I'm Just About To Turn 14 And Have A Curfew Of 7 And Can't Date Until I'm 16 - 18 is This Fair?

Question

I'm Not Allowed To sleep over (ever)

Or Go Parties Unless My Parents Knows Thier Parents Very Very Very Well And It Still A Slim Chance Because My parent Don't Change The Curfew

I Also Can't Go Out (friends Not Dates) With People My Parents Don't know Really Really Well Which Is Hard When I Make Knew Friends

I Can't Go To My Friends House Until They hvae come To Mine First

And I'm not Allowed To Date Untill I'm 16 My Parents Said 18 But I Kept On Complaing.

She Said I Shouldn't Kiss Anyone Until I Am Married

And I Have to Leave Parties Really Early To get Home To My Curfew Is This Fair I Have to Always Be The First One To Leave All Of My friedns And They Are Staring Too Notice Too. Wat Should I Do? Is This Fair?

Answer 1

thats really not fair. this is what you tell them.

1. remind them of what a great daughter you are. remind them not to take that for granted. this makes them more likely to listen to what you have to say.

2. tell them that you are 14 years old and if 4 short years you will, god willing, be at university. this will get them into a state off mild shock and concern, because they obviously think you are 5. at university there are going to be guys who are likely to take advantage of an 18 year old girl with no experience. you need to become accustomed to guys before you are 18. dont bring s*x into it because that will scare them too much. make sure they know that a teenagers job is to learn as much as they can before they reach  adulthood and must live by themselves. adolesence prepares you for the real world, and the real world does not have a 7:00 cerfew.

3. this next part may or may not work. ask them WHY you are not allowed to sleep over. then ask them how many girls have died as a result of a sleepover at a friends house. the answer for this purpose is none. find out their reason for not letting you do it, and then work hard at extinguishing their fears.

4. ask them about their lives, how they met, etc. did they kiss before they were married? yes. hopefuly. and btw theres NOTHING they can do about you kissing someone.

5. every parent wants the best for their kid. use powerful word like 'suffocated' and 'chained up' and 'trapped' to describe how you feel about them trying to make you 5 years old again.

6. remember not to shout or get mad cuz this will turn their ears off

or just ask them to send you to boarding school. good luck!

Answer 2

wow reminds me of my early teen years

been there,done that, wear the Tshirt

just a shame there are not more parents like yours

good luck, they are only doing what they think is best for you

Answer 3

Those are the same rules I have to go by for my parents. Except my curfew is 6 for hangouts and 8 for parties.

You should just listen to them. Trust me, if you don't it will just get more strict. I'm the same age as you.  

Answer 4

some of it dont sound fair but most of it does. im not going to let my son date till hes 16 and he has to come in when the street lights come on. I have to know his friends parents and his friends would have to stay the night at my place atleast once so i get to know them. He can start kissing when he starts dating. we are forced to hold are kids so close with ther way the world is no adays. dont be mad at your mom because she is just trying to keep you safe and believe me you will thank her later for it. My mom let me do what ever i wanted and i ended up in drugs had my son at 16 and was always getting in trouble all because i started dating when i was young. So thank your mom for all shes does because shes only thinking about your future

Answer 5

i understand the whole partything, espically when there arnt parents around, or u dont know the people that well you can get into some awkward situtions.

along w/ the fact you cant hang out w/ people ur parent s dont know.

the dating/ kissing thing is ridiculous, i mean im a little older than you & i'm dating a boy 2 yrs my senior.  

Answer 6

Yes, this is fair.  You are 13 ie barely a teenager.  I have an 8 year old and there is no way on the face of this planet that she is going to be allowed ANYWHERE without me knowing exactly where she is until she is in her very late teens.

As for dating, why on earth are you even thinking of dating at this age.  You are far too young to be even thinking about boys in that way.  they should still be friends and nothing more.  

Sorry but I think your parents should be firmly shaken by the hand and congratulated for imposing these rules.  I know its difficult for you but you will appreciate what they have done for you in the future.

Answer 7

If this is in the summer or on weekends: no, not fair. It's the same way with one of my friends and we just accepted it till high school. Just explain to your parents that that kind of curfew and those extremely strict rules are not going to help you in any way for talking with new people in the real world or anything. It's going to hurt you, leave you not knowing how to really talk to new people. A curfew of 7 is ridiculous, no offense. Half the time that's what time the party starts when I go to bonfires and such at my friends houses. I'd say a 9:00 or 9:30 curfew is perfectly acceptable if you're responsible.  

Answer 8

Stop whining and grow up. Your parents have put these rules in place to protect you, because teen girls your age face a lot of dangers today. There is nothing wrong with you being made to wait until you are 16 or even 18 to date- I had to wait until that age myself, and there is nothing wrong with me. As for slumber parties, I can't blame your parents for not allowing you to go to them- there are lots of parties where girls get raped and come home pregnant afterwords, and your parents sound like they are smart enough to recognize this.

The same principle applies to your being allowed to go out with your friends- your parents have a legal obligation to protect you and keep you safe, and they naturally want to know where you are and with whom you are associating. This is for your own safety, sweetie, and to keep you from being exposed to things which no CHILD your age has any business knowing about, such as drugs, alcohol, and s*x.  You are way too young to be dating- there are far too many girls your age who end up pregnant because they were allowed to date. Give yourself some time to grow up. There is nothing wrong either with your having a 7pm curfew on school nights- you need time to do your homework and study, and I am sure your parents would prefer that you have a sit down dinner as a family on a regular basis- most parents I know want this. Also, kids your age need lots of sleep to stay healthy and do well in school, which is something you need to really be concentrating on if you want to go onto college in a few years.

In short, I agree with your parents' rules- they aren't unreasonable, and they actually are proof that your parents love and care about you. In a few more years, when you turn 18 and are a legal adult, you can make these decisions for yourself- and by then, you will be thankful your parents cared enough to protect you and keep you safe. Until then, you just need to grin and bear it.  

Answer 9

no! thats ridiculous! sit down and talk with your parents and tell them that you are only going to be young once, so you should enjoy it while you can. Dont start screaming or yelling- just comprimise with them. Be mature and ask them for maybe an extended curfew, and other things like that. not kissing until you are married???!!! no!

Answer 10

wow and i thought i was overprotective..

unless you live somewhere really rough i think 7pm is a little early, especially in Summer months.

Mind a lot does depend on how far away from home you are, if you are close by 7pm is really early,

My girls are 8 and 11 and as long as they are within shouting distance they have till 8pm, in Summer.

I'm constantly checking that they are where they say they will be. And i think at times i'm over the top.....

but fact is that's the rules and you have to stick by them

Answer 11

Obey your parents rules.  Try to prove that you are responsible and mature, and maybe your good behavior will encourage them to loosen the reigns a bit.  

Answer 12

Okay

well I am 13 about too turn 14 in April and different parents have different rules right ?

my parents only let me go on dates if it's with friends so like group dates, maybe try suggesting that go to the movies or something and the parties I dunno because my parents let me go to parties if they know who the person is.

Answer 13

I had to do the same exact thing. It may not seem fair right now, but try and comply with their rules. Try to compromise with them. They are only looking out for your best interests.

Answer 14

Well for one, guidelines are generally heavily based on your religion and gender.

For example, if you are raised in a heavily conservative and religion-based family, you will obviously be receiving a strict set of guidelines to live up to both parents' and religious communities' guidelines.

Second, for females, guidelines tend to be strict. I had strict guidelines during my young teens, but we all get through them.

Because I live in an agnostic family, I wasn't expected to meet certain guidelines such as no dating or interaction until marriage. Of course, I was also very independant from an early age, and have earned my gracious freedoms from my parents by being responsible and able to take care of myself.

What it all comes down to is your safety and expectations. Not only should you heed these rules, but should also work towards proving yourself and your ability to be a responsible young adult. It may be the time of your life now, but the rest of your life is based on your choices made during your adolesance.

Answer 15

no

that is so unfair! i am 13, and i am allowed to date, have sleepovers, go to parties, and go places with friends my parents dont know. no offence, but your parents REALLY need to loosen up!! and your curfew is outragious! when i go out, my curfew is 10/11. you should have a talk with them and explain that what they are doing is really unfaiir.!!

Answer 16

It really don't matter whats fair, since nothing in life is fair. But those are your parents rules and you need to obey them, and belive me, it  could be worse.

answer mine (=

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?...

Answer 17

As a mother of a 14 year old I do think it's a little extreme.  

My daughter's curfew is 9pm unless she's at a church function.

No parties anymore, even if I know the parents.  I let her go to one this summer and found out later the mother was there and supplying the 12-15 year olds alcohol.  My daughter wasn't drinking because she knew she was being picked up at 9pm.

No going out with people I don't know, and no going to any friends houses that I do know (yep, they have to come here first) unless I've met the parents too and made sure they know her curfew, her computer rules and I have their word they won't be going anywhere but their house.  Some of the parents I don't trust, so she's not allowed to those friends houses.

She's allowed to have a boyfriend at school, but won't see him after school (all the boys she likes live far away so this is never a problem).

I also have all of her computer passwords and although I don't check daily (or even weekly for that matter) she does know I can and do check whenever I feel like it.

I'm not doing it to be a mean mom or unfair.  She used to have a lot more freedom but that bit me in the butt when I found out she did drugs at a friends house during a sleepover.  I have to make rules that seem strict to keep her safe.  I the beginning, she hated me for it.  But she understands now (after a long summer) my reasons and knows that my rules give her a good reason not to be pressured into doing something she doesn't want to do.  14 is a tough age for peer pressure and as a parent it's my job to help her through that.  She's not strong enough to say no (past mistakes have proven this...for now), but knowing that she has to look me in the eye at the end of the night...helps.