I'm 22 and still get smacked in the face by my dad...?

Question

He just started yelling at me right now because there are 3 heads of lettuce in the refrigerator and one of them fell on the floor and he started yelling at me for that.

Then I tell him that "I didn't even buy it, and to get out of my face" and he walks up to me threatens to smack me in the face.

Then I say "do it" (thinking he wont because what grown man would hit a 22 year old women in the face)

and he does..

Then i say "i hate you" and he smacks me again and pulls my hair.

then i say something like "no wonder I hate you, this makes me hate you even more"

you know he's always hitting me and yelling and never once does he appologize. he just goes on like nothing has happened and everything should be normal again and it's really made me not want anything to do w/ him!

Hmm... no wonder I have low self esteem/depression and am not interested in dating anyone or ever having kids....

Maybe because my dad treats me like **** and talks to me like i'm worthless...

I wish I could move out but i don't graduate college for 8 more months!

Am I crazy or is my dad right for still hitting me?

*IF I EVER have kids.....

I will never hit them in the face/pull their hair.....It does way more damage then good...

Answer 1

LEAVE!!!

I know it will be tough but it is the best thing to do in this situation!!

                

                           Best of Luck!!

Answer 2

I have to say that I'd hit you too...You told him to do it and you were acting like a little child.

No matter how crappy your parents are, when you get into your twenties you should give them some respect already. If my child talked to me like that at 22, I'd say she had a lesson to learn and that she could handle a little smack in the face. It doesn't sound like he hit you so hard you bled or got a fat lip or you would have said so. From what you describe, you were being a brat and it was not abuse.

Answer 3

Move out and get your own place then, your 22 your a big girl see if you can stay with a friend until you can find an apartment or something.

Answer 4

I am sorry this is happening to you. You are doing the smart thing - finish that education. That is your ticket out of there! Get a good job, with good health insurance and then see a counsellor. Use this lesson as a reminder to be good to your children - that hurting them physically hurts them emotionally for life. Stay strong, keep your nose to the grindstone and just know that soon you'll be history!

Edit: Does hit your mom too? Are you worried about leaving her alone? I think that these people don't have any idea what the dynamic is in a home with abuse. Stay strong - we are never given more than we can handle!

Answer 5

911 thats what you need to do !

Answer 6

I would just tell you dad that you are a grown woman, and he cant push you around anymore! Its time for him to realize that he is in the wrong! He shouldnt be hitting you anyway, and certianly not over food! thats stupid! I would just tell him that you have had enough and its time for a change!  

Answer 7

You could report him, or something because that is wrong, as you obviously know. Your right, I have no experience with child abuse, but does he do any form of drugs or alcohol? What triggers it? Find some way to help him or something. I hope that you do something so that he doesn't do it again, and next time, worse.

Answer 8

Why are you posting this in the Adolescent section if you're 22.  You sound like you act like an adolescent, so maybe that's why?  An adolescent that needs a smack in the face.

Answer 9

call the cops on him..?

Answer 10

I live by the rule that people shouldn't hit other people, whether they are children or adults.

Having said that, when someone says "I didn't even buy it, and to get out of my face" - that isn't polite and you need to remember that you are an adult living in your parent's home - I'm not saying that he was right to hit you, he wasn't, but that is not the way to speak to anyone.

You have two choices, move out and live elsewhere, which might not be easy as you have college for 8 more months.

or

Try to be as cooperative, polite and considerate as you can for the next 8 months - I know he isn't polite to you, but try not to say anything that will trigger an outburst of violence.

I can tell you that I would never have dared to have spoken to my parents that way, I would have been slapped too I dare say!  

Answer 11

Sounds like he was a jerk for getting mad about a head of lettuce, but if you didn't mention your age I would have thought you were 15.

Real adults don't pull that "get outta my face" with other adults... It's just rude. He shouldn't have hit you, but if my daughter acted like an a-ss to me I'd smack her too... 20, 30 or 50. The "I hate you I hate you more!" part is just gas on the fire. You dared him and he called your bluff.

It sounds to me like you are just angry right now and your feelings are a bit hurt. The low self esteem/depression thing is BS so save it. Next time, let ash holes be ash holes and move along your merry way.  

Answer 12

your dads an a*****e save you $$ and move out asap.

Answer 13

hes wrong. he shouldnt be doing that, whether you are a grown woman or a kid.

move out of there NOW. see if there is a friend you can stay with for that 8mo. or maybe another relative that is close by.

Answer 14

Move out right now. You are an adult, not a child (why is this question in adolescent?). Even if you are in College, you are an adult, and have been since you were 18. Get a dorm room, move in with a friend, talk to your school about your situation and there are lots of people who will help you get out now.

Call the Police and report your dad for domestic violence and stay away from him. Get a restraining order if you need to.

Answer 15

If your a woman leave. Telling your dad to get out of your face is disrespectful. Maybe your the one who needs to learn to have respect for your father. Your in his house and telling him to get out. I'd kick you out so I wouldn't be in your face. Change your attitude and maybe he'll change his. A slap is not abuse but I think you are too old to be slapped yet you seem to act like a kid.

Answer 16

Next time your dad does this, pal, call the police and have him charged with assault for hitting you. What he's doing is against the law, and you DON'T have to put up with it- you are a legal adult, and can live anywhere you want to, and with whomever you choose to. I am surprised you haven't moved out a long time ago, in fact- you need to, and not just a little. At your age, you should have a job and your own place, as well as be attending college- you aren't a little kid any more, and he has no right to hit you, especially not over something as stupid as this was.

Your dad has obvious anger issues, and he sounds like he's got some other mental problems as well- it's the person who calls someone else names that has a lot of problems himself, at least in my experience. He's also physically and emotionally abusive to you, and the longer you stay around, the worse his behavior will get. Do you want to end up in the hospital, or even DEAD, because of him?? If you answered no, then take a hint and get the h**l OUT OF THERE before he does even more damage to you.

No, I'd call the cops the next time your dad threatens you or tries to harm you, and have him arrested. You can get a student loan to pay your college fees, and you can also move into the dorm on campus or take an apartment there where you will be safe. At the very least, you can go to a shelter for battered women, and the staff there will give you some counseling and help, and help you figure why it was so necessary that you stay with such an abusive parent. They can also help you work on skill you need to find a job and pay your own bills, such as interviewing skills, for example, or on how to write a resume and a cover letter for employers. You are a college senior- not a child, and you need to get over your fears and start acting like one. The world doesn't owe you a living- and it's way past time for you to cut the apron strings and move out on your own, away from DADDY and his abuse.

Lastly, you need to change your attitude about your dad's abuse of you- and realize that what he's doing is NOT YOUR FAULT. Your dad is a sick man, and sick people behave in ways which are often very inappropriate and wrong. His abuse of you should have been brought to the attention of the authorities years ago- and I have to wonder why no one else has noticed what you have been forced to deal with all your life. There is more to life than abuse, pal- and you deserve a better life than what you've known. Speak up, and tell someone what's going on- or call the local crisis center and ask for a referral to a shelter.

Good luck, and I hope you get some help. You need and deserve it.  

Answer 17

no matter what age you are your parents should never hit you in the face or pull your hair. theres a difference between spanking and abuse. a little pop on the mouth when a CHILD is sassing or cusses is one thing, but slapping is another. you were ABUSED.

EDIT: dont let these people tell you that you deserved this. you didnt.