I'm 17, i only want to know what you think?

Question

After reading someone else's question on getting pregnant at 17 i felt that i wanted to post one of my own. I am 17, to be 18 in January. I currently have a 25 yr old fiance. we are very happy, and relationship strength is no question. about 7 weeks ago i found out i was pregnant,i was shocked but in a weird way we were pleased, we hadnt been trying, but not preventing, it had been something we had talked about to no end and decided that we would give it a chance, if it happened then it happened. 4 months in and i discovered i was pregnant, within a week of that i began bleeding. The doctor said to wait a week and she's do a blood test, it came back negative, my levels were dropping and i was miscarrying, it was heartbreaking, i must have cried every night for about 2 weeks. Since the miscarriage we have talked it over and over and have decided that since my period has just finished we are going to try and get conceive again. For those of you reading this and huffing and puffing i would just like to say to you, this is not something we have entered into lightly, My fiance has his own house and is working. I have currently just finished my AS Levels so i am in the position of going to college or studying for another year and then going to university (something i am not interested into) i have my own car, something that i bought myself, and is a pretty good 56 plate vauxhall corsa, in perfect condition. I am working now too, so can someone here tell me why because im 17 i cant have a baby, just to state if i got pregnant now the baby would be born when i was 18.

is there an age on these things now then, because i believe i can support my child, emotionally, physically and mentally, can you come up with a good GENUINE reason why i shouldn't, im not asking for money, hand outs or benefits x

Answer 1

after reading you question you sound very mature, wise and obviously stable financially and in a relationship, if you want to have a child i wish you the best of luck!! im sorry to hear about your M/C, they are very hearkbreaking i know as i had one in may. i annoys me with all these little scally these days having babies to get to the top of the council house list faster and to recieve more benefits! but this is not you and dont let people try and make you feel ashamed about getting pregnant as obviously you and your partner have made a decision together!! i was 19 when i got pregnant ( i had my son 2 weeks after my 20th) i also had a house and a job but people still have their opinions!  i wish you the best of luck TTC you will be and ace mum, and i hope it happens soon!!! after my M/C they told me to wait 8 weeks before trying again as there is a high chance of having a back to back miscarriage, good luck hunny, all the best! xxxxxxxxxx

Answer 2

You do what you want!

Back in ages gone by it was no shock to be pregnant at 17 18 and even 15!

Your over 16 which means you can have s*x...that means you can have kids right!...if you want a baby and feel ready then do it!....dont take nay notice of those W^NK3RS on here who think bad of it...

Im 27 and when i write in with worries about becoming a dad i get told im doing something wrong...usually by ideot kids who never had a glint of life!

So GO FOR IT!!!

Answer 3

Just Now That Your Fiance Can Be Arrested Anytime Before You Are 18 For Statutory Rape If Anyone Opens Their Mouth Or If You Go To The Hospital And It Gets Out That You Had s*x With A Man Over 18 And Your A Minor

Answer 4

Hi i am not tryign to answer this question.

I just want to say good for u huni!! Who cares wot other people say its ur life and u decide!!

My mum had me a 16 and i turned out fine, i am not a druggy or an alcoholic so there is proof that being a teenage mum is not a bad thing whatsoever no matter what anybody says!!

Well done huni, good luck to u trying to conceive! x*x

Answer 5

I suppose that the only thing that would be a negative is what childbirth and a young family restrict you from doing.

Its always harder to do anything once you have a child, especially if you wish to pursue a career of choice, Myself and my wife both have quite high profile jobs so work long hours and cherish weekends, we have a full time nanny during the week and spend the weekends doing household chores and spending time as a family.

Gone are the days where you can do anything mid-week, can go away at weekends or have particularly exciting holidays.

We are both in our mid thirties and have done and seen an awful lot before having a family so never feel that we are particularly missing out on anything.

You are very young (don't get me wrong as you clearly have your head screwed on) and have a lot of things yet to experience, it is much much harder with a small or large family especially when they are young.

You will make the right decision for you in the end anyway.

Good Luck!

Answer 6

Sorry, you're not going to like this, but you did ask...

At 17, you are not old and mature enough to make a decision which will affect you for the rest of your life, in my opinion.

Things may be good with your partner now, but things change, trust me, and you won't be the person you are now at 21, 31, 41 or 51.  

I have 2 kids myself, and find it a struggle being 32 with decent amounts of money, nice cars and a nice home.  How will you find it at 17/18?  Trust me, it will be very hard.

Think carefully about your reasons for so desperately wanting a baby this young.  If it's because a baby offers unconditional love, forget it.  They do, but they also rely on you completely for a VERY LONG TIME!  

Answer 7

are you living with your fiance or family? what happens if he leaves you? if you are standing up on your on two feet and working etc no-one can stop you who are we to stop you its your life? i think your in doubt yourself about having the baby thats why you want a reason from us, good luck and i hope you have a happy life

Answer 8

what do you want to prove with this question,

On the most part you seem stable enough to start a family but seem extremely needy for reassurance from people you don't know.

it's your life, you and your fiance can make decisions, you don't need the world to back you up on it.

Answer 9

For girls, 17 is a good age to become a mother...especially since you are so confident and stable physically, financially and mentally strong. But just take care next time you conceive as you would need a lot of rest to have your child in complete health. Dont worry about your miscarriage now and concentrate on your health. Good Luck...Lots of baby dust.

Answer 10

what happened to your child was unfortunate. it was never your mistake that you had a miscarriage, the fetus/baby isnt just lucky...

who said that you cant have a baby at 17? maybe your parents, relatives, friends, since it is still considered as a minor BUT from the moment you start your 'period' any woman is capable of bearing a child if they undergone s*x...

i can't come up with a GENUINE reason why you shouldn't have a child now because :

1. i have no right

2. we dont know each other

3. you have your own life

4. importantly, you have the freedom to choose what you want from the moment you knew whats right and wrong for you...

i do not know how to console you on what happend to your child, because as a mother it is unbearably painful BUT ... life does not stop there Ms.17/18, you need to accept what happened and stop thinking that it was your mistake... you NEED TO MOVE FORWARD Ms.17/18...

now lastly, if both of you want to have a child, then do it... coz it is your choice, do not be afraid that something bad will happen again... be confident with yourself as a future mother, be strong as a future mother... because your courage will bear A BEAUTIFUL CHILD...

i wrote a lot, i just felt i need to say something...

have a good life

Answer 11

Most people on here will write nasty, stupid, assuming comments about you because your 17 etc!

BUT DON'T LISTEN TO THEM THEIR IDIOTS!!!

If your ready to have baby do it you've obviously thought it through.

Just don't try too hard, let it happen naturally and then you won't get upset if you don't get pregnant straight away.

I must say people do tend to look down on you when your a teenager and pregnant especially under 18, they don't look at what you've acheived, how financially stable you are, how successfull you are they just look at your age. I'm 18 and 22 weeks pregnant and people always criticise me and look down their nose at me, you've just got to ignore them and rise above it.

Good Luck xx

Answer 12

god ... that sucks... but back when i was like 8... my mother would cry every day because my sister had died in a car wreck, we lived in a condo and it was hard enough... but every day she was in bed crying... could you imagine a 16 year old girl pregnant then having to go through something like that?

Answer 13

Yeah, you have made it clear you are too immature to have a child by asking this question.

Answer 14

If you want to have a child and you feel that you are financialy stable and ready then there's no reason that you can't have one  

Answer 15

I dont think it bad that u were pregnant at 17, or even trying again for a baby at 17.. Sorry for your loss! Im 17 and i'll be 17 weeks pregnant tomorow! If i misscaried i think i would try for another baby myself! things has changed so much since ive been pregnant and i couldnt imagin life without my baby now. Im also in a strong relationship! Wishin u all the luck hun. Go for it! you'll make a great mum. no matter what anyone else says! Aslong as uve got love and support :) thats all u need x

Answer 16

if that's honestly what you want  - go for it

the only reason not to is that i think it'd be nice for you to be able to go out a bit, as a couple and seprate without any worrys and enjoying a bit of freedom before 'settling down'

there's no right or wrong answer here, it doesn't matter what people think if you and your partner are happy thats all the counts

good luck x

Answer 17

I don't think you need anyone to tell you what to do!!  You live your life for YOU and forget everyone else.  Sounds to me that you and your fiance' have already made up your mind.  I knew I wanted children young and no one was going to stop me either.  Some people just march to a different drum than other people and there is nothing wrong with it as long as you don't expect anything from outsiders.  

No, there is no specific age where you "magicallly" become old enough or mature enough or ready enough to have a baby.  That is a personal decision that only you and your mate can decide.  

Try not to worry so much about what other people are thinking about you and live your life for YOU and what makes you happy.

Good luck to you.

Answer 18

The decision is entirely yours. Your situation sounds ideal. Home, partner, car etc.....

But i would say to you enjoy your partner first. Have holidays abroad, travel, go out, enjoy yourselves. Once baby comes along life is NEVER the same again. Partner may take second place. Which he may not like!

Answer 19

There is no reason why you should not.  Age is just a number, if you & ur man are ready & can support baby & its obvious you both would love baby then why not.  There are a lot of narrow minded ppl out there hun so do not let them judge you.  A lot of ppl on this site are very self righteous its pathetic.  I am so sorry for your loss, I also suffered a miscarriage at 17, then proceeded to have full term pregnancy at 18.  I have always supported my son - not on benefits or in council housing.  There are ppl who are in 30s who bring kids up on benefits etc so who is anyone to judge you.  Go for it & good luck!! xx

Answer 20

You and your fiance both sound very responsible, and completely able to support your child, but having a child affects 3 lives and you must consider ALL those lives.  What I'm trying to say is that even though you may be the best parents in the world, you must also think about how this is going to affect you and the baby's father.  There are still many opportunities that will present themselves in your young lives that you will be unable to jump on if you have a child.  If you ask anyone that has had a child at an early age, they will tell you that, while they love their child, they wish they had waited to have that child.  You would be hard pressed to find someone that would NOT say they had been negatively impacted in some way by having that child early.

Answer 21

You should wait 3 months after having a miscarriage to start trying to conceive again.

Another thing, I think you should wait to have a baby until after you are married. You are going to get married, so why not wait until then? Then you won't have to explain to your child later on why he is x years old and you have only been married for x amount of years.

Answer 22

im 17 and 30weeks pregnant i have my baby 3months befor my 18th i have my friends and family around i have a job for after the baby is born and doing a evening course at college i dont see what people have agenst teen mums iv been looking after my baby brother since he was six months old i no what to do but becuase im 17 people are so mean about it gd luck with everythin and sorry about ur loss x

Answer 23

If you are both ready for the responsibility of a child together why don't you get married and then try to conceive??

Answer 24

If it will make you happy go for it and it sounds like you are mentally ready so why not! age isnt really something that should have much of an impact, as long as you are of legal age, are financially sercure and in a stable relationship. As you are all of these i would say go for it in my opinion. No matter what anyone says on here the decision is yours so do what you feel is right!

Answer 25

A personal view only.  I think you should wait until you are at least in your 20s.  You have got your whole life in front of you to enjoy with your partner/husband, I feel you will be losing out on many things if you have a child now.

Answer 26

Sometimes it's just tough to get and stay pregnant. I think a lot of it has to do with the stuff in our food, but probably most is due to the flaws of nature.

I'm proud of you for being mature and responsible with your life.  

Answer 27

Jesus, The time I got to the end of that lot I had forgotten the beginning

Answer 28

dude you should totally try hookin'.

Answer 29

I think there are a few factors that you could take into consideration. first, your family & friends - will they be there to support you? what are their views on it? You need to make sure they are there behind you every step, especially your parents.

your finances - are you able to bring up a child? buy clothes, food, other necessities, school, all that.

your goals - does it tie in/cut through any of the things you want to do? like i know for a fact that it's pretty tough going to school with a baby on the side, but that is a place where your family can step in and help as well.

i'm guessing you've already considered all these things to a degree, and i hope that you are ready to bring up someone to be the best they can be, not just so you have something else to do (like so many people i've seen - it doesn't work, btw). hope that helps!

Answer 30

No there is no reason you and your partner shouldn't have a child.

I had my son when I was 22, and my husband was 27. He has a good job, and I stay at home and look after our baby.

No one has the right to make you feel too young, As long as your bringing the baby into the relationship for the right reasons.

It just sounds like it's the right time for you.

I got married at 20 and everyone warned me against it, but they where all wrong.

Some people wont accept it. there jealous that your well adjusted and happy, I'm sorry to hear about your heart break and good luck!

Answer 31

i believe that teenagers only mess up by having babies when they cant support a baby...i am like you..im 18 my pregnant girlfriend is 17..i found out that shes pregnant just a couple hours ago...we are both really excited...we can both support our child...she has a part time job that shes had for about 2 years now...and i work full time in retail...we both make decent money and we are planning on moving in together once she turns 18 which is at the end of this school year