I'm I wrong For Not Want My Husband To Be..?

Question

I got offer this job which will require me to travel for 8mo for the 1st yr. My husband supposed to be taking care of our 22mo old son but he want me to send him to my sister’s ‘cause he said he will keep him a wake at night and he won’t be able to have relaxing time. I think the real reason is he wants to party while I’m gone which I don’t care but is selfish of him to not take care of his child I was taking care of our son while he was in Iraq for the army and that was almost 18mo. Anyhow, so I’m leaving our son with my sister and I told him that I will pay her $1200 a mo for the day care during the day and for every thing else, and incase anything happen to me she will be my beneficiary to take care of my son since his dad won’t take care of him for 8mo and think hi will for the next 18yrs. Now he is mad and say I don’t trust him. Married 3yrs he is 31 i'm 22.

Answer 1

do not take the job!

how in the world could you leave your child for 8 months, even if your child is with the father, it will affect the child more than you will believe.  if you want to be a mom, you need to stay with your child.  it's just a job!  if it was the service or something, well then that would be different, you would have no choice, but you are just doing this for money, that's just plain irresponsible.

grow up and be a mother to your son.

it's unfair to the child.

this is not about the father being a bad dad, it's about you being a bad mom.

Answer 2

NO you not if he is not taking care of his child while you alife and married he won't when you dead and not together. You did the right thing making your sis the beneficiary.  

Answer 3

he's a stupid ***...it just shows how much he cares for his son...

Answer 4

you picked him..........

Answer 5

Thats a hard situation,and he asked for it for not accepting to take care ofhis own child,thats bad anyway be strong en let you kid have someone u can trust,Be carefull in all and God bless you

Answer 6

Your problems may go deeper than dad just "babysitting". A child is both parents' responsibility. As a mom, you know lack of sleep of sleep comes with the territory. You may want to look into some counseling for you and your husband (just you if he won't go). And even though your sister is your beneficiary, if something were to happen to him, legally his dad would have him, unless you've talked with a lawyer about how to handle this. It seems that there is a trust issue between you and I really recommend counseling.  

Answer 7

Trust got no thing to do with this. He doesn't want be a dad to his son so why should you let him have your money and never take care of your kid he is trying to manipulate the sit-ion.  

Answer 8

It sounds like he's not supportive of your decision. He doesnt seem to care about his son to take full responsibility of him whilst you're away. He doesn't deserve you or your son, I too have been married for 3 years, I am also 22 and its tough being on the recieving end. Get support from your family and leave him, he obviously is happy making babies just cant deal with them when they arrive. Best of luck!!!!

Answer 9

He is a selfish idiot.  My husband would NEVER let someone else take our children.  Why did you let him do that?  I would have made him keep his son.  He won't get relaxing time?!  My husband and I have 3 kids and we can't remember the last time we had 'relaxing time'.  You should divorce him.

Answer 10

Where in the world does the trust play in this situation.It doesn't.Trust doesn't have to do with nothing in this situation.He's the one who said that he couldn't be a man a take care of his son.That's how I see it.So I don't know why he's talking about trust.

Answer 11

first of all your age doesnt have to do with the issue you re having , except that he should be more mature . how in the world would he want somebody to take care of his son while he is capable . i mean there is nothing wrong with him physically,is it ? and the boy is 22 months old not a newborn . i can t see how my hubby would say this and about trust let s not even go there cause i dont see the point . you trusted him to be the parent while you are not around ? (it is his job too by the way) and he can t do that so why would you trust him to be the beneficiary? a normal couple will keep the child at home and seek family(sister or your mother) help if need arises . that is just my opinion  

Answer 12

Well I don't blame you. If he won't step up and take care of the baby now he won't do it when your dead. That was a agood call and I will stand my grounds on that until he grows up.

Answer 13

Grow up u plainly don't trust him at all.  

I had a wife that was 24 when I married her she accused me every day we were apart that I was cheating on her while I was trying ti get her into the USA I was 45 at the time.

Now we are divorced she slept with my best friend while I was at work and his wife was in Dallas TX.  

Answer 14

Geez. Tell him to stop being a child and start being a real dad.  

Answer 15

No, I think you are right and very smart in having your sister taking care of your son, she would be foolish to turn down $1200 a month for childcare.

Yes, your son would benefit by being with his father, but some fathers do not want to be fathers, so you are very smart in wanting and paying your sister to take care of your son.

Some fathers just do not want to be fathers, explain to your sister, that you are doing what you think is best for your son by your sister taking care of your son, explain to her that you know what you are doing and you really believe and know in your heart that she is the best one to take care of your son.

You know your husband, and you know and feel that he is not the right one to take care of your son by what he told you.

Stick to your guns, your son is happy with your sister, you did what is best, you know what is best.

Your sister will help you, you are blood,  your sister loves you, husbands come and go, family is forever.

Answer 16

he thinks u don't trust him? huh? he's sooo selfish. he feels like it's another person's responsibility to take care of his kid. talk about a deadbeat. you made the right decision for your son by making her the beneficiary. seems like if something happens to you that she'd be taking care of your son anyway.

Answer 17

d**n what kind of father is he!!

Since he insist on your sister, I would not trust him with the baby!!

He is really messed up!!  Expect more problems in your relatiionship once you return in 8 months!

Answer 18

Thats just the way guys are.  Not much you can do about it.  They usually get interested in children when they get to the age where he can teach him how to spit and f**t the alphabet and throw sharp sticks at small animals.