I'm 34 and single. I'm thinking on having my first child at age 40. What's your opinion?

Question

The way I'm seeing things; I have 3 more years to fall in love, with somebody I still haven't meet, and be married by age 37. Then I would like to enjoy 2 or 3 years just with my wife and no kids. That's 5 or 6 years from now, and since I'm 34 today, my first child could be born when I'm 40 years old.

I'm somewhat worried about the facts that, when I reach 50 years of age, my first child will be 10, and when I reach 60, my kid or kids will be 20 years of age.

Will it be too difficult to deal with there youth, while I'm in those age stages of my life?

One other thing that has gotten me thinking, is if they get married at ages 30 or 40; I would be in my 70's or 80's...How many grand-child's would I actually meet??

Answer 1

Good plan, stay in shape & all will be well in the universe.

Answer 2

I honestly don't think it's to old. My husbands father is 60 and just barely had a baby! (I think THAT is to old though! haha. ) My parents were (dad) 36 and (mom) 42 when they had their youngest together (he's 17 now) and they do just fine with him. My dad just had a baby a year ago and he just turned 48 and he's doing great. I think the main thing is your personality! Will you act like an old man or be young in spirit and be able to play and interact with your kids? That to me is more important than age really.

Answer 3

No my daddy pretty much did that with me

it's not like mama won't be there

you got family and relatives (and friends) by your side?

By 16 your kid will pretty much be independent from you anyways

Anything could happen even while young

Don't plan everything to the "T"

Be a bit flexible for who knows what...

Answer 4

Well I often wish I could have a child or adopt. I sometimes get discouraged b/c i was raised by a single mother and sometimes i don't want to put my child through the pain i endured. Good luck at your endeavor and ask around in ur community. I.E., church, synagogue, club you belong to alumni...

Answer 5

Well its a personal choice you have to make. I am planning on having all of my kids before 30. Hopefully; we want to have 3, 2 years apart but if we dont make the age limit, Not a big deal. Just for me persaonally, having children has always been very important to me. I want to be able to keep with them when they are young. Not having a huge generation gap so i can keep up with thier society. Having the engery to at least try to keep up with my grandchildren.

Some people wait until thier late 30s and 40s to have kids! Its just more important to have a business life or a life full of travel. Theres nothing wrog with that either. You justt need to decide it for yourself!

Answer 6

dude just think when your 60 your kid will be 20. Age does catch up to you, so when your kid asks you to play ball at age 10 you'll be 50. Think about it. Just be sure you keep in shape. All in all you'll be ok... I think.

Answer 7

This is assuming it all works. My concern is, it hasn't happened so far (you are 34) , so why do you think it will happen now? I want to know the action steps you are committing to take to have this for yourself  irrelevant of the numbers.

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Answer 8

Its too old i am sorry but by the time ur kids will need u so much you will not have energy so why dont u start getting kds sooon its too old at 40

Answer 9

That's to freakin old!

Answer 10

You'll be fine. 40 is still young...just take care of yourself. Age shouldn't be your determining factor on having kids - you should do it when all facets of your life are in place and you are emotionally and financially prepared and have a great partner to do it with.

Answer 11

Eh, stay a bachelor, forget about kids.  Use the women you meet, have fun, lots of s*x and for gods sake forget about kids, why would you want to bring kids into this messed up world?

Answer 12

As you are mature enough to take the decision of your life, i am agree with your decision but try to maintain it throughout your future and start searching for the best partner who help you in making your decision successful..

Good Luck

Answer 13

You're still young and I think it's great that you're living your life to the fullest. Sounds like you know what you want and very organized...where were you ten years ago....j/k.

If you lived to be 70 or 80 then you may meet a few of your grandkids but I think that's over-kill. Live for the moment and enjoy what you have now.

Answer 14

My parents were 40 when i was born, i was a mistake, but it didnt change how i was brought up, or maybe it did, they were just too old to do anything with me, when i was 10 they were 50 and pretty much past any kind of fun, i kow we live in a different time, (im 49 now) and people are fitter and live differently, but i had a heart attack at 44 and i am fit and active run marathons when i was younger etc, you just dont have the energy as you do when you are younger, i had 3 kids at 25, 26, 28 and i had a great time with them and im close to them, but that isnt to say you wont be close to yours, but believe me your energy levels just arent the same. My parents never got to see my kids grow up, and now my son has given me a grandson and im enjoing him very muc, but it is great to be able to hand him back.....

Answer 15

In my opinion, you shouldn't wait that long. having kids at a later age, can actually raise the chances of your child being born a with a mental disease.

Also, its difficult for your child to go threw school with such an older parent. When all there friends ask how old is your daddy and mommy he/she may feel embarrassed to tell the real age.

Also, you want to see your grandchildren right? It would be a shame, if you could only meet one or two.

At the age of 60, you probably wouldn't have the strength to handle all the difficult situations a young adult could be put into.

Rather than waiting until your 40, i would consider within the next two years. But Don't rush it.

Good luck.

Answer 16

Well, I can tell you from experience what it's like to be a child of older parents.  When my father was 61, I was fourteen, which caused me to worry constantly about his health and how many years I'd have with him.  Would he see me graduate from college?  Get married?  Have kids of my own?

However, I have to admit that he and my mother attempted to have a child ten years before I was actually born (due to problems unique to them both, they were unable to for some time).

Also, my father is very overweight, an added concern to my stress, which might not necessarily apply to you.

I think that forty is still fine to have children, provided that you take great care of your health!

Nonetheless, don't set yourself a certain amount of time to find your right match and get settled.  It doesn't seem like something that you should put time restraints on.

Don't worry about it, and staying healthy would be my best advice!

Answer 17

Well,you have to compromise a little bit here.If you still want to enjoy life with out kids,then at 40 you shouldn't have more than 1 child.You won't feel the same at 40.My husband is 44.our children are 6 and 4 years old.He can only play with them maybe for 1/2 hour.He is not what he used to be when he was 38.I notice the difference.So don't wait too long if you want to see your grandchildren get marriead.Just remember at the age of 50,you have to deal with a 10 year old.That's not easy.

Answer 18

then i would not wait get married now and start having kids and don't worry about spending time with ur wife alone think about how much fun kids will be now....

Answer 19

Depends on how well you take care of yourself...some people live to 90 some only 56....so at the age you have them, you might not meet your grandchildren.  Now as far as this planning is concerned, you shouldn't do it....you can plan all you want on how your lovelife is gonna work time wise...those plans NEVER work....cause what if you try marrying at 37?  What are the odds you find no one worthy of the longterm relationship?  THen what?

Your best bet is to just let it happen...you can't chase after love, it comes on its own pretty much....i planned ahead like that too and EVERYTHING did NOT go as planned, i was supposed to be married at 28 once i had my career, then hve kids at 30 and live happy....

Well i'm 26 and i'm already married, still working on my career, and by the way things are going, i'll be having kids by next year.  This all happened when i STOPPED caring about looking for love and the whole romance, and just wanted to worry about my life....

So having a kid at 40 is fine, you just might not be able to see your grandkids depending on your health....but just be wary that you really can't plan your lovelife...it plans on its own.

Answer 20

The way I see it, things are tough in this world now, they are only going to get worse.Why in this day and age would we want to bring children into the world.  

Answer 21

yikes!

Tomorrow is not promised. Do you know something I don't know. Why did you wait so long. You were a player. Or did you let her get away?

Answer 22

well YOU won't be having the kid, she will. not sure how much younger your imaginary wife is but birth defects and fertility problems rise starting at age 35...for women. you can plan all you want but life changes and we can't control everything...take if from someone who is 30, never married, no kids. When I was 22 I had my whole life planned out and that involved kids before 30 that's for sure, now I'll be lucky to squeak some in before 35 :)

Answer 23

I am 34 and single w/ no children ~ I just keep youthful looking no one even thinks I am that old anyway

Personally I think it is a perfect plan

The answer to your last question is ~ it depends on your children if they are like you and don't have children until late you may not meet any but if they have them young then you may get to see a bundle  

Answer 24

ummm... I think you need to find a partner first and let things happen naturaly, you cant just make plans on your own when there needs to be someone else involved.

Answer 25

I think 40 is fine, but I think you are planning too much.  I did the same thing, like in my 20's...and here I sit at 40 with no husband and no babies.  Life doesn't always happen as planned.  All I am saying is this...don't get so caught up in your goals you are blinded by everything else.  You can't control life like that.  Unfortunately.  If you could, I'd be a soccer mom by now, married to an architect, living in a comfortable home in the suburbs.

Get my meaning??

Answer 26

That's fine, there's no going back in time, you should have done this earlier..But, just make sure the girl you fall for isn't your age, (40) cause if she did have kids the chances of it being DS (down syndrome) is like 7 out of 10, so I wouldn't chance it.

But good luck!

Answer 27

Well, since men can technically have children up into their 80's....go for it. Your sperm isnt going anywhere. :p

But try to maintain a healthy lifestyle so your poor kid wont have a really old dad who is falling apart.  

Answer 28

i think u should do itt   ur not getting any younger