I'm 15 and have nothing. What should I do?

Question

I know that something is wrong with me. And it's not hard to see. I am depressed! My depression has gotten so bad that I just don't see a reason to even try anymore. Everyday I get worse and worse. I can't find a reason to want to live or to even try. I told myself that if I was to die today,nothing would change. Everything would be the same. Life is just so meaningless. Especially when you aren't heard. I feel that my life was over the day I was born. I am not at a healthy weight,I have no father,and I feel that I have no family that love me. I hate when I hear other kids saying stuff about when they do stuff with their mother or when they say something about their father. I hate myself. I don't know what to do. I feel lonely,lost,sad,and hopeless. I can't talk to anyone without them saying that I talk stuff or ignore me. I once hated myself so much that I got a butter knife and scratched my arms and my face up. It didn't bleed nor hurt. I just thought that maybe somebody would see what I have done and try to get me some help or help me. But I was so wrong. Nobody cares about me. I am a b*****d. I see people smiling and happy. I just wish that could be me. Just for once I would like to be around people who wouldn't call me names,say things about my weight,and someone who would actually listen and not judge me. I felt that I needed to do something. So I cut all my hair off. And dyed it red,brown,and blonde. I never got a chance to say (I love you dad) (daddy). None of that. I just want to be able to live for once. Just one time. Just one day. I asked my mother if I could go to my friend's house. She hollered at me. And I asked again she ignored me. She said that I don't even know the people. But if I could go places I would know everyone. But I don't really have friends. Just people I know. Sometimes I wished that I had a father instead of a mother. Maybe I wouldn't be so........ Out of place. Maybe I'll know what I want to do with my life. I'm so afraid that my father and his mother (my grandmother) will die before I get the chance to meet them. But I'm stupid,maybe I don't need them.

Answer 1

Do not be tempted by the "EMO" lifestyle and  mannerisms.surround yourself with positive people and not by people who will bring you down, join positive clubs at school, join church groups, avoid being by yourself and do not bring yourself down, if you feel people dont like you because of your weigth, that is THEIR problem , not yours. you must learn to value yourself. Talk to a school counselor.

Answer 2

I felt alone and depressed and ignored and invisible for about 6 YEARS.  Kids teased me every day because I was chubby and wore glasses and didn't dress cool or have any friends.

I had a mother who was very protective and insulting, always saying I was fat and that I didn't do well enough in school, and she would not allow me to go ANYWHERE farther than my front yard.  In high school, I never had ONE SINGLE DATE, not even senior prom!  I wasn't allowed to even give out my phone number so at least I could talk to people after school.  I was NEVER allowed to go to other kid's houses, and definitely no parties and no boyfriends.  

All I did from kindergarten to 12th grade was school and piano lessons until I joined the band and student council.  At least my mom allowed me to go to band banquets and student council camps.  

You definitely should try to see if your mom will let you join a club or something that you find interesting.  You can find friends there who share your interest.  My best friend and I became friends through student council.  She is still my best friend after 10 years!

I had frequent suicidal thoughts.  But fortunately, I never did kill myself.  And after high school, I had more freedom and found a couple good friends who helped me realize that I WAS WORTH LOVING.  I finally started dating when I was 20, and a couple years ago, my friend introduced me to his cousin, who went to my high school, but was a GORGEOUS popular football player who didn't even know I existed before.  We got married last year and are still happily married.

I am so glad that I "waited out" the sad part of my life, because now I am happier than I ever thought possible.  

You are worth loving.  NO ONE ELSE HAS YOUR MIND OR SOUL OR HEART.  You are one of a kind.  And one day, someone will appreciate everything that makes you unique, and you will be happier than you can imagine.

And by the way, I CARE ABOUT YOU...otherwise, I wouldn't have bothered typing all this!

Answer 3

Wow you really need help. I'm the same age and have felt depressed, but then I think about what I could do once I'm on my own. You have your whole life ahead of you to fall in love and experience life. Don't give up after only 15 years. My advice to you would to do something really fun and exciting. Go skydiving or take a road trip. Just don't give up on your life before it even started.

Answer 4

maybe try to get more involved in school and make friends

maybe after school programs if your mom will allow

how about asking if you can help neighbors or babysitting

to get to know other people

maybe be more helpful at home, if you are not already

and maybe your mother will listen to you more

ask if you can meet your father

how about joining a club - maybe something with your mom

Answer 5

Taking Authority over Your EmotionsEmotions are an area that many Christians don’t understand. Because of this, Believers often allow their emotions to lead them. As a result, emotionally-led decisions take them on a course that is out of the will of God for their lives. While God gave every human being emotions, it is critical that we get control over negative emotions and subject them to the Word of God. Make these daily confessions so that you can subject your feelings to God’s Word and make the right decisions:

Heavenly Father, thank You for giving me healthy emotions. I declare that negative emotions will not impact my decisions, neither will they dictate my responses to difficult circumstances. I will submit my feelings to You in every situation that I encounter in life. You have given me authority over the power of the enemy, and I declare that nothing shall by any means hurt me, including people and situations that try to negatively influence my emotions. When I feel overwhelmed by life, or troubled by negative emotions, like Jesus, I will pray and keep moving forward  I bind depression, anxiety, worry, fear, doubt, anger, rejection and any other negative emotion that tries to attack my mind. I possess power, love and a sound mind. I thank You, Father, that I walk in peace, joy and the comfort of the Holy Ghost. I have the mind of Christ and my emotions are controlled by the Word of God. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Scriptural references:

·Mark 14:33-35

·Luke 10:19

·2 Timothy 1:7

·Romans 14:17

·1 Corinthians 2:16

God Bless U