I'm 17, never had a boyfriend or kissed anyone. Is there something wrong with me?

Question

Everyone i know has kissed people and everything. all my friends have kissed someone and I feel so left out. I get so sad about it that i even cry. i know it's pathetic but I feel so stupid and ugly. my best friend always has a bunch of guys flocking to her and is always talking about how she's hanging out with this guy and that guy and all these guys are in love with her and she doesn't know who to choose. she's having s*x and everything and I feel so left out. i'm a little bit jealous about it too. there she is breaking these guys hearts for the stupidest reasons and i get mad about that. i feel so immature because I've never kissed a guy or had a boyfriend. I just want someone to hug and ****. People say I'm really pretty and guys flirt with me when I'm in public but for some reason i can't get a boyfriend. all my relatives ask me why i don't have a boyfriend. i get so sad about it and i don't think i have a lot of self esteem because of it. my friends say i'm too picky and my friend says it's probably because white guys don't like hispanic girls (I go to a white school) and that the hispanic guys are "whitewashed". i don't know if that's true. i did notice that only hispanic and black guys hit on me. but still I feel like c**p and I'm so embarassed. even if a guy did want to kiss me, i don't think i would want to, because i'd be too scared to tell him i don't know how to kiss a person. i'm scared too because no guy will want me because i'm so inexperienced.

Answer 1

Those experiences you mentioned is not a standard to determine your maturity at all. It's true that some girls appear more attractive, but that's not a reason for all girl to be that attractive.

Beside being physically attractive is kinda burden too, you have to be wise to manage your relationships. Being different is not pathetic at all, you just different from your friends. You'll surely meet the right persons that suits u the most at the right time. Just keep in faith....

I proved it.

Answer 2

don't worry about it any guy will want you.  

Answer 3

im a guy and i use to have the same sort of issue with girls, i always felt so awkward around them although they always thought i was like really hot, until i met this girl erin, i was able to completly open up and be myself around her and we kissed, messed around, had s*x and everything between, dated for a year and half, that boosted my confidence, were broken up now as of like 2 years but, i have no problem with girls now, everything is so comfortable and ive kissed alot of girls since. but yea find a guy that your interested in and just completly be yourself and open up to him and let him know what your going through, if he has a problem with it then the h**l with him, find a real man. since the whole dating and kissing thing will be a new experience for you, yes it might be a little nerve wrecking at first, but once you get over it, you will feel alot better and confident about yourself. so find someone you like and go in for the kill lol putting it off is only going to make it harder and harder, good luck ;)

Answer 4

i have the same problem and i'm 17 too!  i guess the only thing to do is keep trying.  you said you had low self-esteem, so maybe try to work on that.  i've always been shy, so i'm trying to be more outgoing, or at least appear to be more outgoing.  even if you have low self-esteem you could just try to hide it by smiling and appearing confident.  i'm also trying to work on my flirting tips lol...maybe that will work.  good luck!

Answer 5

SNAPP THE h**l OUT OF IT!  YOU SOUND PERFECTLY NORMAL TO ME! The one that is already having s*x and has all these guys and blah blah blah, well there's a name for chix like that and it isnt "lady"......you are 17, and trust me there is no rush......I am hispanic, I have a son with a white guy who all he dates are hispanic girls! He has blond hair blue eyes and a blond could never get his attention as long as a hispanic girl is in the vicinity!lol......skin color has nothing to do when it comes to worthwhile physical attraction.......perhaps you dont have all these guys trying to kiss and have s*x with you because you dont carry yourself like a hoe.....which happens to be a good thing these days.....if you feel needy you need to reevaluate yourself and realize that you 17 and you shouldnt be  porking evry guy you think is hott and will do you.....honey if your trying to have s*x believe you me....men rarely say no....if your not having s*x its cause deep down inside your not trying, and you shouldnt be....youre 17! Have standards....be selective.....perhaps you already kbnow that and you are being silly saying all those things.....you can look at things your way....waaa waaa waaaa.....or you can think like a classy lady who has lots to offer and wont settle for a guy who would have s*x with just about anybody anyway......know yourself, enjoy people in a healthy way.....your reputation depends on it and that one thing you can not change........good luck!oh ya....remember when your worried all the white guys dont like spanish chix....different strokes for different folks....

Answer 6

idk what  to tell u but there are some ppl out there que le gustan to be the first one. maybe yo should talk less with that friend of your that keeps talking about guys i bet u thats all bull **** and she just want u to get jealous. y te apuesto que gringo como esos hay bastante.and  when they ask u if ur u a virgin just tell them yes. but dont tell them about the kissing ****. dale i hope this help  

Answer 7

Well theres nothing weird about it. There has been many cute/good look/attractive girls that have gone through the samething. Its just that people get more opportunities than others.

I'm 22 Now and only kissed a girl about 8 months ago.. I also never had a girlfriend. The reason for that is because I never found anyone I like and most of the girls i talked to basically already had a boyfriend.

Answer 8

Don't focus on other people and how their relationships are like and just give the whole bf gf thing a break for a while focus on something eles maybe your school grades and stuff and before you know it some lucky guy will want you

Answer 9

not trying to be mean but yes.

dont be afraid to go out and ask someone out to the movie or food. u gotta get in the game start with the boys that flirt with u

Answer 10

well im like the same but im a guy and im 16. i can hang out with groups of girls and guys in public and be comfortable and flirt and stuff like that but i just cant handle 1 on 1 for some reason. anyway, im white and i think mexican girls are cute too.

it might be that you arent outgoing enough, or arent good for society's social/fashion standards. i hate that it goes that way for me.

but i think once we are out of highschool people will grow up and accept people for who they are

Answer 11

Oh sweetheart, you so sound like me when I was 17. I would go to dances and flirt with guys but thought I would die if one actually came on to me. I got my first kiss at 18, and it was with a boy a lot like me who was really shy and practically didn't know what to do. I just think you need to relax and not think about what everyone else is doing. Believe me, the boys will come, and they will come by the hundreds. I think you just need to build confidence with one boy, and then you will feel a lot better.

Answer 12

the longer you wait, the better kiss you'll have. Plus, most of your freinds probley just wasted there first kiss insted of it being speical.

Answer 13

just be yourself...i had no idea what to do when i had my first kiss.. be up front with them.. and get them in the mood by sayin "maybe i need some practice" and just go for it.. never live life wondering what could've been...

Answer 14

my situation is the same as yours. I feel that dating is kind of pointless because there will end up being a breakup anyways. High school guys are extremely immature and shallow and I would personally prefer to wait until college to have a steady relationship.

There is nothing wrong with waiting and it will come when it is the right time for you!

Answer 15

You're not deformed, different, or a "late bloomer", you're one of the lucky girls who doesn't have to put up with all the c**p that teenage boys can give you. I'm 20, still a virgin, and I've kissed two guys and never had a boyfriend. At first I was upset, but when I really look at my friend's lives and the boys they've had to put up with, I feel so much better knowing that when I do finally meet a guy, it'll be that much more important because I didn't kiss every third guy I met.

If you meet a guy, and you like him, tell him upfront when things are getting serious that you don't know how to kiss. Any decent guy will know what to do. That's what I did, and it was just fine. If a guy says he doesn't want you because you're inexperienced, then he only wanted you for the physical stuff anyway, which I'm sure you know is wrong.

As for the whole hispanic/white thing, I doubt guys are thinking that, but if they are, you're better off without them. The easy thing about being a girl is that boys really show you who they are by the way they treat you, and they sort themselves out.

Answer 16

it is perfectly alright to be picky. you don't want to be like your friend, and only have guys around because you put out. that's so degrading. you want a guy that wants to spend time with you because he likes you, not because you are easy. you are almost at college age already. many people find their spouses at college, so don't worry, i think the best is yet to come for you. and when you find that guy, have no fear, the kissing will just come naturally- it isn't a big deal, honest- stop worrying so much, Mr. Right is out there waiting for you.

Answer 17

I don't think race matters to most people, but it makes for exciting talk in high school and beyond. I'm guessing you give off signals that say to guys to stay back. Start with a natural smile and hold eye contact. Be ready with some casual things to talk about. Go ahead and be bold if you find a guy you're really interested in getting to know. Give him your phone number or ask him if he wants to go somewhere with you. The worst they can do is say no. But if you don't take a chance you'll be in the same situation a year from now.  

Answer 18

I didn't have a boyfriend though high school cause I had low self esteem too. I found out to just be yourself and know who you are and what you want. It all starts with loving yourself. And if a guy doesn't like you for who you are he's not worth the pain and it's his loss. Open your eyes to. I found out years later there where many guys who liked me. Give guys you think you wouldn't date a chance. Like the shy nerdy guys. They may not be "cool" but can be the greatest guys. Ask guys out yourself.  1 out of 10 times your bound to find someone.

Answer 19

I think there are a lot of people who have this problem. I am 21 and still haven't kissed anyone or had a boyfriend yet. I used to think something is wrong with me and sometimes I still wonder how it will be when my first boyfriend finds out how inexperienced I am.

I don't think your ethnicity is an issue at all.

And it's fine to be picky. Why would you want to make out with someone unless they were worth it?

Answer 20

Wanting someone to "hug and ****" is not a good reason to be with a guy. If you choose to enter a relationship, it's because the other person makes you happy you, you like being with them, and they have similar values. Your self-esteem should not depend on another person's opinion of you.

Answer 21

i'm in the same boat! i'm 17 too, and my friend has been having s*x since last year, and all my friends seem to be rounding the bases, and i'm left sitting on the bench!  

i feel the same way (partly why i found your question).  when i go on vacation boys whistle, or flirt or what-not but, i've had no luck with finding a boyfriend.

BUT the bottom line is that i don't think it'll matter all the much in the end.  Having more s*x, or boyfriends will not get you a better husband, or job, or life in general.  

And what i tell myself is that if a guy doesn't want me because of being inexperienced, he's the one with the problem, and if its meant to go somewhere everything will come naturally, and if it doesn't oh well, everybody has their awkward moments, right?

and look at the movie Never Been Kissed....she waited and it turned out to be a fairytale ending!

Answer 22

Don't worry about it! Once you do get a boyfriend or you start talking to someone if they even have an ounce of care for you it won't matter that you've never had a bf before or had a kiss. If they do then they weren't in it for anything good anyways. They might even be excited to be your first and help you out. But really don't worry, everyone's day will come, yours just hasn't yet, but maybe you should ask your friend to include you in some activities when she's hanging out with all the guys who flock to her, and you'll find yourself someone. (:

Good luck!

Oh, and if it helps at all i personally know a bunch of white guys who find Hispanics very pretty, and i live in a town with very few Hispanics or blacks. Again, good luck.  

Answer 23

awww there is nothing wrong with you!!!! its good to have high standards! i liked this quote about how girls are like apples on trees the best ones are on the top and the bruised and bad ones are on the bottoms. boys like wat they can get so they reach for the ones on the bottom. you just have to hold out and wait for the right one to come along and climb the tree to get the good apples. hope this helps :)