I'm a computer addict!? I think its destroying my life!?

Question

I'm 16 years old and I turn 17 in two months. I have social anxiety and used to get bullied in school. Right around the time I developed social anxiety, I had gotten a computer. I then started chatting in chatrooms with other people. Chatrooms arent usually normal people conversations as they can be very very graphic and people can be crude.

4 years ago, almost 5.. all I have done is sit on my computer all day. From when I get up till its time to go to bed. I usually read the news and chat with online friends. im a very social person online but in real life I dont socialize at all. I get nervous going out into public and being around strangers. I got nervous before I had a computer but it seems to be worse since I got one. When I used to go to school, I would be on the computer that much and my anxiety seemed to die down. But once I got on my computer on the weekends, and when monday came around to go back to school I would freak out and be frightend to go out and be around people. Sometimes my internet would be shut off for two weeks and my anxiety would die down because I would be out shopping with my parents or going out to eat and doing yard work. But as soon as I get on the computer my social skills turn computerized and my physical skills vanish.

Can this happen? What has happened to me? Is it because I isolate myself too much? Even without a computer I would still have social anxiety because I have had a bad time in school. I also dropped out of school and to top it off, all I do is sit on my computer because I have nothing else to do. I have no friends either, I am thinking about getting a job but I fear that I wont be able to socialize.

When i'm out and around someone could say hi to me and I will freeze up and just stare at them because I have nothing to say. When I go to my cousins he could be sitting there talking to me telling me about something and I want to communicate with him back and add input but I cant find no words to say to him to socialize.My mind goes blank!

Answer 1

I suggest getting into a socializing activities like scouts or venturers (or girl guides) it works or even debating it will cut down on your computer time and should help!

Answer 2

You sound like you are a very articulate individual so it is possible that it is likely you suffer from social anxiety.  Have you considered therapy and medication to help with the anxiety?  Paxil is one of the medications used to help treat this and it does help people tremendously.  Therapy is also very helpful because it gets you to focus on yourself to see things differently rather than worrying about the extraneous circumstances.

Try joining  group therapy for social anxiety.  This sometimes can be soothing to find others who can relate to your experiences.  They are the most supportive people and become true friends to get you through the hurdles in life.

People of high I.Q. suffer from this too.  My girlfriend's friend is a genius and she has a terrible time with social anxiety.  She hasn't a clue what to say and thinks she's such a social r****d, but we always remind her that we're all so different and that is what makes the world so special because no two people are alike.  

You are unique and just because you don't feel comfortable to socialize  isn't necessarily a problem.  It's those around you who have the issue of not being able to deal with.  

Answer 3

While since you're very social on the internet, you are able to have a conversation with other people. Try having a conversation with your parents and once your confident talking to them talk to someone not as close to you for example: your cousin.

Tell your parents about this problem, this problem shouldn't stay within you. What are families for? They're people who you can trust, people to go to if you're feeling down, people who will help you... When you were bullied in school you should have told your parents about it and your parents would have rung the school about this situation.

Use the computer less... And go outside more... The more you go outside the more you will have experience with talking to people and the less you will be scared to go out. You NEED to get over your anxiety!

Also, try and forget the unpleasant times of your life, you need to move on and stop thinking about it. That will drive your life down the toilet.

1. Conversation with parents

2. Tell your parents about your problems (ooo thats a conversation topic)

3. Go out more

4. Get over your anixety

5. Use the computer less

6. Forget unpleasant pastimes

Hope that helped =)  

Answer 4

when the computer interferes with your life, you have a problem

when your life interferes with your computer, your an addict. you really should get a job. it's a good way to gain social skills, plus you can't get fired for not being social. so if you s***w up and embarrass yourself, no one cares

Answer 5

Yes but a lot of your problems stem from spending too much time online.. you need to join a club. Any club where you meet people of your age group to socialize.. it can be a sport or creative. Your social phobia would diminish then and you would feel a sense of accomplishment.. and you would make friends and they would help you to overcome fears.. not everyone is a bully. Because of what happened to you in the past.. you have to go and find a job eventually and you will fit in.. if you really believe you suffer from social phobia talk to your doctor .. but the best thing for you would be to meet people in a group or club.. if you are interested in painting.. join such a club. there are different hobby clubs. Whatever it is that interests you apart from surfing the web.. that would do you good and you would make friends but the computer isolates you same as watching tv or reading a book you can do those things on your own and you don't need to talk. so you isolate yourself from talking and communicating and those are the things that would help you to overcome your fears.. to communicate face to face with other people or get to mix with people of your age group in person.. xxxx

Answer 6

Man! Try to read books that are related in personal development at Borders and keep on practicing it in real life. Face your fears and again keep on practicing the good things that you've learned from your heart and because you loved it, you can do it....

Go go go!