I'm Pregnant. We both wanted it, until it actually happened. Now he doesnt want the baby. What do I do?

Question

My boyfriend and I have known each other for 8 years, and have been dateing for the past year. He has always said he wanted kids, and eventually came aroundn to asking me to get off birth control, so we can have kids. We tried for 7 months, and we finally got pregnant.

We live in different states. The plan was for me to get pregnant, and it was 3 months later he would move in with me. I have my own apartment and he lives with mom.

I can't drive, I've never driven, and he owns his car.

So anyways, I took a pregnancy test, and it was positive. He wasnt excited when I told him, and a couple days later, said he didnt want kids. We fought, and he didnt say it, but I asked him, if he wanted me to get an abortion, and he said yes. We fought some more, and we keep breaking up and getting back together. He will no longer move here, and will only have anything to do with the baby if I move to his state.

He said he'll love the baby and take care of it. But it seems only if I move there.

Answer 1

He is trying to control you.  Don't let him do it.  Stay with your support system.  My daughter will be home sometime tomorrow night, she too is pregnant with a long story behind her jack*** boyfriend.  She has a 3 year old.  She is coming home so she has some support and a free babysitter.  Think of trying to raise those kids where he is and having to pay for 2 at a babysitter.  He isn't going to help or he would have come to take care of you and would have never said to kill that unborn baby.  You CAN do it.  Hang in there.  You WILL find someone to care about you AND your children.  I know it's hard doing it alone.  Find a pregnancy crisis center near you.  They will help you with counseling and many other baby/maternity needs.  Good luck.

Answer 2

Since you have a kid already and are obviously not with its father you should realize what being a single mom is like!

Now you are possibly going to add 2 to that equation.  You should have made sure you guys were together for real before deciding to have a family.

If he was not willing to move in with you then you should have realized the situation you would be in.  Sometimes guys just like to tell girls what they want to hear.  So you need to be aware of these things you have another kid that depends on you not to make emotional decisions but to make practicle ones.  

Think really hard before you make a choice that is going to affect your children.

My mom always choose the men in her life before us kids.  Very heartbreaking to us and I was aware of it when I was about 6 years old without anyone telling me or gossiping about it.

Answer 3

Be strong, stand up for yourself, do what you want, its your body.  You have to do what is right for you.  There are alot of women out there doing it themselves.  You don't need a man to make you feel guilty for the choices you make.  You can do it.  Just believe in yourself.

Answer 4

wow, Im sorry your bf is being this way. I have two boys i love them to death, im against abortion. anyways, do what you want. there are ALOT of single mothers out there that get throu it all. Plus if ur bf cant be man enough to take care of his responsibility like a man should then you deserve better. he shouldnt be having you pick between killing ur baby n moving to where he is...does that make since??????

Answer 5

Sounds like you have been deceived and manipulated. Your boyfriend is not ready for marriage, commitment, relationships or beign a father.  You might have deceived yourself a bit too thinking he would move in with you just cause you had a baby and did not wait to actually be living together to make this happen.  Bottomline you chose to get pregnant when your relationship was not settled down and fromt he sound of it there is not much of a relationship to settle.  You are now a single mom of two kids.  Good Luck.

Answer 6

I would ditch the guy. Obviously he doesn't know what he wants. Now you are with child, you need to put that baby first. YOU shouldn't be the one moving in your early condition anyways, you are in your first trimester. Either he should move to you or you should tell him you will end it and file for child support, maybe that'll motivate him. I think he is being childish, but hey, you never know, maybe if you give him space, he will quit acting like this and come around.

Answer 7

Easy.You have done it his way for eight years by the looks of things,right up to getting pregnant,he can read you like a book.He is still manipulating you to do waht he wants.Now it's your turn to hold your head up high and not take it anymore.There are so many divorces even when people love each other.It sounds like ,even though you should be in the honeymoon stage of your relationship,that there is no commitment or caring just manipulation.To me it's going nowhere.Take charge and get the backbone he won't expect.Tell him you have had enough you are keeping the baby and that you will find someone that will care for both of you.Then don't talk to him .He will panic(since you have his baby)and he will either get scared that you will find someone else,or he won't care.Either way you will have the best outcome.He will come there with you,which will be good.Or he will have nothing to do with you,which means he didn't care.That will be good too because you will know where you stand and you can move on and find someone who will care .be strong cheers

Answer 8

You need to think of the kids. He doesnt sound very into your relationship and having a child at all. Set him straight and there should be no reason why the plans you both made have changed. Its not fair.

He needs to be reasonable. Dont let him walk all over you.

Good Luck

Answer 9

This is why you should have been married FIRST before bringing an innocent child into the world. It's NOT fair to your baby to bring him/her into this world when there are so many uncertainties. Are you sure your bf really wanted children now? Or did you pressure him into saying yes.

Don't have an abortion it's not this poor baby's fault the father can't make an honest woman of his/her mom.