I'm 17 and I think I'm a loser. Please help me!?

Question

I'm 17. I haven't had a friend (my age or from my school) in more than 10 years. I've never been in a relationship with a girl, not even kissed a girl. Even though I am good looking (i've modeled for a while), i'm not confident, i have low self-esteem. i am smart, but because i can never think of something to say, i say something that doesn't make sense or nothing at all. i'm not completely antisocial, in school i will try to talk to people, but within 30 seconds, people blow me off. the only way i talk to people my age is when we're working together in school. since i don't have a mom, and my best friend, my dad just died, i now feel obligated to have a social life with people my age before i turn into one of those freaks that hide in the corner. any advice to help my situation (with friends and girls) will be appreciated.

Answer 1

step one STOP STOP STOP putting yourself down no one wants to hang out with a debbie downer. step two i havent kissed a girl either and im 16 its not a big deal it'll happen when it does don't force it. step three gain confidence best way to do it is in a comfortable enviroment i just transferred schools so i kinda know how you feel dont be shy just have a proactive attitude. step fourjust dont say weird stuff say stuff that you would want to  hear from a new person you just met. well good luck email if you need more help

Answer 2

Well unfortunately I think most people at your school probably already have an idea about you and won't be interested in just going up and talking to you.  You have to go up and talk to them. If this all doesn't work, just hopefully if and when you go to college, all of this will change. People are especially willing to meet new people in college since they're so far away from their friends and family. It'll be easier then, and since you're 17, it won't be that much longer.  Just hang in there!  It may not be the coolest way to meet people, but if you have a myspace, just try and strike up a conversation with someone who has something in common with you.  A small friendship may ensue. Just do NOT get clingy. It may be difficult if you get a friend, especially if they're your only friend, but don't make them get annoyed of you.

Answer 3

I am going to share my words of wisdom with you because I am JUST like you.  However, I am 25 and have never been in a relationship/kissed anyone, and am not very social either.  I honestly recommend that you talk to a counselor/therapist.  I avoided it for years because I was scared to go, and I finally started going this year, and she has really been helping me to figure out why I am like I am and what I can do, specifically, to become more social and more connected with everyone else.  Even if you are scared to go, you need to tell yourself that the smart thing is to ask for help.  It might be a little weird the first session, but they really do help you, and you don't even have to talk much if you don't want to.  I am telling you this because I should have gone years ago and look how long I waited.  I honestly think that this will help you too.  I don't want you to have to wait until you're 25 like I did.  

Answer 4

Soory about your Mom and your Dad.  That sucks.  First of all you have to change you attitude about yourself.  You are not a loser.  If that is what you think about yourself then that is the way others will perceive you.  Just keep being friendly with people the way that you have been.  All people go though the same things that you are going through they just hide it and handle it differntly.  For you to model you would have to be nice looking so don't be so down on yourself.  It is good that you don't think that you are God's gift of men because that is a turn off to girls.  Just keep being yourself but just be friendlier.  You may think that people are blowing you off but really they aren't.  I want you to feel obligated to have a social life because these are the best years of your life at school.  This should be a special time for you to look back on when you get like like me and reflect on those times.  You will be fine.  You are just a little depressed too it seems.  You have had a lot go one recently and it just takes some time to absorb everything.  Hang in there and know you do have friends.  You will hook up with the right group of people.  Beleive me, there are a thousand other people in your school that feel the same exact way that you do.  Good luck to you!

Answer 5

Really sorry about your dad - that's awful!

You need to try to have a positive attitude and draw the kind of people you want to be friends with to yourself. Think good thoughts and smile, be friendly. Think everyone DOES want to be friends with you - it WORKS!

I would also advise you getting some grief counseling because losing a parent is very difficult and it will help to talk to someone. Stress and grief can cause imbalances in your brain chemistry that will affect your self-esteem, your moods and your thoughts. I went through clinical depression after a lot of stress and it was like my brain just said one day, "Okay, I'm going to quit making that chemical you need now! I'm done!" and it was really bad. I thought people hated me, I had a very low opinion of myself and all of this got really bad - I was sick! I had to be hospitalized because I had ignored warning signs of depression (I didn't cry, but I was irritable, didn't eat and didn't sleep much). Once I had therapy and the right medication - I felt like brand new! It was amazing. It wasn't the pills making me happy - my brain chemistry was right - I could feel it and I got my old happy self and thoughts back! If you need to see a doctor about it - it's okay! My cousin is your age and he is in treatment too right now. He's a brilliant kid with everything going for him.

It would be good to hang out with a group - go to the movies, go get pizza, get involved in a club. Invite some people over - get into your life and LIVE IT!