

x

Answer 18

WTF!!!! You hang with the person (people) who accept you for who you are. Those other ones ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS. You tell your blondies that if some one were to come and cut them and cut Lilly, once the blood hits the floor they wouldn't know whos was whos any way.

The school actually accepts this seperation stuff? I'm glad you had a chance to find out on your own that people are people regardless of their skin tones. Just remember every time you get to missing your so called friends that they turned their backs on you for being a better person. Funny also how they chose to do something to your locker and not Lillys.....I believe that's what's called COWARDS. I for one want to thank you personally for standing up for doing the right thing. Do not be ashamed, the cowards are the ones who don't know what they're missing. *applauds and gives you a standing ovation*

Answer 19

darlin you hang round with who you want to hang round with x

Answer 20

Ok, first of all, why would you even THINK of wanting to go back to those friends? I understand that you've known them longer and all, but they are being very inconsiderate to you! They don't even care to try and step into your shoes and see that it's not a crime to hang out with other races. I'm sorry, but your school is pathetic! Our world is NOT meant to be with only our race we are born as. We're all supposed to live in peace TOGETHER!! This is really up to you and what you want to do, but if I were you, I would call up all those friends and tell them, look Lilly is not any different from us. She may be African American, but so what? Race doesn't matter. Why should it matter? It's not like other races have diseases on them. Also tell them this: Besides, you guys are being immature and not even opening your eyes to the world. The world is not just ONE race. So just get used to the fact that I'm not going to be racist and I'm going to hang out with whoever I want, regardless of race. And if they don't listen, then just leave them be. Their too young to see that race doesn't effect anything.

PS. I'm asian american, and I'm no different from Caucasian people. None of the races are different from any of them. Just because we all look different doesn't mean we're weird or will act stupid. Your school is just very prejudice and racist and they NEED to grow up and get a wake up call.  I hope you make the right choice.  

Answer 21

The very best advise I can give you is to say stand by your principles by standing by your new friend and then you will know deep inside that you are good and decent and did the right thing.  If you don't you may always regret it.

Your old so called friends are shallow, immature and stupid, not to mention downright cruel.  They are no loss.

Sometimes in life you have to make difficult decisions and even though doing the right thing can be hard at first, it gets easier and you get far more respect from other people in the long run.

Most importantly if your old friends continue to be unpleasant to you, then do not let them think it bothers you.  If it doesn't bother you or you make a good job of making them think it doesn't bother you they will soon grow tired of their stupidity.

Answer 22

Your friends and classmates are ignorant and racist.  They have created a very narrow world for themselves, full of people who only look like them.  The good news is, their little world isn't the whole world.  You don't "have" to limit yourself unless you want to.  You can be friends with every person in the school if you want to - if people choose to hate you because of it, then that is their choice and their loss, not yours.

Think about the meaning of friendship.  You aren't friends with ALL the white kids at your school, right?  Some of them you just don't like, even if they are in your group, right?  So obviously friendship is more than looks or skin color.  Friendship is about how you feel underneath.  Your former friends have shown that underneath, they are shallow and mean.  Lilly has shown that even though she doesn't look like you, she thinks and feels like you.  Who do you think is the better friend in the long run?

Yes, it's hard to stand up against what everyone else is doing.  But if you know you're right, and you have at least one true friend to stand with you, that's all that matters.  Be proud of yourself, and listen to your heart.  Set a good example for your classmates.  Ask the school deans and teachers to help you.

Answer 23

Your school sounds really strange to have such separations like that. Why dont the teachers sort it out?

I recon you should ditch your mates and go with Lilly! It sounds like you have alot in common. Your other friends arnt very good friends for being mean to you for making a new mate. They shouldnt judge people on race. They are racists and they are people you shouldnt want to be involved in.

Stay with Lilly and ignore all the bad attention. You can support eachother and be true friends together.

Good luck! :)x*x

Answer 24

My gosh, where are you living that there is this horrible society?

Ireland is supposed to be backward, but even we don't have this kind of set-up in schools here.

Good for you for sticking up for your friend. You could casually invite Lilly around to your mother's house, for five minutes, let her get used to the idea.

Don't worry though, in future when you're older, you can be friends with whoever you want ...

Answer 25

whoa!!!

what kind of school does that, seriously?!

if i were you i wouldnt listen to what everyone is saying.

they might think its right but you know its wrong

so keep your friendship with lilly and f*** what everybody else thinks

Answer 26

What kind of a fxcked up school do you go to?!?

If i was you then i'd move schools, but if you can't then this is what i say.

It's a shame those girls are such racist bigots, stay with lilly, other people are just too narrow minded and scared to mix with other races.

Also tell your headteacher, they have to sort out the racist bullying, if not i'd say complain to the school governors, they HAVE to do something.