I'm 8 months pregnant & boyfriend of 4 yrs now doesn't want to be with me. I don't know what to do!!!

Question

I'm 8 months pregnant and now my boyfriend doesn't want to be with me. We've been together for 4 years and we always had a wonderful relationship. Everyone was jealous of us because we got along so well for so many years. We've been living together for 3 years and it was still good but....

The problems started when he lost so much weight. He started to get attention from more girls and it got to his head. Then this girl started pursuing him and she knew about me but she didn't care. She told me she was going to take him away from me.

He didn't do nothing to stop her from calling. I asked him to change his number but NO!

Then after 1 month 1/2 of all the drama I found out I was pregnant. I decided to keep it. He wasn't happy. He said I was trying to trap him (which isn't true). For awhile we were good and got along and I thought he stop talking to her. But the truth was he was hiding it a little better. He was trying to have me and her at the same time. I put up with it over and over and over again thinking it was her ruining my life. But it turns out he started to gain feelings for her too. Everytime I argued about her it made him more mad at me and made him run to her because she would always make him feel better. He would complain about me to her.

He would leave me at home for hours at night while I'm crying hoping he's not with her. He wouldn't pick up the phone and if I was going into labor he wouldn't know because he wouldn't answer for hours.

It got to the point I didn't want to be with him anymore I was going to move out but then he got into a motorcycle accident. I was by his side through the whole thing. I was the one who took care of him. He had road rash all over his body and his shoulder got dislocated. The accident was so bad that if he didn't wear his helmet he would have died. If it wasn't for me his skin would have got infected. So I was treating his wounds and changing the dressings EVERYDAY. I even helped him go use the toilet, take showers, brushed his teeth and feed him. He had a bad arm. He couldn't do anything around the house. I was going to work and taking care of him everyday while I was 6 months pregnant.

But now that he's all healed he starts with the same c**p. I thought the accident made us bond and God did that so I didn't make the mistake and walk out on him. I started to feel like we were going to make it after all.

Then I found out he was talking to her once again. I freak out on him and bursted into tears. I felt like he used me. The whole time he was hurt he made me feel like I was his one and only. That we were going to fix things. That day that I found out about her He told me he thinks we need a break. I felt so STUPID. Like how could he do this to me after all I've done for him.

My whole pregnancy I went to all my appointments alone. I went through everything alone. It's to the point I dont even want him around when I give birth. It's not like he will even pick up his phone when I will call him to let him know when I'm in labor.

I'm so depressed and I know I will get through this, but now that I'm already 8 months pregnant he decides this. It's so hard for me to take all this in all at once. He has been talking to same girl behind my back my whole pregnancy and he blames me being moody all the time that he's not happy with me. He said our relationship isn't the same anymore. I honestly believe he's leaving me for the other girl, but he said that's not it. He needs time alone but when hes not with me he's with her. SO he actually means he needs time away from me.

The only reason I've been moody with him is because when i found out about her I became insecure and didn't trust him.

HELP!!!! PLEASE..

Has anyone else been through this or something similar and got over it fast? I feel like I can't get over him anytime soon.

Answer 1

I am so sorry. He sounds like a jerk! You should leave him, you will be a lot better off without him. Focus only on yourself and the baby

Answer 2

too long i got bored sorry  :(

Answer 3

leave the bum he is a cheater chances are when you have you baby if you leave him he will not pay child support  do not put his name on the birth cert. he does not deserved to be a father start a new life with out him

Answer 4

Same thing happend with me, i moved out and lived with my bff from high school

Answer 5

No offence, but this guy sounds like a jerk! You shouldn't be with him, you will love to have your baby all to yourself. If you are struggling, call up someone you are close to, your  mom, another member of family maybe. Everything will be fine. Once your baby comes there will be only one love in your life! x good luck x

Answer 6

You should be given an answer straight from someone you trust and/or love and not from strangers like me. However, my advice is for you to have the father of your child to pay for child support and discuss on terms of child custody. I truly cannot tell you what to do besides my previous statement but I won't press to know anymore.

Be sure to take this as an adult and make haste on decisions b/c you might be the only one making the decisions around.

Answer 7

I hope you don't mind if I am blunt... He doesn't deserve you. Personally I say cut your losses. Yes it will be hard to get over, it's never easy, especially with how much heart and energy you have invested into this relationship. You can't force someone to love you, and you can't change people into who you want them to be. My heart goes out to you, but right now the most important thing is you and that beautiful life you are blessed with. Soon life is going to completely change for you! You will soon be someone's mother. What kind of life do you want for your child? Focus your energy on that precious baby of yours. When that baby comes you will know a love like you have never known before! Make yourself happy, enjoy the most special moment of laying your eyes on your child for the very first time, the time flys so fast! Don't waste your time chasing something that unfortunately isn't there. I think you already knew this but maybe just needed to hear it.

Good luck sweetie, and congratulations on your little blessing!

Answer 8

what is happening to you is very sad, but you just have to sit him down & talk to him & if he dosn't listen then he dosn't deserve you. You can also try councleing.

Answer 9

The problem started months ago.

He did not have to go with that other girl any more than he initially went with you.

He made a free choice.

Sadly, YOU are the one who has to live with consequences.

Ensure that he at least pays maintenance

Answer 10

give him his wish and dump him. you will find another guy, i mean you help this guy heal and that's the thanks you get , you should have sprayed alcohol on his road rash. get rid of him and find a guy who will love you and take care of you.

Answer 11

oh my goddd. instead of asking strangers for help i think that you should talk to someone you love and trust, like your mom or best friend, and sort this all out. i'm sorry about your situation and i don't know what to tell you except to talk this out with someone. and make sure you let your boyfriend know what's happening in the end. good luck! hope i helped

Answer 12

I was in the same position. I was pregnant with my second child when hubby started an affair with someone he met on the internet. He even went to stay with her for 2 weeks leaving me on my own with a 1 year old & 7 months pregnant.

He was messaging and phoning her in full view, he didnt even try to hide it. He said if i didnt like it i could leave, which he knew i couldnt.I was living in his house and had nowhere else to go so basically he treated me like ****.

In the end my baby was born 2 months early due to the stress. She was in intensive care yet he still didnt come to see her till she was 3 days old (and only cos his mum forced him). i found out he didnt come to the hospital earlier because "he was talking to her on the internet". That was the final straw for me. I dumped him and 6 months later i had a lovely house for me and my 2 daughters and got on with my life. It was hard but worth it.

He has since dumped her (turns out she wasnt that great after all) and tried to come crawling back to me. At which point i kicked the door in his face....Hard.

Concentrate on your baby hun, he aint worth it.

Answer 13

First of all, you are pregnant and even with the best of men, a woman can be moody.  I'm not sure of your age or your boyfriend's age, but it sounds as if he's not handling this situation in a mature manner.  I know it's difficult, but you do need to calm down.  Have you even considered that you may be the one who needs a break.  The stress you've allowed yourself to be under is not healthy and can have effects on your unborn child.

There's no easy or quick fix to your dilema.  You have feelings for this man and will have to deal with him for the rest of your life since you will be having his child soon.  You're entitled to feeling the way you do, and he's his own person and entitled to feel however he does.  I would say to take the break and let things calm down between you two.  If both of you come to the decision to be together, then give it a try.  After a relationship has been tainted with cheating, it's hard to forgive and get past that, so you'll have to decide if that's something you can do.  If you can't forgive and learn to trust him again, then you'll both be miserable without trust and fights started by accusations.  That's no way to live and bring a child into this world.

Take a break and try to find peace to accept whatever happens with him.  Time has a way of softening wounds, and you'll be okay.  But it's not good to hold on to a man when you're this upset by what he's done ( you have all the reason in the world to be) just to say you have him and she doesn't.  

If after the break you both do decide to give it a try, he should definintely acknowledge the hurt and pain he's caused you and be understanding of the way you feel.

just my 2 cents....

Answer 14

Sometimes when all seems lost you find something wonderful. Think what you have first and build upon that.

You are about to become a mother this is an adventure that will last you a lifetime. You will need to let go of whoever does not have the maturity to join you on this adventure. It seems to me that you seek someone to help you stand on your own 2 feet. Well you don't have that but what you do have is a new life on the way that needs you more. Ditch the dead weight and look for friends and family that will give you the confidence to be the best that you can be.

Seek those that empower you.

Look out for signs of love, friendship and support.

Do things that make you feel good.

Stop doing things that make you feel bad.

Protect yourself and your family from time wasters after all you would not like to invite a waster into your new family unit would you?