I'm Having Trouble With My Writing Due To Being Inexperienced...?

Question

...In the area of grief.

In the story I'm writing, many of the characters have lost loved ones (due to a war going on). As I'm rereading, I feel like I'm straying from what people would actually feel when mourning someone they love. Can anyone give me some tips, or even a personal story that I can reference to? If I have people read it, I don't want to offend anyone who has experience in the grief/death area by not portraying it that way that it actually feels. ^^;

Thanks in advance!

Answer 1

One way for you to gain experience in any subject is to do a little research. I mean, think about it: How many fiction books are based in things you know the author has never experienced? (Books in space, books underwater, books in different time periods, etc.) If you want to learn more about grief, especially grief as it applies to war, try reading a few interviews or watching documentaries where people are interviewed about their grief/experiences. Try reading memoirs from soldiers who have come back from war in order to "see" how they talk about their grief. "The Things They Carried" is one that comes to mind right away. You can also read about how grief is typically worked out in psychological journals/articles. It's just going to take a little looking around to find articles that pertain to war, etc.

One thing to remember, though, is that you need to think about grief in regards to your characters. One person might break down and bake cakes out of grief (my mother is the kind to busy herself with work and avoid talking about it). Some people might drink. Others might not feel terrible "pain" but think of lost friends and loved ones of being in a better place. Others might be angry, and still others might feel bad for not feeling sad enough about the loss. If you do a little research and develop your characters to the point where the each have distinct personalities, then you can sit back and imagine what your character would do all alone the night after a funeral, for example. What would they wear/say/think/do? You don't have to use any of this in your final draft, but it gives you an idea of how your character would deal with grief in a general sense. Then you can go about writing about grief in a way that suits his/her personality. Does that help?

Answer 2

I think it is respectful for you to ask this question. I personally haven't experienced this. But I believe it is worse than any other pain inflicted and some people do things they wouldn't normally do. People can change greatly after losing a loved one.