I'm SO NERVOUS about s*x on wedding night and honeymoon!?

Question

So I'm getting married soon and I'm really nervous about s*x. I heard it hurts. And it's pretty painful your first time. I just want it to be magical the first time and not hurt. I'm definitely a virgin and definitely um....not loose or whatever. Only used tampons (if you catch my drift). Don't say like "just relax" b/c i've heard friends say before they did relax, but it didn't really help. Physically, it still really hurt, even with lubrication. Is there ANYTHING I can Physically do over the next few months to like prepare my v****a for s*x? Like an appropriate way to "loosen up" or whatever? Or to like prepare myself for um...penetration or whatever? I hear like that you can put your fingers in there and stretch it? is that wrong? gross? Sorry to be descriptive but I don't know how else to be. PLEASE only answer seriously. I'm sorry if I'm not describing it the best way, but I am being 100% serious. Thanks!

Answer 1

I'm in a similar situation. I'm getting married next June and I'm 1/2 terrified about the pain. It's just the unknown that worries me so much. Even hearing people say it hurts isn't enough...how much, tell me in detail. :-) As far as 'stretching yourself out' I've also heard that you can do that to ease the pain. I discussed it with my fiance' and he thought it was a great idea if I was up for it. That's not very comfortable either, I suppose there are 2 ways to do it...

1. you can do it gradually, just a little each day/week/month.

Or 2. I guess you could do it all at once?

I'd personally be afraid to do it all at once because I'd be worried I'd mess something up in the process...Either way, I'd recommend not doing it or stopping if it makes you feel even slightly uncomfortable morally or physically. I hope I helped a little? :)

Answer 2

Good on you for waiting! To be perfectly honest, it isn't that painful, but it does hurt a little bit - like a sore, sting pain. Trust me, it isn't that bad - just take it nice and slow and try to enjoy this moment together that you have waited so long for! Definitely use lubricant, and do try to relax as when you are nervous, you tense your muscles up down there.

Don't try to loosen yourself up by any means, just do it the way nature intended - you will be fine! I have to say, though, don't have this picture in your head that it will be all fireworks and magic.... its not.... but it will feel special knowing that you have saved yourself for this moment with your husband/soul mate.

Answer 3

four tips:

1. take it slow, dont rush into it or it will hurt.

2.tell him your nervous and that you want to take it slow. that will help you.

3 foreplay- let him use his hand to loosen you up a little bit. it will feel strange and if your really nervous you may not like it all that much (i didnt the first time). but its ok, just go with the flow. if your scared and want to stop im sure he will be ok with it.

4. when you do go for it, try being on top. I was on top my first time. that may seem scary but it gives you control. you can control how fast it goes in, you know how much it hurts more than he ever will. So you get on top of him, line his p***s up to your v****a and then use your weight to push it in. Lubrication will help, and when it goes in a little bit move it in and out a little bit. this will loosen you up some. it may take a little bit but it will go in and it wont hurt too much. it didnt hurt very much at all my first time. (although it may hurt the next few times too, at least trying to get it in). But its really not that bad.

dont be too scared.  

Answer 4

The magic doesn't come from it being painless. Its from it being your first time and the right time. It will hurt, but that is not very important if you are with the person you truly love.

Technically you could try and pop your own cherry (I've heard of people who did that to themselves with d****s and whatnot), but I think you should just not worry about.

EVERY woman has to go through this on her wedding night (if she didn't do it before). You are not the only person. And guess what? all those other married virgins survived, so will you.

My first time hurt very very much, but when I think back on it now that is not what I even think about.

And do relax. That will not make it pain free, but it will decrease some the pushing and friction involved in him trying to enter you and it will be more comfortable (but still probably hurt). You could try a lube, I personally think they are messy though. If you have lots of foreplay, you will not need lube anyways.  

Answer 5

I can't believe that after all these answers no one told you to go SEE YOUR DOCTOR.  You should definitely start visiting a gynocologist if you're planning on becoming sexually active, and assuming you don't want to start popping out babies right away, you should consider some form of birth control.

The pill, nuvaring, patch, or an iud will protect you from getting pregnant, and s*x will be less akward the first time if you're not fumbling with condoms.

Also, if you can handle the speculum, you'll be fine (it will be a nice prepatory stretch for your v****a anway).  

In the meantime, if you don't engage in foreplay with your fiance already, you might want to at least practice maturbation so that you can get a good idea of what makes you feel good.  It's nice to know how to have an o****m too - and it takes work for most women to have them.  

For your wedding night (or the next night- you might just be too worn out to have s*x that night!), make sure you invest in a good lubricant, and maybe some massage oil - that way you can get totally relaxed before hand.  Oh, and don't, DONT get drunk.  A glass or 2 of wine is ok to relax you, but if you're wasted it will not be pleasant or easy (or rememberable).

Good luck! :)

Answer 6

don't try to stretch yourself out, it is slightly painful for women the first time, but its good that you are willing to go through this pain for just one man and only for your mans pleasure. the first couple of times it may hurt and you might even bleed some after the s*x, its very normal, your husband should go slow and not expect it the first night if you are not 100% comfortable. i was still shy to be nude around my husband even after a few months of being married. have him use lots of lube and go slow once he has penetrated you it shouldn't hurt just the initial part. don't worry its natural and before you know it you will be enjoying your self with him every chance you get.

Answer 7

I want to commend your for waitng until your married,I was nervous my first time and it does hurt but its not that unbearable ask him to be paitient and go slow the slower the stroke the easier it is to go in you might also want to use a condom and lubricant it go in alot easier than without one i dont kno if the finger thing is true or not but u can do kegel excercise which is basically contracting the muscle you use to hold your pee and also try missionary position since it your first time trying a bunch of different postions will hurt!i hope this is of some help good luck and enjoy the moment because you can only loose it once once its gone its gone!

Answer 8

It doesnt always hurt and you know what?? when you are having s*x for the first time with the man you love all your fears will wash away..all you will be thinking about is being with that man for the rest of your life and loving the feeling of being intimate with him.

The main advice to give to you is to take it slow, enjoy the foreplay together before the s*x, have lubricant on hand just in case so that it will make the s*x more comfortable.

Answer 9

Newsflash:  You don't have to pork like wild rabbits that first night.  Part of the reason of honeymoon is to learn each other.  Since I don't know how much um, experience he has had, all I can offer you is this.

If he knows what he's doing, it won't hurt that much.  If it hurts too much in the process, stop.  If he refuses to stop, he's a jerk.  Take your time, part of s*x is the joy of learning each other's bodies, and where their buttons are.  

In the meantime... start reading up as much as you can on the infinite ways of sexual intercourse and see what you would like to try.  If you are that scared of the pain, please, tell him and he might be able to help ease your fears and make it not so bad.  If you haven't seen your ob/gyn yet, please make an appointment and share your fears with the doc.  They are wonderful at easing worries and explaining things much better than I can.  You'll also need some birth control options in place prior to that time anyway.  

If nothing else, an extra glass of champagne helps with the jitters.  And lubrication does help.  Please don't be afraid.  Good luck with your marriage.

Answer 10

Of COURSE you are being serious- it's a scary thing!  

Buy ASTROGLIDE.  I don't like KY because it's oil based, Astroglide is water based, and will probably be better for your body.  MOST people don't have a problem with oil based stuff, but you won't know until you make that mistake- I say- don't even make it!  You should also be prepared with condoms that are spermacidal if you haven't already visited your OB/GYN and gotten your birth control.  

Buy a d***o!  experiment on yourself!  Go slow, and get yourself used to the feeling, it will help you SO much, and he'll be THRILLED when he finds out that you own one!  

I'm sorry to all those for my seperate opinion- I do NOT advocate waiting until marraige to have s*x, because your sexual relationship with your partner is EXTREMELY important.  ( I DO ADVOCATE SAFE AND RESPONCIBLE s*x WITH ONLY ONE PARTNER AT A TIME AND THAT YOU RESPECT ONE ANOTHER!!!!)  People who prefer waiting sometimes don't like to aknowledge how important a roll it plays, but it's true.  Knowing if you are compatable in bed is huge, because if you are not, it's rare that both are able to remain faithful for the rest of their lives.  Unfulfilling s*x is miserable.  I know you have dreams of magic and romance on the wedding night, and you CAN have the romance, but you will hurt if you don't "warm yourself up" first.  You will probably bleed as well, so bring a towel to bed, and don't let that shock or frighten you.  have him go slow if it is possible for him to do so.  He may get impatient (one of the reasons why s*x BEFORE marraige is good- because you KNOW how their reactions are when you don't want it!).  You two should talk all this over BEFORE you get in bed.

BEST OF LUCK.  I REALLY do mean that!!  You may have a magical sexual union because you don't know the touch of anyone else, and that's what I'm hoping for you!  Just in case, sign a pre-nup.  

Answer 11

s*x will be uncomfortable at first. Buy K-Y Jelly/ or Astroglide to help with lubrication on your  honeymoon. You do need to relax and not get yourself worked up or mentally you will tighten your muscles and it will be very uncomfortable.

Answer 12

girl dnt worry, i am a boy of i've not married yet but i can tell u that GOD has some parts in human body just 4 s*x like p***s, GOD has made relaxment in s*x for both man and women, it is to reproduce, if ur fience understands u than best way is to tell him that u r feared of s*x so u both can sleep for first few days with out s*x, understand eachother and after few days when u understand each other u are ready for s*x, in first few days just have kissing and hugging and when r ready than u can rem,ove clothes and go 4 next, and keep in mind that when u r nervous ur hole start shrink and when u r mentely relax ur hole is much wider it can get much bigger c**k, get relax now, i saw ur question so i ans, i am student of medical so i knew the ans, if u wana know more than write to me on [e-mail] , okay baby relax now bi

Answer 13

I'm sorry if this is blunt or not an answer you want to hear, but if you are a virgin, and particularly if your partner is too, you may not succeed with vaginal intercourse on your first attempt.

It is true that some women lose their virginity with very little pain on the first attempt, and perhaps this will be the case for you, but I think you need to be careful of setting an expectation for the wedding night. After all your time spent waiting to find the right person, and waiting for the wedding night, your first time should be a good experience. You don't wind up disappointed if it does not work out, nor do you want your first time to be full of stress, or an unduly painful experience, by trying to achieve intercourse on your first try, when it may have been better to wait awhile.

There are many other things you and your partner can do besides intercourse. By your post, I am assuming you and your partner have not engaged in other forms of sexual activity yet. It might help you feel more comfortable, and make you both more aware of what will please each other sexually, if you engaged in some of these activities, and then led up to intercourse when you felt more ready. If you are not comfortable in engaging in these activities with your partner before you are married, it may be a more realistic expectation to think about experimenting with these on your honeymoon night, rather than thinking only of intercourse. If it happens, then great, but surely your goal on your wedding night should be expressing love and closeness toward one another, not just trying to achieve penetration.

In terms of preparing for s*x, yes, inserting your fingers into your v****a will help you be more aware of your body and what pleases you sexually, and will also help you get used to accommodating things in your v****a. Start with 1 finger, then when that feels comfortable, try increasing to 2 or 3 fingers (don't worry if this does not all happen overnight!) Other s*x toys like d****s or vibrators can also be used, although fingers are probably the easiest and most comfortable place to start. Pelvic floor exercises may also help.

When you do attempt sexual intercourse, you should also engage in foreplay beforehand, to ensure you are aroused. Your v****a will be tighter if you are not sexually excited, and penetration will almost certainly be very painful if that is the case. If you are aroused than you should become lubricated, but use of additional lubricants such as KY jelly can still be very helpful, and can hugely assist with achieving penetration.  

Answer 14

There are not too many girls left like you.

Here's a perfect answer...you need to somehow break your hymen if it hasn't already been broken from tampons.  That will definitely help, and don't worry, you haven't lost your virginity if you break your hymen.  Do you and your fiance "mess around?"  Like does he use his hands to pleasure you (geez, I sound so weird saying that)?  Ask him to help out a little bit and have him start with one finger, then slowly when you're comfortable, have him do two.  If your hymen's not broken, it will break.  If you two don't "mess around," try it yourself...

When you do go for it on your wedding night, have him use lubrication and partake in plenty of foreplay so you can naturally "lube yourself up" too.  Have him start slow.  If it gets uncomfortable or painful, have him stop.  You will have the rest of your lives together, don't make it happen just because it's your wedding night.  It's not a terrible pain, as long as he isn't breaking your hymen in the process, and it feels good after you and him are both wet enough.

Good Luck!