I'm a Catholic & don't want to lie about plans to use contraceptives.Can I not get married in Catholic church?

Question

This may be a case of having my cake and eating it too, but I know I will use contraceptives until I am ready for a baby. I plan on marrying a non-Catholic which probably doesn't help my case. Still, I would really like to be married in a Catholic church and plan to raise my child as a Catholic. What are the odds of being denied the chance of marriage in the church (assuming I go through the premarital classes and a dispensation)?

Answer 1

In my little opinion, Miss Kitty Cat, I would say that you should be very honest with the priest, and answer all his questions honestly.  Then he will tell you whether or not he will marry you.  If you do not tell the truth, then if he finds out that you lied to him, he can take back the ceremony.  So, speak to him honestly, and you shall get your answers.

Answer 2

That issue never came up for us and we were married Catholic.

Answer 3

I got married in a Catholic church and was never asked what my plans for contraception were.  A priest is generally not going to ask a young woman about something like that.  Don't worry about it.

Answer 4

The Catholic Church will be happy to marry you. Don't worry about your personal actions regarding contraceptives. It is not a mortal sin and the church will be surely happy that you plan some children and have them properly educated as Catholics.

Answer 5

I too am catholic you will not be denied your wedding because of birth control .. I had a child when I got married ( child out of wedlock) to my husband who is also my son' s dad.. they just teach you of techniques that can be used for family planning not give you  have to check list on how to be a married catholic... it will be fine

Answer 6

If you're not too bent out of shape about telling the Church a little white lie of omission (i.e. not specifically saying you will be using contraceptives, yet also not promisng not to), you should be fine.  As a "recovering Catholic," one of my biggest problems with the Church is the way they want to control aspects of your personal life, such as family planning, which I personally feel is none of their business.  However, I also feel that it is important to give your child some sort of religious background so that he/she can make an informed decision about religion when he/she comes of age, so I commend you for wanting to be accepted by the Catholic church regardless of your birth-control preferences.  I think that if you attend the requisite pre-marital courses, dispensation, etc. the subject shouldn't even come up, but honestly, if I were in your position and they asked me flat-out about contraceptive use, I would just lie and say I would not be using them, and worry about h**l later, LOL.  After all, what they don't know won't hurt them...and that's what they get for being such buttinskys.

Answer 7

Nope, you can. Given that the church will marry couples who are already living together, and that this has no associated divorce risk (which is one of the only reasons they won't perform a marriage) you're good. However, lying about it to the priest, if he finds out, will most likely be cause for them to not perform the marriage.

And unless you have a really conservative parish (and only some of those) you're fine with marrying a non-Catholic.

Answer 8

It should be fine, most Catholic churches pretty much have a don't ask, don't tell policy. Since your future husband is not Catholic you both will have to pledge to raise the children catholic. Your use of contraceptives should be a non issue.  

Answer 9

well i am catholic and i got married in the church and i was using contraceptive i was never asked about that by my priest so if i was you and ur worried over it u can always ask ir local priest or do nt say anything about it to the church that way ur not lieing u just not saying anything unless ur asked then say yes when u do get married they ask are willing to bring up any children that god may grant u in a catholic up bringing that s all do nt worry it will all work out