I'm 16 and 7 months pregnant my ex wants to sue for complete custody what do i do?

Question

the first 5 months he was great he talked to my stomach and he was so excited about her but then he met some girl at work and dumped me for her i was hysterical i had to go to the emergency room because i had cramps and some bleeding he wouldn't go he refuses to go to any doctors appointments he said he wasn't going to be there when i'm in labor but no he changed his mind i was 15 when she was conceived he was 16 i know i'm young and i'm not posting this for people to tell me how much of a s***w up i am..he thinks because he has a job they'll give him custody

Answer 1

this is very unlikely that they will give custody of a baby to a 16 yr old father! unless there are extreme problems with you aor your ability to bring up the baby then they will grant full custody to you the mother!

he is probably doing it to wind you up since he has a new girlfriend!

dont waste your time with him he doesnt sound the best role model for your baby!just focus on what is important you and your babies health!

Answer 2

first you need to get a grip of yourself. Secondly get a d**n good lawyer who would be will to help you win this battle. Stick together with your parents, a good parental support can help you especially if they are willing to help you take care of your child.

Answer 3

They will NOT give him custody especially if he is older than you and left you. And if you have a good support system, family friends etc, then you are set. He thinks you are naive enough to believe him about the full custody thing, but don't, you are stronger than that. Just tell him that he is welcome to she her but there is not way in the deep dark corners of h**l that he is getting custody, EVER!

Answer 4

they are not going to give it to him. Fathers rarely get full custody unless the mom is really unfit.  He will get custody rights but not full so don't worry. go get a lawyer.

Answer 5

just tell the honest truth and try not to worry

i doubt that any court would give full custody to an underage parent who refused to show up to doctor's meetings and showed practically no concern for the well-being of the mother or the child.

also, whatever job he has, i'm sure it doesn't pay nearly enough to cover the cost of raising a child.

if he's as bad as you say he is, i think the court will recognize that

do make sure to get legal counsel tho

and good luck with your child!

i hope things turn out well for you and your baby

Answer 6

How old is he?  If he is "done" with you, does he REALLY think that having a baby to lug around is going to keep his romantic life happenin'?

Do you have the support of your own mom?  If so, would she be willing to act as the legal guardian just until you are 18?

You have rights--I'd talk to someone with social services if I were you.

Good luck

Answer 7

He's probably just saying that he is going to sue for custody to upset you.  Besides I do not believe that any judge would award a 17 year old boy custody of a newborn especially when the mother is capable.  If you have to go to court let the judge know the trouble that he put you through.  Bring the report from the hospital and have your doctor write something saying that your ex was not at your appointments.  Don't worry about it.  Just take care of you and your baby.  The health of your baby is the only thing you should be worried about.

Answer 8

No absolutely no.  They normally always award custody to the mother unless extreme cicumstances say otherwise....like if you are a druggy, or an alcoholic or abuse your kids etc etc.

  But that is not the case with you.  You are young, but so is he, so that is not going to make a difference.  You can tell them in court, (if it goes that far which I doubt it will)  that he dumped you whilst you were 5 months pregnant and made you so upset that you were admitted to the emergency room and her endangered the life of his unborn child.....THAT should win your case hands down!

  If you have your parents to help you or anyone, show the courts that you can provide a stable home for your baby.  If you have noone, get in contact with social services and find out how you can provide a stable home for your baby.  This guy is going to have to pay you some child support anyway.

He's gonna lose.  But you should get some legal advice anyway!

Answer 9

Change your number.

Answer 10

Most judges today give JOINT custody.  He will be able to get visitation including overnights after 3-6 months depending on the state and the judge.  Unless your or your home is unstable, nobody gets sole custody any longer.

Also, contrary to other poster, don't assume that just because you might be breastfeeding, that that will prevent overnights. Judges are perfectly aware that you can pump milk.  By 3 months, a milk supply is well established.

Answer 11

get a lawyer now. He has to declare his paternity to the child..well that is how it is in Texas. But call a lawyer and tell them whats going on.

Answer 12

First how old is he, second just cause you have a job doesnt mean a thing if your underage 18, If hes over 18 he can be held accountable for rape even if you consented. 2 you both need to decide if you want to keep the baby and share the custody, 3 if hes gonna fight you, talk to your family and get their in put, 4 When and if he settles down you both need to decide whats best for you  and for the baby, are you able to raise it on your own?, Can you afford to raise it together? Would your baby be better off in being given up for adoption and would you want some kinda contact with your child as they grow up"its called Open adoption". Good Luck to you and I hope he calms down and grows up before your baby gets here.

Answer 13

The legal team always do whats best for the baby, if you are in a reasonably stable state of mind, physical and mental and have means to support the child, e.g. your parents, money you have and he cant even be bothered to be there when the baby is born then you have very little to worry about.

Also if you were 15, you can press charges against him!

Answer 14

Breastfeed.  No judge will order a baby away from a breastfeeding mother (provided your not doing drugs).  Get yourself in school and get your life together.  Join some sort of support group for teen moms.  Show your committed to the baby.  And don't get involved with your ex's drama.  He's being immature.  Focus on the little person your about to bring into this world.  I'm sorry about your ex, but if it's any consolation, you'll love that baby a million times more than him.  So shift your focus.

Good luck

Oh, and don't put him on the birth certificate.  Make him raise the money to get a DNA test to prove paternity.

Answer 15

No- they cannot take your child away just because 'he has a job'. You have rights, this is YOUR child. It's about loving your child and taking good care of it.

If he starts causing problems then it may be best to contact a solicitor.

Answer 16

I know in some places, for example, in Canada, if a single mother doesn't want to acknowledge the father of her child for any reason, she doesn't have to.  When the mother submits the form to the government to register her child and get a birth certificate, she can choose to put only her name down and that's it.  The biological father will have no rights at all in that case.  However, the father can still go to court and get a court order to do a DNA test.  If the DNA test (for which the father will have to pay) proves that he is the biological father of the child, then his name will be added to the birth certificate and he can then go to court for custodial rights.  But until his name is on the birth certificate, he can't do anything.

Just thought I'd point this out in case this is an option that's available to you.  I know it's usually best for the child to know both parents, but if the father is abusive, for example, there are those rare times when it may be better to leave him out of the picture.  Besides, as the mother, you can always add the father's name to the birth certificate later if things get better.  (at least in Canada you can).

As for having the guy there during your labour, personally, if your relationship is over and is very rocky now, with him threatening to sue and all, I wouldn't have him in the delivery room.  I think this will put too much pressure on your and stress you out unnecessarily.  Just have your Mom there, a sister (if you have one) and/or a friend.  If the guy is acting this way now, I wouldn't even call him when you go into labour.

All the best!

Answer 17

i had my first at 16 luckily i had a guy that was willing to be there for my son even though we were not together, but anyways he can't take the baby from you unless he can prove you are unfit....i suggest you talk to a lawyer and i hope all turns out well!

Answer 18

Don't worry. If you have a place to stay and some finances (living with your parents maybe?) the court can not take your child away from you. If you have a problem with drugs or alcohol, it may be a different story. If he really wants custody, then he may be able to obtain a shared-parenting agreement where you both get time with the child, but I doubt the court will allow your ex boyfriend anything besides minimal visitation while the child is still nursing. Don't stress yourself out. Everything will be fine. Good luck and congratulations on the baby!

Answer 19

how old is this guy?  check your local laws:  in some states, if he's more than 4yrs older than you, he could set himself up for a world of legal hurt if he tries to pursue custody.

unless you're a danger to the baby, the chance of him being given custody of a newborn without your consent ranges from slim to "fat".  unfortunately, unless he's a danger to the baby (ie, has anger and impulse control issues or has threatened to steal the baby), you can't stop him from seeing his child, either.

go to court and get full custody - not joint.  joint custody only works when both parents are amicable and this is not it.  it's also bad for the child, being shunted from household to household every couple or few weeks.  it's best for the child to remain in one stable home and have visitation from the non-custodial parent.

if you don't want him in the room when you give birth, he can't force the issue - you have all the cards cause it's your goods on display.

and tell him that "a job" flipping burgers doesn't impress judges.  it would have to be a very good job and as it is, all that'll happen is he'll be ordered to pay child support.