I'm 16, does my poem show talent?

Question

THE BLIND MAN

In the darkness, I am not alone.

They come and go, the gifted.

Sweep eyes upon me surreptitiously.

Perforating glances detected by my soul.

All look upon the man that cannot see.

My ears grant me ample awareness.

Play substitute to my dead, abyssal, eyes.

Inform me of all void images,

Tease me of my bleak outlook of beauty.

So do I long to see the instruments of sound,

The matter of which all can be identified.

All words, shrouded in darkness,

Unicoloured blackness engulfs all objects.

Obscure images thrive in my deluded mind.

Random paint coats sound devoured by my ear.

In death, the heavens will sedate my tortured soul,

For angels have not tainted eyes.

The gifted often endeavor to escape the darkness.

In it, they are blind.

It renders them vulnerable, isolates them to the unknown.

In the darkness, I am not alone.

Answer 1

IT'S SO GOOD I GIVE IT A 9/10 BECAUSE OF "THE GIFTED" it doesn't really make sense at all but it's very emontional and has good sense of poetic writing!!!!!^_^

Answer 2

Wow....seriously, submit this poem. I think that you could be on to something. Good job.

Answer 3

kinda creepy,

but ya i guesss.

Answer 4

Wow!!! are you sad? Good poem, seems kinda depressing though.

Answer 5

:O:O omg im 15 and thats really good , it expresses alot of emotion .. well done !

Answer 6

i bet you are a. either emo. or 2. you just look for big words in a dictionary. this poem really doesn't make sense. big words don't make good poems.

Answer 7

Don't worry too much about talent. You're young, you have a whole life to learn how to polish your emotions and bring it to poetry.

If you know you have lot of emotions, that's your gift. Grab it!

Anyway, let's read, as much as you can. Paul Verlain, Baudelair, Rimbaud, Kafka, Marcel Proust...

Answer 8

Yeah def! Bit dark but hey it's all good! x

Answer 9

wow...thats...thats realli gud...lyk sumone said on here, it's very deep, kinda creepy, buh it shows what the man's feelings are..i lyk it...gud job!

Answer 10

woahs.. thats deep. two words to answers your question: h**l YEAH =)

Answer 11

yeah, you got talent

Answer 12

sure it does! you have writing skills be an author or a councilor.

Answer 13

You make me feel bad, i wasn't half as talented at 16, great poem and thanks for making me feel insecure, lol

Answer 14

I'm 16 as well.

That's pretty deep.

Answer 15

yes!!! it's great! I've been studying poetry at school and that is better than some of the stuff my teacher has made us read!

Answer 16

now  you just gave your poem away for people to steal so thats not talent anymore dont ever do that

Answer 17

wow it shows how emo you are

Answer 18

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm YA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 19

Ive just stole it and im gonna hand it in for this stupid national competion we were forced into entering...

thanks

:D

Answer 20

nice

Answer 21

we are the same age but on very different levels

submit it to a publisher or something

Answer 22

Yes it does.  I'm impressed with the level of the vocabulary and the structure.  Very good.  You're miles ahead of many of the kids who post things on here.

Keep at it.

Answer 23

...woow.

that was... awesome dude,

im 14 (my bdays tomoro 15) and i write poems too...

woow. that... is just . stunningly good

keep it up and if you want to, email me more of them :)

Answer 24

Definitely some good words and a sound mastery of the language, and it is in its way 'poetic'.  But it is the same poem I've read many times by many other people your age, a kind of passionate yearning to be understood, showing off how deep and mysterious and intelligent you are.  I'd be more impressed if you wrote a poem called 'I'm clever' and then peotically explained why we should believe you.  Don't take too much gratification from the kids on here telling you you're amazing, you're not amazing but you could be.  The best piece of writing advice I ever had was 'write what you know'.  And at 16 you really don't know all about delusion and all engulfing blackness in even a fraction of its connotations.  Write that enthusiastically about something you're passionate about and know about.  Your life, not your head trips.

Answer 25

yup...but really you dont have to ask

Answer 26

Id submit it in writing contests, it looks pretty good. Very emotional.

Answer 27

! i think it's really good.

i like how it ends.

it's kind of dark, lol

but yah i would say you have alot of talent