I'm 19 years old and my twins (boy & girl) are due in 1 week. I want to give them up for adoption....?

Question

I found a nice couple and my sister is good friends with this family so I trust them. They really want to adopt the twins since they can't have kids of their own. I want to give them up because I'm only 19 and I want to start my modeling career first. I can't even think about kids now and I really don't even like babies. How do I start off the adoption?

Answer 1

Get a lawyer versed in adoption in your state/your future adoptive parents state. Lawyer will know the official "wait time" (the new parents can take the child at birth but in some states have to wait 6 months for a so called readopt..basically it's a way of getting through the court system). Good luck and thanks for making a great decision to adopt out your babies!

btw my son is adopted from russia so I had to go through russian courts and us courts..much easier to get a lawyer..let the new parents pay for it.  Also, they should be making some monetary "gift" to you to help you on your way in life. The average cost of a us adoption starts at about $15,000 and rapidly increases.

Answer 2

What a bunch of judgmental people.

If you're really pregnant and want to provide your twins with a happy home and you don't feel ready to take on motherhood, good for you ! You are  very selfless. Go through an adoption agency, make sure your children are adopted to the best family they can have. The families will be extensively screened to make sure they are suitable.

I do find it hard to believe that this late in your pregnancy you're just now wondering about the adoption process. It makes me think that you may be one of those women who pull adoption scams. How wonderful does twin boy and girl babies sound ! Especially having a biological mother with 'model looks' .  You would be a dream come true to prospective adoptive parents who desperately want to have a baby to love. I hope that is not the case here.

If these babies exist, I hope they have the opportunity to grow up together in a happy home with parents who love and want them. good luck.

Answer 3

Seems to me you are on the right track.  Have the adoptive parents contact an attorney and as has been suggested have them pay all the expenses.  As long as you trust the adoptive parents and have a connection to them, I do not see why you would need to involve an agency.

Please be more careful when having s*x.  Pregnant models aren't too popular.

Answer 4

I wish i know you so i could adoption them from you you are lucky to have twins

Answer 5

this is going to be very rude and blunt and well you kinda deserve it. ..... thing is if you didnt want KIDS- you shouldnt have had s*x!! you are being so selfish!! how dare you give your kids up! i cant believe people even stoop this low!! imagine how those children will think! you need to stop thinking about your d**n self, and take care of a WONDERFUL responsibility that has been placed on you! it should NOT be a burden! who cares about your modeling career!!! your  a mother now! worry about that later!! no child is a mistake! EVER! God gives you a child FOR A REASON and you should FEEL blessed!! i just cant believe you are going to carry two kids for 9 months and then just hand them away the day they are born!.... you must have NO feelings whatsoever! and you will REGRFET this forever, and it will haunt you every day you live! AS WELL AS IT SHOULD!!!

Answer 6

Good for you and please dont let any rude comments make you feel bad.

I was adopted (and so was my sister and one of my brothers) and from the time I was little and throughout my whole life I would only be able to say "Thank you" to my birth mom.  What she gave up so that I could have a better life was tremendous.  It is the entire reason that now that I'm "old enough" and want kids, I am adopting.  I adopted my daughter a few years ago(she is 14 years old) and now we are trying to find more sisters and brother to add to our family.

You can email me privately ([e-mail]) or im me if you want to talk or get more answers to direct questions.  Being on the adopting side, maybe I can help you with questions you dont realize you should have.

There definitely needs to be a lawyer involved to protect both yourself, child and adopting family.  More paperwork is involved with out of state adoptions.  You can determine how open you want this adoption to be.  Meaning if you are supposed to receive photos, information on how child is doing, letters and even visits if you choose to.  You can always set it up for more than you think you want and if it makes you feel uncomfortable talk about it later.  It's harder to do a more closed adoption then want to make visits etc later on.

This is all something you can talk about with the family before any concrete decisions are made.  What will your relationship be like after the children are born-is one question to ask.  How do you want them to be raised?  Will college be provided?  Some are silly sounding questions but all within the realm.

Remember you can not take any money for this!  Regardless of how its worded, it looks like baby selling-so just be careful.  The adopting family will take care of lawyer fees so you shouldnt be out any money for that.

I can totally relate to how  you are feeling!  I never wanted kids, and really never gave a though about a baby until a few years ago.  I just looked at my life-it's good, and looked at everything around me-we breed horses, and all my family and friends and realized that I wanted to (finally) share it with someone.  It is definitely hard at times and I am so glad I did not choose this when I was younger!  But the time is right now, so it just clicks in place.

I also did some modelling, but preferred the horses-so ended up on that path.  Best of luck to you and feel free to email me privately and I'll give you my telephone number if you want to talk.  Once again a big hug for your unselfishness-or maybe two as you are having twins!  Sheri

Answer 7

Have the couple start it off, not you. They should get an attorney that specializes in this stuff. Have them cover all of the expenses too.

Answer 8

Well if your going to be so busy with modeling i think you should have them in a better home. But i also think you should keep them at the same time because TWINS!!! that is adorable they could be so cute. But... ya go through somethin online or call an atorney!

Answer 9

How about give them to a family member to take care of them for you for now so you don't regret it later that you gave away your own kids. Who knows. What if you wouldn't be able to have kids anymore? Never give away what is precious like that.

Answer 10

google Adoption Agencies, and make sure you do your research.......tell the adoption agency that you know a suited couple that wants the babies.  And make sure you make the couple pay for all of the paperwork and procedures.

Answer 11

First reconsider your decisions to make sure you are doing the right thing and this is what you really want. Consider all the pros and cons of this decision because once you have given away your rights as the legal parents/guardians of your kids, and you change your mind, it will be tough for you legally.

Oh and next time you decide to have s*x, I'd go with what Marla said. Use abstinence or a condom please. Thanks! If you don't want kids, maybe you're right in giving them away. Just like s*x and pregnancy, you can't undue the decision, so make this a wise one. Maybey you'll change your mind when you get used to being a mother.

Answer 12

You do not have to go through an agency. The couple will need to hire a family law attorney that specializes in adoption. It is customary for them to pay for your medical and pregnancy related expenses- but they can not pay you to "buy" the baby- it has to be for pregnancy related things only..(otherwise it is considered illegal/bribery).They will pay the attorney. You can have an open adoption where the contract says you are allowed to visit, etc. You should know your rights- even if you decide to give your twins up- before you do.

Answer 13

if u wanted to start a job then ?WHY DID YOU GET PREGNENT??!!! if you didnt wont kids then take birth control pills or stop messing around with guys.your the kind of people i hate the most.

Answer 14

So have you found your wedding photographer? Any problems with your belly piercing showing through your dress? You might have to remove it, or take it out for the ceremony for the best look.  At least during the ceremony and pictures.  Then again, I can't imagine being pregnant with twins and having a belly button ring in. At a week until delivery that must look wild!!  I'm really surprised your Doctor hasn't had you remove it.  So like, the doc totally told you about drinking and partying while you were pregnant right?

Sorry, but I'm a little angry, and hurt right now, and I'm feeling very protective of all the women in this category that have answered your question.  

Shame on you. The thing is, karma is a *****. It will always come back to you. When you think it's done with you for this one, it won't be. This was low sweetie. I hope it serves you up a mighty good lesson.  

I hope you never need anything in your life. I hope you never look to others for human kindness, or understanding. I'm sorry, but if this is the ruse that I believe it is then I have no understanding for people like you that would come to a public place and claim such a thing. Even though you don't know them. May you never know the pain and heartache these women know. The open arm of understanding, friendship, and love that they are so needing and willing to give freely of is apparent as everyone asks and answers such personal questions about an issue that is at the core of such pain.

I hope I'm wrong. I do. Forgive me if I am. You opened an account yesterday answering four questions. One of which you say your life is wonderful as you are engaged to get married to a wonderful man and expecting twins next week and how excited you are. In your profile, you talk about your boyfriend, how you love to party, like to drink, but you don't smoke.  So which is it?

Again, my apologies if I'm incorrect about you and you are doing what you say you are here in this question.  However, if this is c**p, may your higher power take mercy on you and you fully understand one day what your actions are capable of. May you then take responsibility and find a way to make it up to others.

Answer 15

Sorry but I think if you dont want the kids dont do the deed.  Sounds like you can afford to keep your family together!

Answer 16

THINK REALLY HARD WHAT YOU'RE PLANNING ON DOING.  THINK AND WRITE DOWN THE PROS AND THE CONS ON A PIECE OF PAPER.  ALSO, TALK TO YOUR FAMILY, ASK THEM FOR ADVICE.  I TRULY HOPE THAT WHATEVER DECISION YOU MAKE IS REALLY THE ONE THAT WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

Answer 17

19 years? modeling career? don't like children but pregnant? seems to me that you are confuse and don't really know what you really want, if your modeling career was so important to you, why did you get pregnant at the first place then? take your time and think first don't rush into your decision or you might end up regretting it. Just because your sister know someone who is nice and is interrested in adopting doesn't mean that you are doing the right thing. GO to an adoption agency and start from there, have them read you all your rights so you know there is no coming back and no regrets. Good luck

Answer 18

I'm glad you find a modeling career more important than taking care of children that you bringing into the world.  

The first person was right.  If you don't want that responsibility, than keep your legs closed.  

I think to choose a modeling career over your children is selfish.  You should put them up for adoption.  They don't deserve you.  And one day when they find out that a modeling career was more important to you than they were I hope you feel the pain of what you did.

Answer 19

I just want to say that I think you should consider adoption for your child because you would be giving couples like me and my husband that can't have children the chance of being parents and getting the chance to know what it would be like to be able to have a child that they could never have you would bring them hope that they never thought was possible. If you would like to talk to someone you can e-mail me at [e-mail] and you can also Instant Message me on yahoo messenger my screen name is kitten16_18. You can talk to me about anything I will always be there if you need someone to talk to I will always be there to listen I will be there day or night I will be there.

Answer 20

let them hire a lawyer. wow you're seem young and immature. you prefer modeling to your blood? wow sweet heart. you need to keep your legs closed because its not doing you much good to your precious career. anyway. they don't accept many models who already had children. doesn't leave you with a good figure and even if you get it back. many won't get you.

Answer 21

you will regret later on those precious babies are a part of you

Answer 22

First of all congrats on thinking of the children first and considering adoption.  I am sure it is a really difficult decision, but I know there are lots of us out there who would love to add to their family with adoption!

It is nice you know/trust the parents, but I am suprised however that your twins are due in a week and the family that wants to adopt your children haven't already started it off/gotten an attorney yet to help with this (I know my husband and I would be on the phone to an attorney that same day if we ever had the chance).  I would give the prospective adoptive parents a call and let them know they need to get to hire an attorney who specializes in adoption quickly so that you can proceed/dicuss things before the twins are born.  You, the father, the attorney, and the prospective parents have a lot to talk about.  For example: do the prospective parents have a room set up, do they have the car seats, do they plan on taking the children home from the hospital, are you going to name them or will they, do you want an open or closed adoption (make sure to get it in writing), do they want to be there when you give birth (all of these and many more questions/answers are usually thought about ahead of time). In addition, you might want to ask for them to pay the medical expenses for the birth (all done through the attorney) unless you are on Medicaid or your parents health insurance already covers the birth.  

If those parents don't get going on getting an attorney, I would question if they were really willing to take the steps to proceed other than saying they wanted the twins. If it doesn't work out with the prospective adoptive parents or they don't step up, there are tons of agencies that you can call who could find a family that would jump on the chance for those babies.

Congrats again, I hope all goes well for all of you!

Answer 23

You sound like you want to do what is best for your babies and yourself. You need to seek counseling to make sure you are comfortable with your decision. Is the daddy OK with you giving the babies up for adoption? Will he sign away his rights? On your profile you suggest you like to drink...have you drank while pregnant? Do potential adoptive parents know of this? Are they ok taking kids with alcohol exposure? All of this will be handled for you, babies and potential adoptive parents if you go through an agency. Contact a birth counselor at an agency www.bethany.org has one on line that you can chat with. they will help you sort through all of this. I am in the process of trying to adopt and know at Bethany they offer a lot of support and conseling to the birth parents.

best wishes

Answer 24

I AM ADOPTED....so I know that what you are doing is the RIGHT thing to do!  Do not listen to people who tell you that you are selfish.  Giving a child up for adoption when you are not ready to raise a child is the most UNSELFISH thing a human could do.  I have always respected my birth mother for giving me a better life than she could provide herself.  It was the reason I chose to meet her when I turned 18.....because I wanted to thank her for not ending her pregnancy with me and for giving me a better life.

You don't need to go through an agency.  The only benefit of doing that is if you were only part way through your pregnancy.  I think having the couple contact an adoption attorney is sufficient.

ONE THING that I would advise is to have the attorney bill the couple for some individual counseling for you once the baby is born.  It's not that I think there is something wrong with you, but you need to take care of yourself.  Giving a baby up is hard to do, and you need to have a healthy view of what you have done for yourself and that child.  You should not live your life feeling guilt over something that was a GOOD thing to do.

Best of luck!  You can e-mail me if you have any other questions that I could help you with!

:)

Answer 25

Sounds like you are doing the right thing. Since your modeling career is much more important than you children. You need to have the adopted parents hire a lawyer.

Since you dont like kids then maybe you need to keep your legs closed!

Answer 26

Get an attorney involved and he/she will make sure that everything is done totally legally so that no one gets bit in the bum by a detail later in life.  It shouldn't cost much & the adoptive family will likely pay the bill for it.

You're very wise and loving for looking into making an adoption plan for your children.  You're blessing the children and the adoptive parents. Good for you!

Answer 27

You need to go through an adoption agency. http://www.birthmother.com/ This site may help. You do not want to do a private adoption. Legally it is better to go through an agency. They will guide you through the process and let you know of your rights.

Answer 28

maybe u shoulda got an abortion or hmm i donno maybe keep ur legs closed if u dont like kids i know a really good birth control take a penny n put it between ur knees n hold it there.......selfish

Answer 29

if u really think its what u want to do than do it but i did and i regret it every single day,but u need to talk to a lawyer thay can do the adoption process for u

Answer 30

Well you sound like a very unselfish person....good luck to you as I know this has to be sooo hard.  Well to start an adoption is usually done by the adoptive family getting an attorney for themselves and YOU TOO!  You can find your own or go with the one they use, whatever makes you comfortable.  They should be the one to pay the legal fees for you too.  If you need help now, or after (some states it is up to 90 days post birthday)  they are also obligated to pay....they are also obligated to pay for all medical fees as well.  You really need an attorney to help you all explaining th laws in your state and how they apply to you.  Good luck and god bless.

Answer 31

let the adoptive parents do all of the papers for you.....only thing you need to do is sign the adoption papers...which makes sure you really wanna give them up....but i hope you make /made the right choice...giving up both children??