I'm 7wks pregnant and we've only been dating 6mths.?

Question

I recently found out I am pregnant. Not planned. My boyfriend lives 150mi away and is a farmer. I'm a nurse. We have been dating for 6mths. He's not sure what to think of the whole situation. I would like to have the baby but don't want to have it on my own. I honestly don't see him as the type of guy to walk away from his responsibility and believe that he would make a great dad. I've given him some space to think about things. We've talked a few time by phone but thats been it. I haven't seen him in about 3weeks. I'm going out there next week to talk to him. I emailed him last week and told him that "I have faith that you will make the right decision when it comes to this baby and us." and that "I know your not the type of guy to walk away from your responsibilities and I think you would make a great dad". Was I out of line to write this. I was maybe hoping by saying this that it would show that I would have faith that he would do the right thing and would follow through with it. Help! I go out there next week do I just let him start all the talking since in the past I've been the talker?

Answer 1

You didn't do anything wrong...3 weeks is plenty of time to figure out what he wants..wait and see if he starts talking next week if he seem to avoid the topic then you have to bring it up..stay strong things will work out!! Good luck and congtrats!

Answer 2

I don't think you said anything wrong, but I wouldn't get my heart set on it making a difference.

Honestly, I believe if he wanted to step up to the plate and agree to be a "Dad", he would have done so.

My other concern is that you have known him only six months.  I doubt that is enough time for you to really know if he would be a good Dad.  And what sort of Dad do you have in mind - one who pays child support and visits or one who marries you?

In your position, I think I would wait for him to make the next move.

If he doesn't, go home and decide if you can do the best for the child on your own or if you should place him/her for adoption.

Answer 3

You have to let him know how you feel (which you did) and now it's his turn to let you know how he feels.  Sometimes things work out in these situations and other times they don't.  It is all about how you act.  I have a 6 year old and I got pregnant with him after knowing his dad for about 3 months.  His dad was in the Marines at the time and we lived 16 hours apart and then we lived 8 hours apart for 2 years.  He came up to visit me about once a month when I was pregnant and then about twice a month after our son was born.  He was very supportive emotionally and financially.  As soon as he was discharged from the military he moved to where we were and we dated another 2 years before I finally had to break it off because he wasn't willing to commit to marriage.  He is still one of my best friends and we co parent really well together.  Good luck to you and just try to remember it's not always about what you or he wants but it's really about the child now and what is best for the child.

Answer 4

I don't think you did anything wrong. Good luck x

Answer 5

Honestly, by writing that email, it might have sounded to him thats what you EXPECT that you aren't giving him any other option... But who knows. Just talk it out when you are there. Good luck

Answer 6

I don't think you've done anything wrong at all. It took both of you to make this baby and he needs to be there to help raise the baby.

Answer 7

Ok , Ok  let me tell you my story... i met my boyfriend on St. Patrick's day apr 17 2008 in a bar, so he convinced me  to go on a date with him, (my last period was on apr 13 2008, so by the time i  met him i still have my period) . Well on april 22 we went on our first date and guess what?,someone couldn't stand the urges (guilty). We ended up having s*x and i got preggi on our first date (guilty). I was really scared when i call him to tell him, but  my intuition told me , for some reason that everything was going to be okey. We went to the park and we talk about it. It turn out  that he didn't even mention the word abortion he just said " Let's do this. I want to do it if you want to do it, but let's do it as a family, you me and the baby". And  he turn put to be the BEST Boyfriend, father,Friend and everything you can ever imagine. Not only  left his apartment to move in with me, but he is very helpful , doesn't let me do anything, is a great dad( he reads to the baby and kiss my belly a lot) also everything it's going GREAT!!. Well despite i have to meet the whole family in a rush(lol). I think you have more probabilities of him taking care of you and that baby.  Let him talk first , let him know how does he feels about the situation and then you tell him how you feel. I'm pretty sure you guys are going to make the right decision for you and your "little meatball" (that's how me and my bf call all the babies)            =). But always remember that its you body and he can't make you do things you dont want hun. I wish you the  best luck in the world. Actually i send you some of mine ; ). Hope everything works out fine and congratulations!!

Answer 8

two of my friends where in this same situation.. i just hope it works out a lot better for you then it did for them.. I wish you all the luck that i can. btw you didn't do any thing wrong