I'm 18, 9 weeks pregnant, and my boyfriend (ex) wants nothing to do with me?

Question

About 2 weekends ago me and my boyfriend of 7 months went camping with his family and few friends. He drank all weekend and became a mean drunk. We ended up fighting and making up all weekend and on the day we were to leave and go back home, he got drunk (of course). Me being the worry type I tried to stop him from leaving when we got in a huge fight, he left me with the tent and everything else to clean up. Later that night he apologized and we made up, but we were still on ruff terms. We've been fighting on and off and I hate it, so we get into another horrible fight and break up. The day after I decided to take a pregnancy test, just to see, I mean I haven't had my period all summer so it started to scare me. It came out positive. Me and my boyfriend have had plenty of talks of what I would do, and I always said I'd get an abortion, but now looking at it that's alot easier said that done. He's demanding I get an abortion and I don't know what i want to do. He thinks I'm not listening to him, but I am. Everything he's saying about how we have no money saved up, we cant even have a relationship, we're too young (he's 21), and that our child is gonna have nothing and be poor. I think the same things, and I know I'm gonna be missing out on so much, all my friends are going to college and parties while I sit at home and be pregnant. I didnt plan getting pregnant and thats another thing that my boyfriend thinks because his brothers girlfriend got pregnant and lied and now his brothers trapped. I guess what my question is, is what do I do? I know this baby didnt do anything to me or him, so why should I kill it? Its not the babys fault, and because I've seen the ultrasound and heard the heartbeat, I'm attached. But my boyfriend hates me and says if I have an abortion things will be better and we'll be back together. But if I dont, he wants nothing to do with me or the baby.

Answer 1

Don't kill your baby because of some man not worth being with.

There are a lot of single moms. You will be fine and better for it NOT to have a jerk like him in your life.

Good luck

Answer 2

I'm sorry you have been put in this situation. I agree that GOD does not make mistakes and that this happened to you for a reason. If you do not want to abort...DON'T! It's your choice, not his. And if your ex has been acting that way I do not think I would want him around the child anyway. If his name is on the birth certificate, he will eventually have to take a DNA test to prove that it is his or not. And when the court finds out that it is his. He will have to pay child support whether he wants to or not (or he will go to jail). Do not be scarred of being a single parent. My grandmother and my grandfather had 9 KIDS. Then he left her for another women. She did an amazing job all by herself so do not let anyone tell you that you can't do it because you can. There are plenty of places you can get help from. There are programs like WIC that help with all the things you will need for you and the baby. There are also support groups that can help too. I actually wrote to some diaper companies and formula companies and they sent me coupons and other things that would help in the first year and my husband and I couldn't be happier. Everything will work out for you and I know you will make the right decision for YOU!

Congratulations on your miracle and hope this helps.

Answer 3

DO NOT LET THIS BOY BULLY YOU INTO KILLING YOUR CHILD!!  From your story he doesn't really care for you anyway.  You shouldn't want to be in a relationship with an abusive drunk.  Things will get worse for you if you stay with him.  As far as him not wanting to get involved with the child that's HIS choice, BUT, he will be required to pay child support and if he doesn't he will go to jail.  That's the law.  You should concentrate now on your health and making sure that you have a healthy baby.  Children give unconditional love which is something your "EX" knows nothing about!  Don't ruin your life over some man who doesn't want you anyway.

Answer 4

Keep it. No you won't be able to give your baby everything he/she deserves if you don't have they money saved up but a baby doesn't deserve to die just because you didn't save money. I am pro-choice but don't think it should be used as a way to keep a man. My hubby is 22 and we have a 15 month old together and another one the way. I also have a 6yr old he is helping me with (I am 23). We in no way have money saved up but he works and i go to school and we are making do.Our kids are happy and healthy.

Why would you consider an abortion just for him? Obviously he isn't a great guy or he would have never told you that. You don't need him. He will still have to have something to do with the baby because he will have to pay for it for the rest of its life.

If you really didn't want to keep it that would be one thing (and not being able to go out with friends and such is also not a reason not to keep it, i haven't been able to every actually go out and have fun like a carefree teenager since i was 15, and I don't regret it for a minute. when all my friends were telling me how they felt bad I couldn't go out I always told them I would rather sit at home every single day with my baby then go out partying one night if it meant I got to keep my baby) .

Let him hate you, he did it too, not just you. Keep the baby.  

Answer 5

Hi, You need a new man. Follow your heart and do what you think is right.  Don't do something you will regret for the rest of your life.

Answer 6

I would say s***w him you better off without him...even tho my mom gave me up when she was 16 my grandma raised me and she wasn't rich she just worked her *** off and still does for my 14 year old brother...                        

                                       anyways

so sometimes money is not a thing...he would not be a good father anyways because he is a drunk and a mean person to you. my bf is 16 and works his *** off to take care of me and pays the bills and is so supportive...so that just show that he is 21 and is so immature and wrong.  I would just have the baby without his being around and just get his butt for child support. Your baby doesn't deserve an abortion.

And when that baby is born that will be the only thing that matters and he will be nothing....show him your girl  power you can do anything without a man....good luck  

Answer 7

If he wants to kill his own child, he doesn't deserve you or the baby.  If you make that decision for him he will continue to use and abuse you.  Don't make a decision that you will end up regretting for the rest of your life.  It sounds like he is into his own life anyway and puts himself first if he gets drunk and leaves you with all the clean up and everything, as hard as it may be you should let him go.  Good Luck!

Answer 8

Just remember baby comes first you would never forgive yourself if you had an abortion and then your boyfriend refused to get back together with you.  I hope it all works out for you hun. Family planning clinic have a counselling service.

Answer 9

i am 9 weeks pregnant to, but this is my 3rd. do not let your boyfriend decide what to do, if you do not want an abortion don't do it.  have you considered adoption? their are several unable to have kids that would love to adopt. remember a baby is a gift from GOD and GOD does not make mistakes! hope this helps and good luck

Answer 10

Not sure how I came across this question, but I figured you might want a perspective from a (not so typical) guy...

From what you've told us, only one thing is clear to me - your "ex" is a bum.  Any guy who "demands" you have an abortion is not worthy of being anyone's boyfriend, let alone a significant other, fiance or husband.

While not the most glamorous situation in the world, your life is nowhere near over because you're pregnant at 18.  My baby sister got pregnant at 19, finished college in 5 years, and now has an excellent job as an RN.  It wasn't easy, but she had the right attitude, worked hard, and got things done (with a little help from her friends and family).

This is a decision you need to make on your own.  I don't have the right answer.  But I will tell you this -- regardless of what you do with your child... staying with this guy is the best chance you have of throwing your life away.

You have your entire life in front of you - take control and don't allow yourself to be influenced by those who put their own interests first.

Answer 11

Unfortunately young men tend to do this. They get scared at some point during the pregnancy when you start to show and reality kicks in, then they go on this major rampage drinking and not coming home and the girls calling are not just friends, please don't be fooled, women don't call men at 3am just to say "what's up", they've got intentions behind it and being a woman i'd hope you know that!!

There's nothing you can really do about it, but considering how he is being it's probably not going to change anytime soon and when he reaches the "bar" age (21) it will be worse. You on the other hand will be just fine, women are strong and made for things like this, we know how to handle them. You go about your pregnancy and don't stress, you could harm the baby stressing about this pathetic little man, and your baby is the most important right now and forever will be. You will raise this child to be respectful and not act in that manner that the father does. You will be fine and act as though nothing bothers you that for some reason tends to bother men, they want you miserable over them and not happy or going out...don't even give him the pleasure. Also you'd be surprised how many good guys like pregnant women!!! lol

Answer 12

I was in a very similar situation about 5 months ago, so I totally know how you feel.  I spent some time talking to counselors, and realized that what my boyfriend wanted should not influence my decision, because it was my body and my choice.  We had talked about what would happen if I got pregnant, and I always said I would keep it, but as soon as we found out I was pregnant, he was insistent that I get an abortion, and did the same guilt tripping thing to me as your boyfriend is doing.  He told me it was messed up that I would bring a baby into the world when we were too young (I don't think we're that young, 20 and 22) don't have enough money, aren't married, gonna be poor, etc.  But the more I sat back and thought about it, the situation was not that bad.  We both work full time, we live together, we've been together for 4 years, and whether we stay together or not should not be a factor.  don't have an abortion because you're afraid your boyfriend will break up with you.  truth is, if you do, you will probably break up with him because you will always resent him for asking you to make that choice, and he will remind you of something you're not proud of.  In my situation, I decided to keep the baby, and although he was mad as h**l and said some awful things to me when I first told him, he is so excited about his son now, and can't wait to meet him.  I can't guarantee this is how your boyfriend will be, but if he isn't, then he's not worth your time anyways.  I understand you think you're missing out on being young, but think of everything you would be gaining.  and if you end up having to be a single mother, you'll be okay.  try talking to a close family member if you have one.  realizing I had the support of my family made all the difference in the world to me.  good luck and I hopeyou make the decision that is best for you.  

Answer 13

if he cared or loved you...he wouldnt ask you do that..its like for example...a kid tells another kid...hey if u give me your toy i'll be your friend geeez i have to do something just to be your friend well thats no friend...same in your case he tells you to get an abortion and everything will be okay...like it was i THINK NOT...that isnt fair to you...and it isnt fair to the baby...there is plenty of loving couples out there that have been trying for years and havent been able to conceive your lucky...you will look back and regret it someday i know...so...i will think long and hard if you dont think you can raise this child well give it to a loving and caring family..that will be able too

Answer 14

Your strong enough to do it alone.. keep the baby. Get away from him. They do not do abortions after 8 weeks. You would be killing someone..

He is a JERK and too immature to even be having s*x if he can't handle the consequences. If he LOVED you those words would have never came out of his mouth.

Goodluck girl!

Answer 15

Don't believe him. He doesn't want anything to do with you whether or not you have this baby. But, if you have this baby, he has no choice but to support you. You knew the risks when you had s*x, and you seem willing to own up to it, you know this baby didn't ask to be conceived, but it disgusts me that this guy will lay with you and make a baby, but he doesn't want anything to do with it or you now. Girl, you do not have to compromise your innocence and have an abortion. Especially not for him. I think by reading this I can tell you have already made the decision to keep this baby and that there is no changing that. So congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Just remember that God doesn't give us anything we won't be able to handle. Good luck!

Answer 16

You will NOT get back together if you abort. It never works that way. And honestly, it sounds like you're better off without him anyway.

If you don't want to raise the kid without him, or think you can't care for the child, you can give them up for adoption. If you want to keep the child you can sue him for child support later on to help you out. Good luck.