I'm SO angry right now... should I be, considering this situation?

Question

Okay, so my dad's cousin's kids [I think that would make them my second cousins? Not sure] came from New York for a "visit" to us down in D.C.

These people are like leeches. They follow you everywhere. One of the kids is 14, my age, and the rest are older [21, 22ish] They come for a short "visit" but end up staying for a month.

Now, one of the 22 year old girls [there's two - they're twins... let's call this one Mary] came into my room to greet me. And she says, "Hi!" and I smile and say hi back. Immediately she says to me, "What's this? What's this on your face? I mean, your eyes?" and embarrasses me in front of everyone.

I try to play it off and say, "Oh, just mascara." Mary was trying to make it seem as if I was a 6 year old kid who got her hands on her mother's makeup or something. And then she goes on to say, "It looks more like you've put on eyeliner and all that." And her sister goes, "Show me! I want to see!" I became like a circus animal or something, everyone wanted a turn to see me having made a fool of myself.

Then, I washed off the mascara - I didn't want any more comments on it.

After that, maybe half an hour passed and then I came into the room she was in, and my brother and 14-year-old 2nd cousin came in as well. She was standing right there, and said, "You know what? You're looking so weird!"

That was just like a blow to me or something. What AM I? Something she can just HURL insults at? My GOD, I do have feelings! Isn't that just what a fourteen year old longs to hear, that she looks weird? Yep, it truly does help my self esteem, huh?

I didn't know HOW to respond... it was just such an out-of-the-blue, uncalled for, and rude comment! So I sarcastically said, "Thanks." and walked out of the room. At this point I didn't care what she thought of me.

[If it matters, we've known these people for a while - they're not random strangers - it's just, we're not like extremely close to them. Or at least I don't feel this way.]

She and her twin sister have done this type of thing before. It's nothing new. This is just one of the most recent, RANDOM comments. I don't know where it came from. It did hurt my self-esteem a bit since when I was looking in the mirror, I didn't think of myself as weird-looking. I thought l looked the same as always.

Do you think I reacted right or wrong?

Do I have a right to be angry?

Should I have reacted differently?

What would you have done if you were in my situation?

I don't think I could handle it if she keeps on randomly picking out my faults. It would hurt my self esteem a WHOLE lot, not to mention make me incredibly angry. What's wrong with this girl? I never asked her to tell me all this!

Answer 1

Look at "Mary" right square in the eyes and say exactly this, "I do not like you.  Do not speak to me unless I speak to you first.  Do not approach me.  Do not look at me. You may be bigger than me and you may be family but I am not afraid to smack you right in the mouth if you p**s me off." And then the next time she makes you mad punch her in the face.  

This may seem extreme but it is guaranteed to get her attention.  

Answer 2

If you can - try and respond with a cool and studied sarcasm.

Many people, especially those out to bully people, or make them uncertain, cannot handle real sarcasm.

It will take some practice, but it will be rewarding.

Example:

One of them says to you (when you enter a room) OMG, you look weird.

Then, you could reply (with a sigh of relief) ' Well, finally - recognition. It`s sooooo hard to get noticed for what you are these days '.

This is such an unsuspecting response, that most likely they`ll fall silent. (score one for you).

Good sarcasm is an awesome tool, but takes practice to be delivered with optimum impact.

Enjoy, and good luck.

Answer 3

I remember reletives like that when I was a kid. I promised myself when I had my own house I would not allow it to go on. There have been a few times guests have found their butts on the front steps with their baggage. I love the "Well, if this is the way you treat your guests we won't be back." DOH - Like I was going to let them come back. LOL

Tell your parents the girls are being jerks then stay in your room and lock your door to keep them out.

So what if you wear make up - if your parents allow it then it's no business of anyone else.

Try to spend as much time as you can with your friends at their house.

Answer 4

Take her aside and tell her that she is a guest in your home through the kindness of you and your family and you will expect her to act in a respectful manner. Tell her to stay out of your room. Tell her that if she continues to harrass you, you are going to have to speak to her parents and yours because you will not settle for disruption of your peace and your space.