I'm 57 years old; I have had AIDS for more than 25 years

Question

$3,000.00 a month for just the three different daily pills I must take.

I lost everything. I have PTSD from childhood, again from VietNam,

again, gang-raped by 4 thugs @knife point and sole eye-witness to the double-stabbing death of two men by a gang high on PCP.

There's much more but the above shows my mind-set. I am in recovery as an alcoholic for more than 25 years and am now trying to correct wrong view of myself.

Question w/preface: I'm very tired of illness and the drugs, but more importantly, I am dispirited, and lean towards letting go of this mortal coil.

I know the answers are either, "do this," or "don't do this."

What I want is some spiritual insight that rises above any specific demonination

Answer 1

Write it all down in book. This YA is not a nice place to tell you story. Many bad people here I see.

Answer 2

Wow. This is an amazing story, and the fact that you have had 25 years of life with all of this is just as amazing.  There is no way that I could ever see, or feel, or understand your pain and struggles.  I am more than sure you've heard your share of spiritual insight and suggestions.  It seems though that your journey through life is no where at an end.  Apparently you have one heck of a inner strength that you have yet to tap into.  The depression has to be insane, but yet you still keep going.  I'm sure you have had some very weak moments very angry moments, but you still keep going, that is very powerful Spirituality goes way beyond any denomination.  So many of us don't realize it because its too simple to grasp.  I don't understand it but I do know its there. I don't have any spiritual insight to give to you, but I can say that you are no where near alone in this world, and your suffering is heard.  This may not be the right thing but I just wanted to at least make a comment.

Answer 3

fakiu to moder shek