I'm a NICE PERSON BUT...Should we pay for his parents Travel AND Hotel at OUR wedding?

Question

My fiance's parents said they can't afford to come to our wedding. They live in NC. We live in CA. So we purchased their flights, thinking they would at least pay for their hotel. They still haven't gotten their room. WEDDING IS IN 30 DAYS!.

Keep in mind, MANY times a year, we give money to them when they ask. And they've known about the wedding for a year.

Are we supposed to cover the HOTEL TOO???

Answer 1

no way !! make them pay for it.

these people cross the line from needing a helping hand to being completely inconsiderate and manipulative.

Answer 2

That's ridiculous!

I'm sorry but you should not HAVE to pay their entire way for them, weddings are expensive enough. Obviously they're not very well off, but if they've known about the wedding for a year then they should have planned something and saved some money by now - it's their own son's wedding for goodness sake!

Sorry, but my mum isn't very wealthy at all, so I think I will probably offer to pay for a new outfit for her, but she can stay with family while she's in the area, and she has plenty of time to arrange things too. If you were to offer, if you could afford it, then fine, but since you've already paid for their flights - that's just a joke!

Have you spoken with your fiance about this? If you haven't already, I would really recommend sitting down with him and discussing your concerns. Maybe, if they really do want to be there, and you both really want them there, see if you can fit it into your budget?

Please check out my question...

http://au.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind...

Answer 3

No, you were not responsible for the plane tickets but it was nice to buy them.  Now if they have no hotel room they will be out in the cold.  Call and remind them that they need to make a reservation and then say you must go before they ask you to pay for it.  There are hotels and motels in many price ranges so let them pay what they can afford.  They can make an effort if they really want to be there.  You are starting your own life now time to stop the gravy train and let your folks fend for themselves.

Answer 4

Hi my sister had a similar problem because her wedding is out of town.. we rented little bus-like thingys for people who we really knew couldnt afford coming. I think you should maybe hint it to them like starting out with a comment of how excited you are and ask them if they have their rooms already because they are filling up if they say they don't they might be able to tell you why not maybe they just forgot! (Hopefully) You know how parents are these days =] if not then you should consider helping them out if you can because I am sure your hubby-to be would like his parents to be with him for one of the most important days of his life

Good Luck!

Answer 5

Just have him ask it indirectly and if they haven't then whether or not you want to, you really have no choice. So just be the bigger person and don't make a big fuss out of it.

They're family and if the situation was reversed you should also expect him to step in without hesitations.

All the best.

Answer 6

They told you that they can't afford it.  Got that NOW?!  Yes, cover the hotel too.

Answer 7

Well, no....BUT.....can they really not afford it and you can, or are they just being cheap? Since you have already purchased the plane tickets they are obviously coming, you should have your fiance ask them if they are planning on staying in the wedding hotel or if they are going to stay somewhere else. Tell them rooms are filling up and they need to make their reservations soon.

In the end, if they simply don't have the funds, you might end up paying for their room. My brother is getting married in a few months and he paid for my mom's hotel, but she is getting her own plane tickets. I think it is nice to cover one or the other if you can afford it, but sounds like they are getting a bit greedy.

Answer 8

You bet, if it gets them there! You do what it takes.

Answer 9

No....I don't think you should have to pay for their room. You have paid for everything else, they should have to contribute somehow!

Answer 10

No.....if they want it bad enough they will get it. Just don't say anything and let them figure it out.