I'm PREGNANT with my BESTFRIEND's Husband..Should i ABORT or give this baby LIFE?

Question

i'm 3 weeks pregnant with my bestfriend's husband,she has no idea.you NEED to READ THE WHOLE THING to UNDERSTAND my Messed up SITUATION.In 2007 my bestfriend asked me to ve a baby for them.She will never be able to get pregnant due to medical complications.They ve been married for 3yrs & they wanted a baby.I asked her to adopt but she wanted her husband to ve his own biological child.I was against this idea.I asked her to find another surrogate mom but she was afraid the woman may change her mind & not give them the child, or even spoil their secret.I tried to say no but she cried & begged & was afraid of losing her husband.She said she trusted me & knew that i would keep it a secret 4 them(She would make people think you actually gave birth to the child).We had 3 meetings with husband & saw a councelor.I finally agreed to do it.

My best friend & i are from south Africa.We came together to the states 4yrs ago.Because of our cultural beliefs,we were supposed to keep it a secret & once the child was born,we would pretend it was her biological child,her family & mine would never know.they are in africa.

We thought of ways of how her husband & I were going to ve s*x.We wanted it to be quick & over with.She booked a Hotel for her us.I met him there after work;it was the most weird feeling i had ever had when i walked into the room & saw him.We had some wine to relax.we were both so nervous,we didn't know what to do.He then kissed me & i felt chills down my spine.

For the first time, in the years i ve known him(as my best friend's man) I NOTICED him, I LOOKED AT HIM & he had the most beautiful blues i had ever seen.I knew immediately it was wrong bcoz i liked what i was seeing in front of me,i stormed at the room & went home.I called my friend & said i wasn't going to do it bcos it was wrong.She said i needed to give it time. 2 months later, we tried again & i still couldn't get myself to sleep with him.A month later at a warming party for their 2nd house,he & I went outside to talk about the whole thing.

I had always known he was good looking but i didn't realize how handsome he was up close & personal.He is British(has been in the States for years),6”4,brown hair,blue eyes.

My friend came outside where we were, sat on his lap & said “you guys should try again later tonight”.later that night, he & I went to a separate room & we did it (s.ex), 3 times in one night.

The problem was I didn't get pregnant bcos i was on & off the pill.I finally made up my mind that i was not going to do it anyway.She finally understood & accepted.She called her family & told them about her situation.

MESSED UP SITUATION AFTER THE NIGHT

My messed situation is, after that night of he & I going at it 3 rounds,we developed feelings for eachother.We knew it was not right.We(he & I) decided it was best that i went back to Africa for sometime so we could get over eachother.I took a break & he financed my trip & stay in Africa

I was there for 6 months.He called me (in Africa) once a week to see if i needed any more money.I came back to the States about 3 months ago.My bestfriend told me her marriage was not going were and she suspected that it had to do with her unability to ve a child. 2 months after my arrival i ran into Him.He grabbed me & kissed me.later that night he came to my apartment & we had s*x.(i Know very well that i'm wrong for doing this).Now i'm pregnant with his baby.He wants me to keep the baby as ours(he & I).

I don't want to excuse my behavior but i think my friend pushed me into this corner.

I know what we ve done is wrong but i think i'm falling for him.Should I abort to spare my friend Or give this child growing in me a chance to have a life.(My parents will just have to kill me bcos they don't want mixed kids) How do i approach my friend?Should i give her the child against his wishes. He says he will file for divorce bcos their marriage is on rocks.

Answer 1

Wow! You are right in saying this is a huge mess.  Since you are asking for opinions this is mine.

Face the problem head on.  Tell your friend that since the night you and her husband had s*x you began to have feelings for each other.  Tell her the truth, she was in on the whole thing to begin with.  What wife would actually encourage her husband to have s*x with her best friend anyways?  There are other ways out there to have another woman carry a baby for you, then to have your husband sleep with someone else.  To me it sounds as if this couple had problems way before your situation even came up.

I encourage you to not get an abortion. Do not end this child's life because of a mistake the 3 of you made.  Why should a baby die because the grown-ups messed up?  This baby is yours now.  You need to make the decision, not the man nor this other woman.  You are the one who has to live with the choice you make, not them.

If you feel you cannot bare to keep and raise the baby on your own then please give it up for adoption.  Don't end his/her life.  There are so many couples out there who want a baby and cannot get one.  You have one, you saw how desperate your friend was to have a baby.  So desperate that she would share her husband with her best friend.  Think on that...