I'm Really Scared For Myself...???

Question

I feel like a mess right now. I am trying to recover from an eating disorder and my mom is threatening to put me into inpatient if i cant gain at least 10lbs. I also think i am moderately/severely depressed. I cry every day and find it hard to do the things i used to. I am also extremely self-conscious and have low self-esteem. I also get these "hazy spells" where it feels like there is a dark cloud over my head. School starts in less than 2 weeks (i am entering my junior year) and i have no idea how I'm going to go back. The kids at school are mean and i have no self-confidence. Its a huge deal for me to be around people because i worry what they think of me. Plus i cant imagine handling my depression, recovering from my eating disorder, and balancing schoolwork at the same time. On top of all this, my parents are getting a divorce. I feel so alone right now. My mom is taking me to a doctor next week, but I'm afraid she'll just see what a mess i am and want to throw me in the hospital right away. What should i do? I can't live like this anymore?

Answer 1

I feel like I know you it's crazy.

I was the same way,

It did get better, eventually,

I can't tell you how it did,

But just hang in there.

If it doesn't get better soon with school,

take internet school, that was an option for me,

but like I said, it got better.

Just don't runaway from it yet,

people smell fear, and pick on what's weaker than them.

Just walk and hold your head high girl,

I know you can do it. :)

Answer 2

i understand what youre going through and i would really want to help you.. im 17 we're around the same age ;D

so u shouldnt feel lonely at all.ur never alone

u should add me on mesenger : [e-mail]

or send me an email or somethin. it would be nice if we talked ;D

Answer 3

you need to get past thinking that everyone is thinking about you, they are most likely not. you are the only you out there and you need to make peace with who you are, then your self confidence will return. life is not easy for most of us so just keep living each day and i hope your life gets better for you

Answer 4

Don"t look at it as your Mom"Throwing" you into the hospital. Look at it as your Mom being on your side & Loving you enough to get the help you need,Just hang in there,things will improve the Drs. will have you straightened out in no time. You also have to help yourself,.Just think positive & May God Bless You.  

Answer 5

It sounds like you are really struggeling with alot of difficult problems. Divorce, bulimia. depression, wow! I know the idea of going to the hospital is very intimidating to you right now but, how about looking at it another way. You are very overwhelmed with depression, you can't start healing any of your other issues until you get your depression under control. It sounds to me like some intensive treatment that can get you on the right meds. and counseling along with monitoring and support for your bulimia might be a godsend to you right now You say you"can't live like this anymore" so obviously it is too big of a problem for you to handle by yourself. Get the treatment you need and deserve so that you can start living the happy and fulfilled life that is waiting for you. Best wishes!

Answer 6

Sounds like you already know that you need help.  Would entering a respectful treatment program really be that bad?  Could it be any worse than you feel right now?  I've never had an eating disorder, but I have had a mini bout with depression.  I understand finding it hard to do what you used to do or trying to keep up with expectations of the day.  I remember feeling like I wasn't sure how I would do all the things in my day that were expected of me.  I went to a therapist for a couple months and worked my way through it.  That was about 9 years ago.

As for school, take it day by day and you might want to give your teachers a heads up on how you're feeling.  I'm a high school teacher and I would want to know what's going on with you emotionally.  Teachers can try to stop the harrassment of the other kids if they are aware of what's going on.  We are also good listeners and we care about our students.  That's why we became teachers, to help you grow.

I'm also a mom, give yours a break.  I'm sure that she is worried sick about you and is looking for anyway to find a way to help you live a better life.  You might think her ideas are c**p, but I'm sure she's stuggling to find an answer for you.

Take deep breaths and find something positive to focus on even if it's just baby steps.  Take care, the teenage years are definitly NOT the best years of your life, you'll find this out as you grow older.

Answer 7

You might not have to go to the hospital.  The doctor may just put you on medication.  You did not mention if you were on medication.  Depression is caused by a chemical imballance in the brain.  I used to have depression and i cried a great deal.  I am on medication and see a counsellor.  I feel much better now.

Answer 8

ok right now just take a deep breath. Now what helps me is to talk to someone so I can get it out. So talk to a friend about your problems. For now just talk to a councilor. If you think bad about yourself it will not help at all so think good thoughts about your self. If you have any question just email me. hope this helps!

BTW I am sorry that your parents are getting a divorce but every thing will be ok. And no one is thinking bad about you.