I'm 19 years old, and my family can still make me cry...?

Question

I'm 19 years old, I'm in college, I'm studying what I want to study, working hard and getting excellent grades. But my family can still make me feel the stupidest person on the face of this earth! I don't come to dinner so that I can be made fun of for not knowing everything they do, or not remembering what I learned in Catholic school five years ago and never believed in anyway! I honestly ended up just sitting there barely being able to wait until I could leave and and just go off and cry!

I've just never been close to my family, and I don't know how to tell them how much being made fun of this much hurts me!

Answer 1

I know exactly what you mean & are going thru. I'm 42 & my family still puts me down & makes me cry at times. When I was your age my Grandpa died, & I wasn't told until 5 days after his death. I asked my Mom why I wasn't told & she said that at the time I wasn't considered a part of the Family (I was going to take my Dad to Court for beating the c**p out of me at the time).

I've tried everything to try to please them (Parents & siblings), but for some reason I've always been the one that is made fun of or not told important news. So to keep my own sanity, I just see them at Family functions & try not to see them anymore than I have to which is sad because we all live in the same Town, & my children who are 16 & 10 don't get to see or really know their cousins or Grandparents.

*To People that pick on Family Members unfairly:

   Try to realize that the relative that you're picking on doesn't think it's funny. In some cases you're not just affecting that one person, but you're affecting other members also. Not only is it hurtful, but it's cruel.

Answer 2

My family can do the same and I am 45.  My sis and brother dont work.  Brother has been in prison more than out.  Sis is a dope head.  I work, never been arrested.  I take care of my business but yet they can still hurt my feelings.  Not only that I am the only one that helps my parents out anytime they need one of us.  I am always the one doing it.  I dont cry in front of them but when I leave I let it out and then I pray for them.  They are the ones that need Gods guidance.  I receive it (Gods guidance) daily and try and do good.

Answer 3

I'm raelly sorry your feelings are hurt, and no one deserves to have hurt feelings from people that love them. My guess is they make fun of you in a ha-ha way, not a lets-put-her-down way. It's really too bad they take it too far, so next time just ask them to stop, or redirect the conversation into something positive. Ask them how their day is going. Also, if you feel it is playful behaviour (and its just too much for you), poke fun back.

If, however, this is some rare case where they ARE trying to hurt you, block them out of your life. You can have a talk with them if you want, but people who intentially hurt people don't change... and they need help.

Hope all goes well and feel free to email me any time if you want someone to talk to :)

Answer 4

I really feel for you.  My dad treated me like a kid until I was 32 years old and had a 2 year old daughter.  It wasn't an easy transition but I basically "blew up" at him and vented 32 years of anger.  It's probably better not to leave it that long .  Do you have a member of the family who is more sympathetic?  An aunt maybe? If someone else can "open the door" on the conversation it may give you the chance to get in on it.  Otherwise, consider confidence counseling to give you the strength to tackle it yourself.  Good luck, and I mean that.

Answer 5

dont tell them you shouldnt care about what other people think just tell yourself your doing your best and go on with your life

Answer 6

Bingo, when you said "Catholic" I knew you were being tormented for some reason.

You are much too smart to be told that someone else has to pray for you to enter heaven.

Start this thinking mentality when you are around them from now on.  Imagine them on a comedy sit com...and they are really ridiculous characters there to think they know everything and really know little.  Imagine the canned laughter after each one of them speaks their little weird lines of "put downs"

What a bunch of morons.

Answer 7

unfortunately it wont do any good.. didnt with me.. my family can still make me feel small and insignificant and make me cry. You have to learn to TRY to not let it get to you. I feel for you... very sorry that your family does not see how special and smart you are.  

Answer 8

Get rid of these nutcases as fast as you can and don't look back.  Cry?  Is you crazy?  They should be the ones crying for being such ridiculous individuals.