I'm 18, and know I'm too young to have a baby. But I REALLY want one, is that wrong?

Question

Like, I've wanted a baby since I was 17. I had a misscarraige about a year ago. And now, I just want one so I can care for it, and have something to live for. And look into it's eyes and just feel free and full of life. That's why I like babysitting little 4 month olds. I just take one look into their eyes and I see what they can be, what they're GOING to be. I want one so I can teach it to be free and loving. The guy who I had the misscarraige with is still in my life. I also had another one about couple months back. The father denied me even being pregnant, he put a LOT of stress on me and I lost it. And last night my friends throat got slit, and he survived [thank god!] but the first thing that he told me, is that he's happy to be alive because he has a family.

I just want someone to live for, and a child is the ONLY thing that will make me live forever.

Is this wrong?

I don't have a job, I live at home with my parents, I have no car, no liscence. But is this REALLY wrong?

Answer 1

It is not wrong of you to want a baby.  Thats just in a womans nature.  However...DO NOT BE IN A HURRY!  Once that baby is here, thats it!  No turning back.  You are still soooo young.  Think about it-you can't even buy a beer, and yet you want to bring a child into this world.  Babysitting and being a mom and two totally different worlds!  Belive me!!  Its great that you can see a child innocents through its eyes, but along with that will come headaches for you.  Not to mention you don't have a job.  Can't raise a child on nothing.  And it wouldn't excatly be fantastic of you to rely on anyone to help because then YOU would not be a true parent.  Just relax..enjoy your life now, you have the rest of it to fill it up with kids down the road.  Get to college and a job..then worry about kids...after all...your still one yourself.

Answer 2

no hun its not wrong at all but it is lil early to have a baby u should 1st stable urself get good study and good job good living place get merry then have kids that time will be perfect to have a child and remeber kids need both parents mom n dad.now u r mature enough to decide.

Answer 3

It's not wrong to want a baby, but it is wrong to try for one if you aren't financially ready and its wrong to have one just for yourself so that you feel you have something to live for. Wait until you can give the baby the best life you can and be patient. You'll probably be a wonderful loving mother someday, but in the meantime get a good job, definately get your driver's license! Maybe start dating and looking for serious relationships with good stable, loving people, educate yourself, save money and maybe get a puppy to care for until you get to the point you're ready for a baby.

Answer 4

noo not at all , i got pregnant at 16 & had a misscarriage ... since then i felt empty & wanted a baby even tho i knew i was young and not yet ready .. well i got pregnant again at 19 [from the same person] & i was soo happy , im preg. now & still happy as ever but jus wish i wouldve thought things out more & worked on gettin my own place & having money saved up, cus now its kind of stressful.. but i look at it like this .. if its something you really want , you can do it !!

- & as weird as i thought this was .. my doctor tol me 19 is a perfect age to get pregnant ?!?! =\

Answer 5

No, it's completely normal.

But take off the rose coloured glasses. You will NOT look into your baby's eyes and feel full of life. Most of the time you will look into your baby's eyes wishing desperately that he/she would stop screaming, and frantic for more than two hours' sleep at a stretch. And you can teach all you like - but not all kids are loving and not all kids fulfil their potential.

And yes, it's wrong right now. Babies cost money. Who's going to pay?

Answer 6

i dont think your young i think im too young...im 13 and want a baby..this is wrong for me bnut i had a misscarraige when just turned 13 by boyfriend is 15 and he is the one who put this tought in my head and now i want 1 sooo bad.but if we do we dont know how we will suport it our parents will be pissed.his parent will make him leave me and forget about his kid.and if we get kicked out we dont have a nice place to live.yeah he works and gets bank but thts cuz he works with his family.he wants one sooo bad tht he already talks to his cuz and if we have a baby we will move to san diego to live with him he will still work with him cousin.but wats a good thing is tht he has a car so we would be able to move with out ppl knowing.but whats going to suck is we will have to live on our own,pay our own rent,his pay check will have to go to the baby all of his money will have to plus food 4 the baby,ill have to drop out of school,he might have to,to.and we will have to do everything on our own.no help from our parents,no help from friends,just me and him.we wont be able to come back home,our family will dis own us,and it will be hard havin my baby be in kinder/1st and ask me how come im in still in high school and daddy isnt.so thts somethign u have to think about before u have a baby its hard having a misscarraige.i know how u feel when u lose a baby actually i lost one a couple days ago me and my boyfriend were soo happy until he got tht phone call and heard me say im srry u lost ur dadds lil girl.but u have tothink about it.and what if ur babys daddy tell u oh ill be there for u and the baby if u get prengant and then he just leaves u once u tell him ur pregnant u will be a only parent raising a kid and m sis was 18 when she had my niece it sooo hard for he she always needs a baby-sitter,she is always broke cuz the money goes to buying pull ups and clothes,and paying the school for my niece to go to school.like rite now im baby-sitting this adhd kid which is hard and its changing my mind on having a kid.im not saying i hate her its just really hard 4 her to calm downa nd stuff like tht.but u have to think about things and sit ur bf down if u have one and talk to him about it and agree tht he will be with u the hole time and help u and u will help him too

Answer 7

Iam sure there are plenty of fellas willing to give you one

Answer 8

It's not "wrong". It's just stupid.

Answer 9

you have your family! You shouldnt worry about a baby now! It is sad but true how a baby can mess up your life! You think you want a baby but when you have it you stay up for hours on end with no sleep and you will get tired of it! The best think to do is borrow someone elses baby and play with it when its happy and give it back when its mad like baby sitting! You should watch that show the baby borrowers! Its about teen couples who have to take care of babies and realize they dont want one now! You should wait! Till ur absolutly sure! My dad was going to be in a big band as the lead guitarist, but i came along unexpectidly and now he paints houses for a living

Answer 10

I hope this is a joke, you have no job. Car and License is not as big of a deal though it would make your life easier having them. You can certainly take public transportation. How would you even provide for a baby? When you cant even provide for yourself.  A child will not make you live forever please get a reality check before you bring life into this world. Having a baby is not going to make you feel free. Its likely to eventually make you feel trapped. You should also have something to live for besides having a baby.  If you don’t feel you do you should seek professional help.

You also need to get a job if your seriously want to have a  kid, work for 3 or 4 years save up your money.  

You need to get a puppy or kitten.

Answer 11

that is wrong...not because of ur age but because of ur reason for a baby...u should already have something to live for, which is urself, he has a family but think why he actually said that...its nto that he had them to live for its that he had the will to live and how horrible would it be to the kid or kids to leave em behind taht young. u said u just want it to care for it...which is degrading a baby to a puppy status...a baby is much more than that...i know babies are awesome i want one too but im going to wait because i want to bring it into a world that is safe and secure financially and especially when im ready mentally and my partner is..i want the baby to have the bet life i can give it and i want all of that ot be ready before it arrives or before i get pregnant for that matter. its not that i want to care for something and make the personality how i would like it and that its somethign to live for, it has to be because ur ready to bring someone else into the world and ur ready to endure the many tests raising a child brings. and u have to be able to accept that u one day wont be there for them and u have to feel ok with that. u should already be good with just urself...otherwise imagine on how the child is going to end up?..questioning their self worth constantly...thinking that just being themselves isnt a good enough reason...and no u cant hide things from kids like that...they alwasy take on their parents traits because they mimic everything...do urself a favor...go to school, go to college, get a job, somewhere in there find mister right and not mister right now...i think ud need a bit of help with that maybe from a girlfriend/bestfriend or sister or brother ur close to seeing that u sound very blinded right now on the concept of baby and mother...i found my mister right, i would like a family...talk to mothers and u will see that ur motives are wrong and like i just said that ur really blinded to what Baby is....baby should never be about you.

Answer 12

You have more to live for than just a child.  You have yourself and your future.  Being psychologically dependent on another person to feel adequate is very unhealthy.  Please wait to have children until you can provide for them.

Answer 13

i know you might be frustrated with everyone saying to go get a job and live your life first but really thats the only way you will live a full life. you cannot afford a baby, but you can afford to have fun with your friends, to travel and to get a career doing something you love. at the end of the day, a baby right now will only take away your options to do all those things. you cannot have a baby AND go out whenever you want, having fun, going on wild or relaxing holidays.

But you can do all those things AND THEN have a baby. not only that but then you will be able to tell your baby your amazing stories of when you were a teenager and your first job, first holiday without the parents and first shopping spree you went on with the first paycheck you got.

Im sure any children you have would appreciate you more if they were brought into a financially stable, loving family, who has lived their wild days out and now the main priority is giving them what they need, instead of wishing they had more freedom.

i dont think the child would be very happy learning that he was made because you were lonely/depressed/unhappy.

babies can wait, time doesnt.

Answer 14

Can you wait? I'm 18 years old with a 6 month old daughter. I'm also a single mother. My ex boyfriend got me pregnant than ran off. My daughter was an unexpected, I'm happy that she's in my life but I wish I could give her a better life. I work 2 part time jobs with minimum wage. So before you just run off getting pregnant think about it. If you really wanted a baby you would wait until you have a steady man, and you have money to help this child.

Answer 15

You could want a baby. BUT you have to think, can you provide for it. As much as I hate to say it, you can't get by just on love. Maybe in a couple of years when you have a decent paying job and are able to take care of yourself then you can consider it. What's going to happen if you have a baby now. Mommy and Daddy will have to pay for the baby's needs well you sit around making everyone feel bad for you just because you can't wait a couple years because you wanted something to live for. If your boyfriend can't make you feel that way, then maybe you shouldn't be with him. You have no car no license no job. So basically you will have to get someone to take you EVERYWHERE you need to go. You will have to go shopping all the time, lots and lots of doctors appointments. And the price of having a baby these days are outrageous. If you wanted to bring your baby up in a decent world, you will wait a couple of years. Especially since your friend's throat was just slit. I'm not sure thats the kind of lifestyle you should be bringing a child up with. What happens if you have this baby, and this friend is over and whoever did this to him/her comes over. Would you really want to put your baby's life in jeopardy like that? I sure wouldn't. Sure everyone at one point in their young lives want a baby. I'm 19, and i've had that feeling plenty of times. But think about what I said. I don't think its the best time at all.

Answer 16

It's totally your choice. You should tak ti out with your parents first. See if they'll approve. Ask them for their decision. Because what if you have a baby, with out knowing thier opinion and they decide that you have to watch it on your own. Make sure that the baby's father will stay with you and is a faithfull person. Plus, you have more to live for then just a baby. But remember if you do decide to have that baby, it's going to grow. It's not going to stay four months forever. (:

Answer 17

why would you want to have a baby you are only 18 you have a lot to still do and having a baby is only going to hold you back not puting the other young girls down who have a baby but i know they would have wished they didn't how do you plan on rasing this child you need to ask yourself wat you hav to offer this child once its here because not only will it need love but food diapers doctors

Answer 18

You kind of answered your own question.

It's not wrong to want to have a baby, but if you act on that decision, it is wrong because you've stated that you can't provide for your child (no car, no job, no home of your own).

Also, it's sad that you're blaming your father for your miscarriage. Maybe God is trying to tell you that you're not ready and you're learning that the hard way.

Answer 19

So long as you don't act on that desire when you cannot afford to support yourself, wanting to have something is not necessarily wrong.

However, it seems you want to have a baby to make *you* feel better.

Let me tell you this: If you're not happy with yourself and by yourself, nothing else is going to give you true happiness.

It is not the job of a baby to give you something to live for, something to love, something to look forward to, etc.

You're 18. You say yourself that you have no job, live with your parents, and no means to transport yourself.

You might *want* a baby, but you are in no way ready to care for one.

Get some more education. College or trade school. Get some life experience -- you're young...travel, go out with friends, have some life experiences. Get a job. Learn how to support yourself and get along in this world.

Because, until you've done that I don't think you're in much of a position to have something that's going to be completely dependent on you for its life, health, and well-being.